Still have internal conflicts inside myself. Is this 'Normal' given my background?

[thestaircase]

Ms. Ruby Slippers,

Do you believe in astroloy that much? My husband doesn't believe in it at all, he thinks it just fun and entertainment. He said: Rather you like the person or you don't, he doesnt' care about the sun signs.

 

 

May I ask, what sign was your ex-boyfriend?

I think the best sign for you is a Taurus or Capricorn, because BOTH Taurus and Capricorn are the type who are Financial stability. They both are Earth sign, and Earth signs needs/wants and have stability in money.

 

 

Astrology wise, actually me and my husband doesn't match at all. It more than just the Sun sign alone. The whole birth chart need to be looked at all together.

I plug in our B-day for Synastry report, and we come out with the score -54.24 (NEGATIVE 54)

Negative scores show discord/square/opposition between a couple, which is undesired.

It said the average harmory score is about +10, and OUR is -54 (NEGATIVE 54 below zero)

Now that is big time discord, lol

 

You can try this site, to get Synastry chart for you and your ex-boyfriend, or your dates.

http://www.astrowin.org/scripts/synastry_chart.php

 

 

Surprisingly me and my husband still married. And talking about clingy, he is the one that clingy, not me. Our whole relationship is I run, and he chase. And he actually enjoyed the chase. Which is not Libra at all, because Libra hate to chase.

NO Libra men I ever come across that likes to desperately chase a girl. My husband is an exception, I blame in it on him being a 'Left-handed' Libra.

 

You probably surprise by my husband's Moon sign. He have Pisces moon! A Libra sun sign with a Pisces moon, now that is one heck of a combo, lol

Moon are your inner-self, your inner-emotions. And him having a very watery Pisces moon probably explained why he not very Libra.

I bet his Pisces Moon sign placement probably kick off his Sun Libra sign.

A Gemini wife lay in bed with a WATERY Pisces Moon husband, now this is a very odd astrology combo. Air and Water make Bubbles at night, lol

 

 

 

You have any plan for Mother's Day? Is your parents in the same state as you?

 

My husband already have his plans for his mother. Being a filial son he is, he just going to spoil his mom, from take her out to eat to buy her all kinds of gifts.

I'm actually very happy that he treats his mom well. His mom is the woman that give birth to him, she gave him life. The woman that go through all the hardship to raise him. His dad deceased when he young.

 

 

I do not have good relationship with my mom at all. However, I do love my dad. I'm going to visit my father this weekend. When I come back home to visit my dad, I usually stay just to eat a meal with him. While hearing my mom lecture me, and insulting me.

Which is fine, I'm numb to her lectures words. It won't be long stay, as soon I finished the meal with my dad, I just leave.

 

It an irony how now in my dad old age, it is my mom that take care of him. Despite back in our homeland, dad cheats on mom when he on his business trips to make money.

My mom sure have her lucky side. She might not have a faithful husband, but she have all the money. Never once in her life she have to work, not even work for one day. She doesn't even have to lift a finger, dad even hired maid to cook and clean.

 

 

Mom married to dad who is a businessman 10+ years older than her. He got nice house, nice cars, he bring back bags of money back for my mom when he back from his business trips.

All she have to do is spend money, and raise me and my older brother. This is a very typical life of the Chinese culture and the Chinese husband.

Now we in USA, and dad have Chinese restaurant business here, 3 branches. They set for life, all mom do is come and collect money at the end of the day.

 

 

Do I envy my mom life? Nope! Do I want this life? Nope, I resent it.

That is why I always protect myself, I always leave an "exit" for me and my husband.

I asked myself before, would my life be more happy if I married a "Book smart" Chinese husband? Nope! Living a life like my mother, it meaningless to me.

 

You know what worst is, not only my dad cheats on my mom. But dad also have two children outside. He fathered two children outside with two different women. Welcome to China society, this is very normal in China.

My mom know all about my dad unfaithfulness, she knows about his children outside too. BUT there nothing she can do about it.

 

Mom have no place to go, no education, no working experience. She lives off my dad money, so she better suck it up in exchanged of this comfy lifestyle she living in. Divorce wasn't an option back in China, certainly wasn't an option for my mom.

 

 

Now you probably can clearly see why I keep on insist keeping Financial SEPARATE with my husband. Because if one day my husband cheats on me, I will just pack my things and leave.

I have no problem with walking out empty handed, I will just start my life over from scratch like I did before when I left my mother house.

