Should I get a divorce? Reality check needed.

[Arabella]

Last night, my husband told me he would like to renew his firearm license and get back into the hobby. He used to be really into guns when I met him but when I had my daughter, we needed the money so he ended up selling them all off.

 

For context... I was raised in a country where citizens cannot own guns. Although I don't have a problem with guns and gun aficionados in general, they do make me slightly uncomfortable due to the lack of familiarity. I always told him that when we had a child, I would not want him to store any guns at home, out of an overabundance of caution. He understood where I was coming from. At this point in our relationship, I thought he was a perfectly normal, responsible guy, and I had NO concerns about him being violent or dangerous.

 

When he told me this last night, he made it clear that he was planning to keep the guns at home. I told him this made me uncomfortable and I would prefer if he kept them in a locker at the range. He immediately became angry, saying that this meant that I wasn't letting him have the guns and I was trying to control the situation.

 

That's not the case at all. I also tried to point out that his violent behavior makes me very wary of him having guns anywhere nearby when he becomes angry... but according to him, that's comparable to kitchen knives, so if he can't have guns, I shouldn't have kitchen knives because I might use those against him. This makes no sense to me.

 

I encouraged him to renew his license and pursue his hobby, I only asked that he keeps the guns at the range. Am I being unreasonable here? Should I not have a say in this matter? It's my home as well, and I don't want to feel unsafe.

[whichwayisup]

He's being unbelievably selfish (again!) and having a gun or guns in the house is stupid and is an awful accident waiting to happen. I'm in Canada, our laws about guns are different, and I have negative opinions about it.. That's all I'll say..

 

Put your foot down and don't allow him to bully or push you around.

 

Rebook that appt with the laywer as soon as you can.

 

Arabella, I wish you strength and courage to get a plan together so you can divorce him. Sadly I can't see him ever changing, he is who he is and he isn't who you thought he was when you married him. The guy is an abuser and I'm scared for you that sooner or later he's going to get violent! Hearing that he wants a gun in the house freaks me out so I can understand why you do NOT want him to get one.

[KBarletta]

You have every right to be comfortable in your own home, and if this makes you uncomfortable, your husband ought to understand that. He is undertaking this as a "hobby" right, not necessarily for personal protection, no? In that case, I see nothing wrong with suggesting he store the guns at the location where he participates in that hobby, that being the gun range.

 

With each post, it's becoming more and more clear that A. Your husband needs counseling and B. Your best option appears to be to remove yourself from this relationship, at least until that happens, maybe for good.