Markb24 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Hi Here is my story,I've just gone through a pretty bad time with my daughters mother,court and non stop fighting for almost 2 years... I treated her pretty bad when we were together,my daughter is 2 1/2 now and I see her very regularary,the thing is my ex has recently separated from her partner and we have managed to stop arguing,which has in turn led to us getting along very well,I foolish picked it up the wrong way and told her that Id still like to be a family one day... She said she wasn't interesed,we were only getting on well for about a month... It was after this I fou out she is still sleeping with her ex,I voiced my concerns about what it would teach our daughter about relationships,it fell on deaf ears and things got a bit heated again. My problem is this guy passed smug comment about my father who had just passed away from cancer so essentialy I despise him,and deep down I want to fix things up with her,we've both changed for the better considerable in the last 2 years and have more in common now than when we met,I can still get her to laugh and relax easily when we spend time together with our daughter. What confuses me is she's clearly stated she's not interested in reconciliation but has now put it too me she's willing to travel overseas with our daughter to where my family lives,that would mean 2 weeks of just us hanging out.... I'm also in a new relationship that is going well but my heart is with her and my daughter,is she waiting to see if I've really changed or am I once again picking things up wrong... Confused.com Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 If you're TRULY concerned about what's best for your daughter, you'll accept that the romantic relationship is over and stop finding reasons to antagonize your ex and disapprove of her boyfriends. You're not teaching your daughter anything positive about relationships if you continue to argue with her mother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Markb24 Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 If you're TRULY concerned about what's best for your daughter, you'll accept that the romantic relationship is over and stop finding reasons to antagonize your ex and disapprove of her boyfriends. You're not teaching your daughter anything positive about relationships if you continue to argue with her mother. We have moved past it,I for to add that she told me he suffers from untreated bi polar disorder and is just out of prison so I think I have every right to voice my concerns,but thanks for your comment Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Actually, you have ZERO right to say who your ex dates or doesn't date, unless it affects the well-being of your daughter. Honestly though, you seem to be creating more than your share of turmoil in that young girl's life yourself. Stop worrying about your ex's lovelife and focus on being a good DAD. Why not work to become the source of stability for your daughter? Surely that's more important than the romance with your ex. The fact that you have a girlfriend while still obviously wanting to reconcile with your ex?? Again.... take responsibility for modelling the worst for your daughter, who will grow up seeing YOU as the template for all future boyfriends/husbands. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Markb24 Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 Actually, you have ZERO right to say who your ex dates or doesn't date, unless it affects the well-being of your daughter. Honestly though, you seem to be creating more than your share of turmoil in that young girl's life yourself. Stop worrying about your ex's lovelife and focus on being a good DAD. Why not work to become the source of stability for your daughter? Surely that's more important than the romance with your ex. The fact that you have a girlfriend while still obviously wanting to reconcile with your ex?? Again.... take responsibility for modelling the worst for your daughter, who will grow up seeing YOU as the template for all future boyfriends/husbands. Again thanks for your input,but we are both fantastic parents who care and love our daughter immensely,you do not know the full story so don't act like you do, My question is am I picking things up right,even last night I dropped of my daughter to her mothers house in what should be a 5 min exchange turned into 2hrs of a chat and laughing over a coffee,which ended up with me putting my daughter to bed,just feels weirdly comfortable Link to post Share on other sites
BulgarianBoy Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Ruby, why are you assuming that the OP is a bad parent.? There are plenty of people that argue with their ex wives get divorce, etc and are still amazing parents to their children. The OP just wanted advice for the situation, not a lesson on how to be a father. As for your situation, OP, just tale things slow and don't look too much into what everything means. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself, as you might see reconciliation where your ex-partner only sees friendship and comfort due to you guys sharing a daughter. If you have fully changed, she will see it and she might eventually act upon it. Keep doing yourself and keep putting your daughter first. Also do not get involved into messy arguments with your ex about who she dates or doesn't. However, do voice your concerns peacefully if your daughters well being is involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Markb24 Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Ruby, why are you assuming that the OP is a bad parent.? There are plenty of people that argue with their ex wives get divorce, etc and are still amazing parents to their children. The OP just wanted advice for the situation, not a lesson on how to be a father. As for your situation, OP, just tale things slow and don't look too much into what everything means. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself, as you might see reconciliation where your ex-partner only sees friendship and comfort due to you guys sharing a daughter. If you have fully changed, she will see it and she might eventually act upon it. Keep doing yourself and keep putting your daughter first. Also do not get involved into messy arguments with your ex about who she dates or doesn't. However, do voice your concerns peacefully if your daughters well being is involved. Thank you! Yes we are both very loving parents and our daughter is always first priority.... I'm afraid I'm picking things up wrong again,I get the feeling from my ex that the romance with her ex is gone,she's even invited me to go to the gym and train with her,we've both become competitive bodybuilders since splitting up.... She seems a lot more interested in hanging out on a social level... Guess everything will happen as it is supposed to Link to post Share on other sites
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