Even if I have a baby with my husband, I would still leave him if he cheats. We will just Co-parent/Joint-custody of our baby.

 

 

I think "Communication" is VERY important in relationship/marriage. Part of the reason why my marriage have not fail yet is because I communciate alot with my husband. He knows exactly what he going to get out of this marriage. I lay out everything for him to see.

He knows all about my childhood, so he wasn't surprise at all when I said I want to keep Financial Separate.

My husband make more income than me anyways, so it actually more beneficial to him. He not rich, but his Truck-driving job do make decent money.

 

I have a pretty messed-up childhood. But I'm glad I break free from the life that my mom live in. No money in this world is worth more than my dignity and my ego.

 

I grew up saw my dad cheats on my mom, fathered children outside. I'm suppose to be very insecure when it come to this. BUT somehow I'm NOT insecure at all. Weird eh?

I'm actually very SECURE that my husband won't do the things my dad do. I don't know why, but I'm just secure. From the first day I know my husband till now, his actions never show any signs of being the cheater type. And ACTIONS always matter more than words.

 

 

It been raining in California today, and it late at night now and it still rain, and my husband is at his 2nd job. So he working his butt off, and I'm at home right now laying in bed playing on my Laptop. I feel terrible.

I hope 2016 come soon, we have enoughh money for a house down-payment, and he can be back to work 1 job, so I can have more time with him.

 

When we dating, he work 1 job. Now we married, he working 2 jobs so we can have money fast for a house down-payment. I see him less now as a husband than when he was my boyfriend.

 

I have to admit, I ADMIRE those who who in Long distance Relationship and work it out. How they deal with the distance, and not seeing their partner often?

I understand that if you don't love that person, then you don't miss them at all. But if you love them, then you want to see them often right? How do they handle the long distance?

 

Ms. Rubby Slippers,

You love someone long distance before? Can you share your experience?

 

 

I know a woman who married a rich husband, she have a big princess wedding. After married he often go on working trips, when he gone, he gone for 1-2 weeks. And she stay home to take care of the baby. So she is a Stay-At-Home-Mom. Lucky her right?

Somehow she able to handle her husband gone from work 1-2 weeks each time.

 

My husband will not do that. He said he will NOT work weeks away from home without seeing his wife and kids. Right now he working 2 jobs, but his jobs are local; so he home everyday, he just works long hours.

There a difference between husband work long hours but still home everyday. Than a husband that works 1-2 weeks away from home, without coming home each times.

Edited May 8, 2015 by thestairs

[Ruby Slippers]

I like astrology but haven't delved into it that deeply. And I've never ruled out a romantic prospect because of his sign My moon (emotions) is in Sagittarius, and when I was younger I had relationships primarily with Sagittarians. It's not the best match for me because they are the quintessential bachelor. I like to nest and they like to roam. But they also tend to very athletic and amazing lovers with high sex drives They have other great qualities, too, like total honesty, a great sense of adventure, endless energy.

 

Yes, I do well with earth signs. I felt the strongest bond of love with a Capricorn and a Virgo, both earth signs. I've never had a relationship with a fellow water sign. I would really like to date a Scorpio. They are the sign of SEX, and very passionate and intense, so I think I would be in heaven.

 

For Mother's Day, I'm going to try to get my mom to play tennis with me. She used to play and was very good, and I know she's still got it, if she'd just get on the court with me. Then we're going to the gardening store and she's going to pick out something nice for me to get her - a rose bush, jasmine plant, fruit tree, something like that. Then probably lunch. My mom has her flaws, but we get along and she's one of my biggest supporters in life. I'm thankful that even though I have a disappointing dad, I have a good mom. It seems that all my best qualities come from her. Though my dad passed along a few good qualities (some bad ones, too).

 

Later, I'm having dinner with an old friend who's like a second mom to me, and her husband who's like a second dad. He'll probably cook on the grill. I'm going to take her a nice pot of flowers.

 

I agree with you that your mother's life is not enviable. I've had the "bird in a pretty cage" offer many times, and it just feels sad.

 

I like book smart men because I'm book smart myself. Intelligence is one of the most attractive qualities to me. I've tried dating men who aren't that smart, and they get intimidated, and the conversation doesn't go deep enough for me. I'm not looking for a man with money - but most intelligent men seem to accumulate it.

