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Talking and hanging with my Ex


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Hello,

 

So a little back ground about our past relationship. We dated, it was fun, we broke up because I was immature and I realize that and she was coping with a lot of stuff so it was hard for us to enjoy our relationship. The break up was bad, a lot of nasty things were said to each other and I NC her for about 3 years or so. Recently I heard that she moved back into my area and figures right down the street from me. One night I was out and got drunk ( I don't drink anymore so it really hit me) and I contacted her on FB. About a few hours later she was at my house and we hung out for an hour chatted and had a few beers.

 

After the drunk night the next 2 days she initiated contact with me and I replied. I've done a lot of growing up since then and I no longer harbor any bad feelings towards her. The week started it was fine, haven't texted because it felt weird and I am still on the rocks about this whole thing but yesterday she texted me to go out for dinner and I accepted. We hung out, ate and just watched some TV and talked. I felt really good at the time and it was so nice being back in her company. I still love this girl very deeply and she told her Aunt that she was going out to dinner with me and she never said anything about "being friends" or anything along those lines. I really would like to get back together with her because I feel we are both in a more stable state in our own lives that this time around could be great.

 

I guess what I am asking is with all of her initiating contact with me could she be interested in dating again? Nothing physical happened besides a hug and an almost kiss out of habit by me. I guess I really never got over her as much as I thought I did.

 

TL;DR I contacted my ex who I still love. We hung out, laughed, good times were had. I want to know if she is still interested since she has been doing most of the contact initiation.

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I'd let this play out a bit. You say you still love her deeply after three years NC.... so you should be careful not to let yourself get hurt by going too long without finding out if she's interested or not.

 

But so far, it sounds like things are going well and I think they look promising!

 

Just play it cool. Ask her out for a real date -- to dinner on a Friday or Saturday night, not just hanging out at home -- and see if she accepts.

 

Good luck! :)

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So what do you think, give it another week before asking her out on a real date? I am going to Hawaii in a few weeks for a vacation/wedding so the timing of all this is sort of bad but I don't want to miss my chance.

 

I am working on myself because I kind of let my self go since the breakup and really did nothing proactive. I mean I did the things every human does, I worked, bought a house, got promoted but it honestly felt like just moving through the motions. Dated a few girls in between...well not really more like one night stands and I was never that person but once the weight started coming off women started to accept me approaching and them approaching me.

 

I know I do love this girl and even if we end up just being really good friends I am okay with that but I feel like I would be a fool if I at least didn't try to get her back and see what happens...

 

This is all new to me, all past GFs I loved and when it was gone I never had them as friends. Lots of emotions going on right now... Happiness, scared, confused, sick. Is that a normal thing? I am 27 by the way and only had a few real girlfriends. I like LTR rather than just hi, nice to meet you, lets date, and bye.

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No need to wait a week. Call and ask her out for this Friday or Saturday night.

 

Look, this isn't rocket science. She's either going to want to start dating you again or she's not.

 

As for a friendship with her... that might take a while to get used to. If she doesn't want to go on a proper date, then I'd disappear until such time as your romantic feelings are gone. Friendship means she'll be telling you about her new boyfriends and dating.... so you want to wait until you're cool with hearing about all that.

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Noted, I will probably go for Saturday and see what she says. It's only been a week since I contacted her first but it's worth a shot. I just don't want to rush into it but the whole contacting me after me not saying anything to her at all, being friendly and just general good vibes sounds like I should act sooner rather than later.

 

I appreciate your words if it don't work out then it is what it is I guess.

 

Thank you :)

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