Need to get away...

[bathtub-row]

My advice would he to have your financials in line FIRST, then quit the job. Either have another job lined up, or have your house sold and know when the cash is coming. Use your head, not your emotions.

 

I totally agree. I was just really upset the other day. It's not the first time I've felt that way. I know I'll get through it; it's just hard going through it.

[bathtub-row]

You are awesome! You are raising a son on your own and you have created a way to be self employed. You go girl!

 

Leave that company and the drama behind and step out on faith. You can do it!

 

Thank you, sweetie. Getting my real estate license was the best thing I ever did. I'm not sure what I'd hang on to if I didn't have the hope of being able to get away from there and make it on my own.

[whichwayisup]

Yesterday, after the brow-beating conversation my boss had with me, about an hour later, one of the women on my team was in my boss's office with the door shut. She does some work for him and one of the VP's there but I'm her boss. She is almost never in his office with the door closed. When I saw that so quickly after his conversation with me, I immediately thought that he has plans to replace her with me and that he has been talking to her about it. I hoped against hope that this was not the case because it would mean that he's undermining me with someone on my team. Today, I thought things went really well but when I was leaving the office, the same woman was in my boss's office with the door shut again. This makes me very uncomfortable as I think he actually is making plans behind my back. I think he's paranoid that I'll quit and leave him in the lurch, and/or, he's looking for a reason to get rid of me.

 

One of the things he said to me the other day was that he was "tired of doing my work for me". I almost fell over as I'm one of the hardest working people there. When I asked him more about this, he was only referring to the fact that he has asked me to talk in meetings with the VP's and field personnel. I did as he asked but he said that he had to bring up something that I should've brought up. This was truly a ridiculous conversation as he never once clarified that I needed to bring up something like that, which was very specific. He then backed down and said he couldn't blame me for something he wasn't clear about. This is the nonsense I'm dealing with. I just want to scream sometimes.

 

My sister says that I should involve xMM in this situation but I think that's a mistake. I'll only do that if I have nowhere else to turn.

 

Listen to your gut. From what you've said so far it does seem like he's making a plan to either replace you or continue to undermine you and make it seem like you're incapable of doing your job properly. And the woman you work with on your team is involved somehow.

 

What can exMM do?

 

Hate to say it but when management decides they want someone gone, they usually get their way..paper trails, and waiting for slip up's. Document everything, be aware and alert.

[jay1983]

I totally agree. I was just really upset the other day. It's not the first time I've felt that way. I know I'll get through it; it's just hard going through it.

 

Well back then people didn't have to compete with each other at the level we do today, which meant more of us getting together, not settling but liking each other once we got acquainted.

 

That has absolutely nothing to do with your situation. I just remembered our first encounter and felt like screwing with you.

[bathtub-row]

Listen to your gut. From what you've said so far it does seem like he's making a plan to either replace you or continue to undermine you and make it seem like you're incapable of doing your job properly. And the woman you work with on your team is involved somehow.

 

What can exMM do?

 

Hate to say it but when management decides they want someone gone, they usually get their way..paper trails, and waiting for slip up's. Document everything, be aware and alert.

 

Yes, you're right. Since I'm management, I'm very aware of what goes on. I've done it many times myself, and I'm the queen of documentation. For some reason, my boss said that he wanted the conversation to be informal. If he has any sense, he documented it anyway. I have no idea what he has done. Usually, his actions are driven by our COO; the company control freak and micro-manager; a person my boss is continually in fear of. I probably did something to piss someone off without knowing it and the COO jumped on it. It's not hard to do in that company. When I asked my boss for examples of things I've done that he didn't like, he didn't have one single example. Not one.

 

I have entertained the idea that the Corp office may be tracking my movements on my computer, which would show my real estate activity. This may be the reason for all of this. If that is the real issue, then xMM is going to have to step in.

 

What can xMM do? He owns the company. He can do whatever he wants. In the past, he specifically told one of my boss's that he couldn't fire me. The reason he did that was because he knew my boss was doing underhanded things. Looking back, I now realize that was the beginning of the many sticky situations I would be in in the years to come.

 

The hard truth is, xMM and I share a secret and he knows all the dynamics of this situation. He also knows that I could be potentially dangerous if anything happens to me. I don't like calling in favors from him, but I might do it if I continue to get negative vibes. I don't like playing that game but I'm not going to let someone terminate me for the ridiculous reasons I've been given.

 

Seriously, what a mess!

