Is having a best female friend sabotaging my relationships with women?

[TunaCat]

Anyone who would make me distance or ditch my friendships would be automatically removed from my life.

 

I do not see a problem with people of the opposite sex being friends. If a potential partner thought it was a problem, then we wouldn't be compatible.

[preraph]

All you need to do to diffuse the situation is include your romantic interest anytime you see Sara. Chances are Sara does have romantic feelings toward you, if you're honest. So she may not like it. But get your girlfriend involved and see how it goes or if Sara decides to do a quick fade because she realizes you're taken and not about to sneak around with her. Just because she's sick doesn't necessarily mean she's guileless. So once you start dating someone, tell them about her and that you want them to meet her. Don't wait until they're already suspicious.

[violet1]

And bisexual people, I suppose, are permitted no friends at all.

 

Anyone who made me ditch or distance myself from my friends would be immediately disqualified from having any kind of relationship with me.

 

OP, just like any other preference you have, it will narrow your field of opportunity. But it will narrow it to the women actually worthy of you.

I agree with this. Honestly, Sara sounds more like a sister. My H has had female, platonic friends for longer than he's known me. At first, I was a bit bothered by it until I met the ladies. I watched how they reacted with each other and I was no longer threatened. In fact, I became their friends too. I had more problems with him hanging out with his guy friends than with his female friends.

 

 

I suggest you are honest with any potential gf from day one. Let her know that you have a close platonic female friend and invite her to tag along. It's also important for Sara to be open with you bringing your gf along.

 

 

IMHO, it just depends on what a person has experienced in past relationships. If a woman has had bad experiences with an ex and female friends then she most likely will not be okay with Sara. However, there's also a lot of women who have no problem with their bf's having platonic female friends. Just be patient and honest in the beginning. You will find a woman who adores you and will be open to becoming Sara's friend too.

 

 

Best of Luck!

[violet1]

Look, it would not be ideal even if Sara is your sister let alone just some woman you are helping... She would still need you and take time from your relationship.

Not necessarily, I think it's healthy to have friendships whether you're single or not. My brother and I are very close. He's one of my best friends. We talk several times a week. My H and sister in-law have no issues with it at all. All of us are friends and all hang out together. My sister in-law has a very jealous personality too, but she has no problems with me. In fact, if anything she's jealous that she's not close to her siblings like my brother and are. I would feel smothered if I was expected to only be close to my spouse and nobody else. There are romantic relationships and platonic friendships. Both are important IMO. Being a member of the opposite sex doesn't have to be a big deal.