adna89 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I had a terrible night ,my husband and i we had a fight once again about my insecurity things...anyway,he is in an other town right now because of work,so we just hung up on eachother....first time i do not feel the urge to call him back or be crazy over this.....but what scares me is i miss a once close friend(i have a thread about him)....i think i might be falling in a trap,the so called emotional affair my husband does not understand my problems,he does not respect it,and just becomes angry when i mention anything:/ Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Why would your husband need to be understanding about you needing an attachment/interest in another man? Why would you expect him to be ok with that? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author adna89 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Why would your husband need to be understanding about you needing an attachment/interest in another man? Why would you expect him to be ok with that? No not that,i would like him to understand my problem with trusting him.He just does not care and does not try to make it better,easier for me,,,all he says is,if you think that then just end the marriage so how am i supposed to feel after that? Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I think you haven't earned your husbands trust. Especially by the way you've participated - I read your back story. What can you change about that? Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Before you do anything else, have honesty in your marriage. complete honesty. If you are going to move on, please get a D before you violate your vows. you would want your H to be the same with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 ....but what scares me is i miss a once close friend(i have a thread about him)....i think i might be falling in a trap,the so called emotional affair No not that,i would like him to understand my problem with trusting him. Funny how those that reluctantly trust are often untrustworthy... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author adna89 Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Funny how those that reluctantly trust are often untrustworthy... Mr. Lucky Only because of him am i missing him,,because i feel bad the way my husband behaves..when we are ok the other guy is not even close to my mind Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Only because of him am i missing him,,because i feel bad the way my husband behaves..when we are ok the other guy is not even close to my mind Classic blameshifting. Your husband could be the biggest jerk in the world, and that wouldn't excuse what you're doing. If your H really IS a big jerk, divorce him and keep your integrity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 adna89 what do you REALLY want? I don't actually need you to answer that question here. I need you to think of an answer for yourself. But I want you to really, really think, and ask yourself (as well) why you believe that the state of being with someone - this other man, OR your husband - should make you happy. They don't have that obligation. They are not responsible for that task. You are. If being with your husband, does not bring you a constant level of personal contentment, then why are you with him? (Notice: I did not ask you "If being with your husband, does not MAKE YOU HAPPY, then why are you with him?") Why do you believe that being with this other man, would make things better for you? Are you not simply shifting the dilemma sideways? You think that being with another man will bring you to a 'Happy Ever After' conclusion? Think again. Contentment, happiness, inner serenity and daily calm joy come from you. It's hard work, and it takes time, but only you can do it. The state you seek is not within the power of anyone else to provide for you. But how you find it, is up to you. It's conditional on YOU giving you what you need; not anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Someone is confused here. You are communicating and starting an emotional affair and your husband is the bad guy??????? Maybe you can explain better why he should trust YOU . because you want him to???? If you are married, there is nothnig in your vows that states that you have the right to carry on relationships with any other men other than your husband. And if you cannot accept that do not be married. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I had a terrible night ,my husband and i we had a fight once again about my insecurity things...anyway,he is in an other town right now because of work,so we just hung up on eachother....first time i do not feel the urge to call him back or be crazy over this.....but what scares me is i miss a once close friend(i have a thread about him)....i think i might be falling in a trap,the so called emotional affair my husband does not understand my problems,he does not respect it,and just becomes angry when i mention anything:/ Your husband doesn't need to be understanding when it comes to the other man! Why on earth should he respect it?! Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Do not contact your male friend whatever you do. It would be terribly disrespectful to your H. Link to post Share on other sites
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