courtnort Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 I have been engaged since December. We are playing our wedding for october of 2005. All of a sudden amidst looking at churches, flowers, dresses, etc. everything is becoming overwhelming in the relationship. Let me fully explain. My fiance has dated three other women(not including me). One(was his first love), 2nd(dated since high school until last june), and 3rd(sort of a rebound thing). The one thing that keeps continuously playing over and over in my mind is that one of his ex's has a daughter. That was born after they split up. He even spent time with his ex and her daughter. Staying the night, the night feedings, changings, etc. (the ex claims the daughter isnt his). But the fact is....i cant stop thinking that he has more experience than me. That we don't have many "firsts" together. Hopefully that makes sense. I had only had one relationship before him. Maybe I'm wrong thinking this but it just seems like it bothers me because I'm not the first at a lot of things. Especially when it comes to children. If anyone has advice it would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Lolla- Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Was he married before? If not, well then there is YOUR FIRST! Be happy he picked you, is in love with you enough to ask your hand in marriage. There will be plently 1st's together, there is alot of marriage years ahead of you. I would be pretty freaked out though if my guy went to the ex's house for slumber parties and caring for the kid. Why does he do that? He is with you, not her and the kid anymore so why is he keep on going back there? Is the kid his?? Odd to me. In my relationship we never and never will talk about past relationships, he could have been with 2 or 102 women before, I would never know, and do not want to know becaue what does it matter? He is starting a life with me, presently .. forget about past. Are you younger? By you talking about his first love, then high school, I am assuming your around 19-20 years old? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Your Fiancee' doesn't have experience with his OWN child.. regardless if he was with his EX and HER daughter... Seems to me you need to look at this from a different place... You stated that you and Your Fiancee' don't have *Many First's* together however.. YOU are the FIRST Woman he obviously feels he wants to make a life with.. thats a pretty BIG FIRST right? This will be his FIRST wedding (and hopefully his only) If or when the 2 of you decide to have children together.. it will be HIS FIRST child.. If eventually the 2 of you purchase a home.. that will be a FIRST that you do together.. You're just getting started in your lives together... don't allow negative thoughts of what if's regarding his PAST relationships cloud what the 2 of you have RIGHT NOW... A lot of FIRST milestones that are pretty special and important Link to post Share on other sites
followingthru Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 unless you stay with your high school sweetheart, chances are you aren't going to have many firsts with a guy that are firsts for both of you. things happen. hopefully they have made him a better man, who is more mature and ready to handle everything that comes up b/t the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
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