MissLilly Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I'm not going to describe my relationship in here or the post will be huge. In my past posts you can see more or less how it was, is, etc. Ok, i was still with him. I said I was because I don't know anymore what's going on. We fixed a lot of stuff and the fights stopped for a good amount of time. We were doing pretty well, and I was preparing to move to his country in more or less 2 weeks from now. Thing is, he had two weeks ago a nervous breakdown because of work. I assume it was work, and his life, bills in there, things with us were ok and we were planning life more than ever. He went to a mental hospital to take care of himself and was in there for one week. Before anybody assume anything else he was there because I could call and talk to him, and I could see it was from the hospital. Right now he is under pills. I don't know how many kinds of pills he's taking because we are barely talking about feelings, he refuses. He is acting very, very different. He was very caring before, and always excited about us, about the future. Since he came back he is avoiding any kind of conversation that places him "under stress" (his words). He is all the time with an "whatever happens" attitude. I was waiting for a paper he sent since last month. Without this paper I can't travel, and the mail delayed very much! It arrived yesterday finally and I got very happy. Thing is I feel he is avoiding me. I asked yesterday when he wanted me to go, when he could pick me there that was best for him... before he used to be nice, excited, all anxious... then I got extremely surprised when he answered "anytime you want" in a very dismissive way. I freaked out today. He is ignoring me, and is acting cold... but not cold, he seems like slow, dumb, uninterested. He's caring more about his car and new computer he got recently. I called him on it, asked why he was so different, so strange, so away... he dismissed and said he was just calmer but someone acting calm only wouldn't really change so much in my point of view. He then accused me that I don't want to see him happy when I was talking nothing about this, only about why he changed so much about me or us together. I can't express myself about this enough... specially in here or this post will be huge. I am very sad, very desperate. I guess I don't want to believe he doesn't love me anymore or he changed. I feel desperate. I already sent billions of txts and he didn't care or replied. I asked him to talk to me and etc. he just says he's calmer, pills are making him this way, blabla, but i don't believe it!!! This man i was talking to today is not my fiancé. I don't even know why I'm writing. I don't have close friends to talk to, maybe that's why. I doubt things. I question myself if I'm overreacting... I just have a huge thing to bet on someone who is not showing support, and what I was about to do, move countries, is a huge thing to do all by myself, without feeling any kind of excitement from him. I'm sorry, I'm not thinking well... I just wanted to ask if it's possible someone changing so fast, so drastically, from nowhere! Is it possible? I'm so lost, I have so much of myself on this that I can't breath in sadness. He's ignoring me pretty bad and went offline from skype and didn't reply any of my txts til now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissLilly Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 I forgot to say... when I asked him to talk saying he was different and didn't seem excited anymore as he was before, from nowhere, he blamed me and said I was inventing all this because I didn't want to go and see him. The biggest bulls&ˆ*& ever!!! I was so freeking happy Now I am so nervous because I have a long night ahead of me. A very long night and I'm terribly depressed. I had terrible times before but never felt so disappointed and sad like right now. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Do both yourselves a favor, and study up on what it's like to have a mental breakdown, what the common treatment methods are, and what the common side effects are of the medications most often used. If you do, you'll understand what's going on instead of making demands and having expectations that are out of line because all you seem to think is important is you-You-YOU. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissLilly Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Ok. I was just asking because I suffer from depression as well, I had my mental breakdowns and also take pills myself. But I never changed, things only got better but my goals were there, stable and strong. That's why I asked. Anyways thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 There's more than one cause of mental illness. And, not everyone tolerates or reacts to medication or treatment in the same way. In fact, oftentimes a lot of trial and error is involved in finding exactly the right treatment which can involve hospitalization, medication, therapy and/or a combination of any or all three. Judging his behavior and mental state by your own is not only stupid and unfair, it's incredibly unhelpful and self-centered. He's had a breakdown -- he's ill. He needs time to recover and get well. You ought to be providing support and understanding. Instead you're putting even more pressure on the guy by being needy, paranoid, and acting like a two-year-old. Instead of focusing on what's wrong with him, perhaps *you* need to see a professional in order to get to the bottom of why you're thinking and feeling the way you are, because it also isn't a normal, mature or healthy reaction. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
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