 

The only way I could be with a man who was providing for the family but cheating on me is if I didn't care about him that much and had my own affairs on the side. But that's not me. I wouldn't be happy that way. I'm into total honesty, no lying and hiding things. I'd rather just have a casual lover or several than get into something like that.

 

I agree with you that financial independence is key. I told the guy I'm going out with tonight that I don't care if we get $2 tacos on a date. I'm evaluating him for who he is and how we connect, not his ability to take me on a flashy date.

 

I think it makes sense that you feel secure with your man. I've read that some men and women have more of the fidelity, monogamy, empathy genes than others. Some people are simply hard-wired to be faithful, and others are not, and there's a spectrum in between. Your man sounds like the best kind to me, very loyal and empathetic.

 

I've had a few long distance relationships, and I don't think I'll ever do it again. It was a turn-off for me that my last boyfriend worked so much and only planned to work and travel more as he aspired to make his millions. I want to spend time with my man, not fancy toys.

[Ruby Slippers]

Good poem:

 

Caged Bird

 

By Maya Angelou

 

A free bird leaps

on the back of the wind

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wing

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

 

But a bird that stalks

down his narrow cage

can seldom see through

his bars of rage

his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

 

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

 

The free bird thinks of another breeze

and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn

and he names the sky his own

 

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

 

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

[thestaircase]

Well this Libra Sun husband of mine have a watery Pisces moon, so that where he get his empathy trait from. Pisces are also well known to be self-sacrifice too, bet he get his sacrifice trait from that.

My husband have both---Virgo Mars and Virgo Venus. It really picky when it come to love, and he details in bed too.

The Virgo Mars and Virgo Venus of his probably explained why at the age of 29, and he didn't have any baby-mama and unmarried. Because he picky!

 

I know quite alot of guys at the age of 29, they got alot of baby-mama, or at least have kids from previous relationship. Just saying based on the guys I know.

So I'm actually lucky to snatch a guy age 29 and have zero kids.

Well, when I first met my husband, he was only 25 so he was young back then.

 

 

My ideal husband would be an Aquarius sign. I have Aquarius in my natal chart and I identify with it alot.

Aquarius are well known to be 'carefree', 'freedom' zodiac, 'detach in love', the 'wanderer' type of zodiac too.

I know an Aquarius guy, he married for 20 years already. And he and his wife both agree not to have a baby. They live their childfree life travel around, I would love to have a life like them.

 

If I married an Aquarius. We probably continue our carefree/wanderer, CHILDFREE life style until the day we died. This is the life I want, I'm scare of have a baby to tied me down... But damn it! I married Libra--who have baby fever. Why? Arg!!

 

 

I guess to conclude this thread. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all! I love you mom!

Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday in USA, I want to say I love all mothers out there.. Happy Mother's Day to all the mom and mom-to-be out there!

 

Whether good or bad mother, I still love you because you bring me to this world. This lifetime I'm unfortunate because I don't have a loving mother.

All my life and still is subconsciously, I yearn for a loving mother; a mother that I know I don't have and never had.

 

I know there are good mother out there, there mother who sacrifice their everything for their children. I love you, your chidlren is very lucky to have you. I admire you!

I wish my next life when reincarnation, I will have a loving mother like you.

 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL!!

I love you mom! And love all the mother out there!

 

For those who have bad relationship with your mother in your childhood, hope this article make you feel better: A Toast to All the Brave Kids Who Broke Up with Their Toxic Moms

 

 

Ms. Ruby Slippers, on your "THANKFUL" thread, please give an update on how your date went this weekend okay.

Hope you met 'the one' when you go out have fun with your girlfriend this weekend too.

 

 

I think this described you as Cancer woman, if you have time you should read it, I think it described you well.

http://fwozss.com/cancer-women/

 

This one described Scorpio men, which I find quite accurate.

http://fwozss.com/scorpio-men/

 

My husband would be a Scorpio if he born in late October, instead of late September.

The other day I complain to my husband about his Libra sign. He just laugh it off, he said I'm on my Laptop looking up nonsense stuff again. He thinks Astrology is nonense.

I asked him and he pretty sure his mom didn't born him early, so he is a Libra, uh... Libra is the sign that take the longest to commit, big flirt, have many women on the side, can't commit, blah blah and the negative list goes on... lol

 

Well nobody can tell the future right? I'm sure all women when they get married, they married a good man.. But 3-5 years from now, that good man can change 180 degree.

I will be back to this thread to complain about my Libra husband when that day come,

Edited May 9, 2015 by thestairs