sparkle Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 I am a 25 year old female who has been friends with a 30 year old male for over six months. We talk on the phone and e-mail each other everyday. In the beginning of our friendship, he expressed to me that he liked me and that I was a wonderful person. Not too long afterwards, I told him that I liked him too and that he was a great person to be around. We have a lot of common interests, especially sports, and we have had long discussions on many topics. For the first couple of months, he would call me every other day, but as time went on he started e-mailing and calling me everyday. However, we've only seen each other a few times during these six months. One of those times that we were together we kissed and made out. He told me that his last relationship (which ended over a year ago) was really painful for him. For over a year he has been single, and he felt the time alone was good for him emotionally. Repeatedly, he has told me that he thinks about me everyday and that the first time he saw me, he was crazy about me. We have not been sexual with each other because we both feel that once you become intimate with someone then emotional involvement occurs. I feel that I am getting mixed signals from him because he says he likes me but yet nothing is happening. I asked him about his intentions towards me, and he claims that he is confused. A part of him wants to be in a relationship with me and another part of him is reluctant. I want to be more than friends, but I am reluctant to express my feelings towards him because I don't want to ruin our friendship. Should I wait for a few more months or should I start seeing other people? Link to post Share on other sites
Paulie Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Is this the same "Sparkle" that usually posts here?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparkle Posted March 13, 2001 Author Share Posted March 13, 2001 No, this is a different Sparkle Is this the same "Sparkle" that usually posts here?? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 You are a rebound via telephone for him. Get a grip!!! This guy has strung you out for SIX months...hasn't even asked you out...you've only seen him a couple of times...and you are still thinking about waiting longer??? YUK. I can't say that this guy is using you because you are a very willing participant. Now, assuming this is not a long distance relationship (I don't remember you saying one way or the other), even if he's still getting over his ex he could still take you out to eat and the two of you could hang as friends in person. He is NOT your friend if he is just going to keep you hanging until he is good and ready for you. And you are NOT looking out for your own best interests if you just sit around your house everyday waiting for your phone buddy to call. If you feel lonely and there's some special need you have to talk to him everyday, that's quite OK. Only you can determine your personal needs. But relationships are meant to be conducted in person. Men related to women for thousands of years before telephones and the Internet...and it got us to where we were today (maybe that's good, maybe not but anyway here we are). I don't doubt this guy is very nice and I don't doubt for a minute that you are quite smitten with him. But let's be real. If he hasn't asked you out but once or twice in the six months you've known him and mutually admired each other, there is a problem here bigger than both of you. He has some issues to deal with that you may never know about. This whole thing is about you looking out for you no matter how much you like this guy. The bottom line is you need to ask this dude to clarify his position about the two of you. If he's interested in you romantically, let him know you expect him to ask you out and to conduct the association as such. If he just wants to be your buddy, your life is better served by talking to him once a week and going out and finding some good loving and romance. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Stick to real estate...you'll never make a good private detective!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tree Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 yes, but if a guy wasent at the least interested, then why does he call her everyday etc. I dont think he just wants to be buddies with her. He probably wants more, but is afraid, fear of getting hurt maybe. He just got out of a relationship, why rush into another one You are a rebound via telephone for him. Get a grip!!! This guy has strung you out for SIX months...hasn't even asked you out...you've only seen him a couple of times...and you are still thinking about waiting longer??? YUK. I can't say that this guy is using you because you are a very willing participant. Now, assuming this is not a long distance relationship (I don't remember you saying one way or the other), even if he's still getting over his ex he could still take you out to eat and the two of you could hang as friends in person. He is NOT your friend if he is just going to keep you hanging until he is good and ready for you. And you are NOT looking out for your own best interests if you just sit around your house everyday waiting for your phone buddy to call. If you feel lonely and there's some special need you have to talk to him everyday, that's quite OK. Only you can determine your personal needs. But relationships are meant to be conducted in person. Men related to women for thousands of years before telephones and the Internet...and it got us to where we were today (maybe that's good, maybe not but anyway here we are). I don't doubt this guy is very nice and I don't doubt for a minute that you are quite smitten with him. But let's be real. If he hasn't asked you out but once or twice in the six months you've known him and mutually admired each other, there is a problem here bigger than both of you. He has some issues to deal with that you may never know about. This whole thing is about you looking out for you no matter how much you like this guy. The bottom line is you need to ask this dude to clarify his position about the two of you. If he's interested in you romantically, let him know you expect him to ask you out and to conduct the association as such. If he just wants to be your buddy, your life is better served by talking to him once a week and going out and finding some good loving and romance. Link to post Share on other sites
original sparkle Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 I was so confused when I saw a post written by me! But then I realized it was another sparkle...maybe I'll have to think of another name... *SIGH* Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Please keep your name. You're the BEST!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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