[bathtub-row]

Well back then people didn't have to compete with each other at the level we do today, which meant more of us getting together, not settling but liking each other once we got acquainted.

 

That has absolutely nothing to do with your situation. I just remembered our first encounter and felt like screwing with you.

 

Funny, Jay.

 

Hope you're doing well.

[MissBee]

I guess I just need to vent, and would like some advice. I'm so sick of being in the company that xMM owns. I'm sick of all the things tied to being there, tired of watching him with his family in meetings, sick of all the crap that's tied to it. No matter what, I don't think I will ever be at peace until I just leave. Something happened at work today that just blindsided me and I have no idea where it came from. Something similar happened last year and xMM stepped in and put a stop to it when he found out that there was really nothing to talk about. Lately, I thought things were going great with my boss, and basically everything, but it turns out that I'm wrong. I've really had enough.

 

I'm single and my son is grown and out of the house. I have a home that I owe about $70k on. I might be able to sell it for around $120k or $130k. I have a side career that I've been working on for about a year (real estate). If I sell my house and move into an apartment, I would probably have enough money to live on for nearly a year and establish my real estate career. My sister is moving back to where I live and we plan to live together. What do you guys think? I'm starting to feel trapped and that I have nowhere to turn. I just want to run away. I feel so sad and it seems to always come back to being at this company. I suppose I could go work somewhere else but I would really hate that. I like real estate because I can be self-employed. I have come to hate working for someone else. I sure could use some suggestions.

 

Sounds like you need a fresh start and it also sounds like you've thought about it and have a pretty feasible plan to achieve it. What you're saying doesn't sound like a flight of fancy but pretty well thought out and it just seems like you need to make a break from that job and MM and move on to new ventures...I support it and wish you luck!

[Survivor12]

I think it's important to know what stirred up this issue with my boss but, I know now that if I asked him, he would lie about it. I really don't know what happened and probably never will. The only reason I care is because I want to know if it's xMM's son who has stirred this up. I doubt it but I don't trust the situation (he knows about his dad and I). As long as I'm there, in my mind, it does matter. But I'll just have to let it go. No one will be forthcoming about that.

 

The only problem with getting another job is that I will lose the freedom that I have in my current job. Working at another company would seriously limit my freedom. If I were practicing real estate full-time, selling a couple of homes for $300k isn't that far-fetched because of the market area I'm in. As it is, I limit the clients I have, etc. I'm about to ramp up the marketing, though, and things could turn around. But I totally understand about being realistic and all that. Being realistic and responsible are the only things that have kept me pinned to this lousy situation.

 

I have looked at jobs in real estate offices but, so far, nothing has turned up. It's a good idea and something could pan out at some point. Thank you for your thoughts.

 

For the record, I misunderstood. From your OP, I thought that MM was your boss & that whatever happened that upset you was of a personal nature.

[Popsicle]

Bathtub, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. We all have bad days. I hope you feel better soon.

[loveboid]

With all of your office politics I would pay off the mortgage extra quick. Then you have more freedom. Remember AP's throw the OW/OM under the bus when the BS finds out. I'm sure AP's do the same in the workplace.

[bathtub-row]

Bathtub, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. We all have bad days. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Thank you, sweetie. I'm much better now. I talked to my boss today because there was a meeting yesterday that I stood up and talked in, so I asked if what I did/said was more what he wanted from me. He did it was. I also asked him about his comment about him having to do my job for me. He said that it was only related to the meetings that he wanted me to participate in, which he admitted he wasn't very clear on.

 

However, I'm not kidding myself that things are all rosey again and that the sun will always be shining. I simply need to get away from there. I'm going to work very hard to accomplish that.

 

Thanks again for your kind wishes.

[bathtub-row]

With all of your office politics I would pay off the mortgage extra quick. Then you have more freedom. Remember AP's throw the OW/OM under the bus when the BS finds out. I'm sure AP's do the same in the workplace.

 

Yes. If my mortgage were gone, I'd be in a great position in many ways. The truth is, I could sell my house now and pay cash for a house that needs fixing up. I guess if push came to shove, I could do that. But it's not my first choice. In a couple of years, I may go that route. I doubt that I'll put myself in the position to have a mortgage again. There's really no need for it.

 

To xMM's credit, he didn't throw me under the bus when his kids found out about us. He basically told them that it was his fault and not to blame me. Now, that could all change if I exposed him to his wife deliberately. I doubt I would ever do that unless he instigated getting me fired, or if he didn't step in to protect me if I were truly wronged. I hope things never go downhill to that degree.