Why is the sports team acting like this?

[Guitarisgood]

After some experience, I've taken on the head role in managing a female soccer team as I play for the male equivalent so could only part manage them. I'm doing my best to assimilate myself into the team but am finding it hard. Obviously my primary role is in injury and well being management as well as mentoring and just general help to the coach. As it's an amateur club I also help adding an extra number running in the drills and likes.

 

Now here is the thing. Most of the girls act rather shy towards me; almost school girl like. Especially when I need to inquire about certain things. The older ones warmed up to me enough that I can relate to them better. I over hear the gossip of my tattoos, 6 pack and even my athletic ability at times or teasing me how I won't compete rough with the girls during drills. Hence I have my thoughts on whats going on but wouldn't mind some input from the LS crew.

 

At the end of the day, I'm here to help the team and to make things run more smoothly. I have a friend who is actually an assistant coach. He is literally on touch and cuddle basis with many of the girls. I know the team is heavily socially and everyone literally goes out together.

 

Thoughts? How do I get the girls to better engage with me? I mean with the male equivalent, I've got no troubles.

[badpenny]

'Gossip' about you tattoos? Six pack? Athletic ability...?

 

Really, you don't get it?

 

This is role-reversal sexism.

 

They're looking at you as some kind of sexual fantasy.

You're a hunk and they can't just consider you a coach.

With your physique, looks and prowess, you're basically getting a taste - and I'm genuinely sorry about this - of what it's like to be a female who for all her value, contribution and hard work, is seen as a bag of legs, boobs and 'athletic prowess'....

 

I'm actually apologetic on their behalf, but there's a certain amount of objectification going on here.

It's not right, and to be honest, it's not acceptable.

 

you say your friend is all cuddly with the ladies he coaches.

 

Now, I don't know if he is in your age-group or older, or has known them longer, or has your build, physique, tattoos, prowess or six-pack.

 

But he's him and you are you.

The manner in which you come across, the way in which you interact, it all counts.

Maybe you're a bit serious and macho.

Maybe you're embarrassed and this comes across as shy.

maybe you're just naive about what women talk about...

 

You need to relax, ignore it, act confidently and frankly tell them in some way or another, to 'grow up'.

 

And for goodness sake, don't rise to the bait regarding innuendo, carefully-veiled lewdness of promiscuity or even open invitations to engage in some "one-on-one training" *nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean?*

[CC12]

Now here is the thing. Most of the girls act rather shy towards me; almost school girl like. Especially when I need to inquire about certain things.

 

Can you elaborate on this? What kinds of questions do you ask that result in them being shy toward with you?

 

You say you're getting along fine with the older team members, so it's just the ones closer to your age or younger that you're trying to bond with. I'm kind of getting the impression that you want to be on a "touch and cuddle basis" with them, or perhaps date some of them. If that's the case, I think your intentions may be misguided. You said your primary roles are in injury and well-being management, mentoring, and helping the coach. You can't be a mentor to someone you're trying to date.

 

Anyway, for one possible explanation as to why they act like that with you: maybe the team has gotten the impression that you are looking at some of them as potential love interests, and maybe some of them are keeping you at arm's length because of it. It's just a theory.

[Guitarisgood]

Thanks badpenny, that is what I was thinking and the more and more I'm working with the team, the more it seems the case! No, my friend to be honest is more the total opposite to me and I understand has spent more time with them and hence probably why he is more closer to the team.

 

No CC12, I came into this venture with the intentions to purely build my career and resume. Not after touch and cuddle but open lines of communication. I guess my initial shy and bumbliness may have been reciprocated as such. I've taken the steps now to open myself more to them i.e. social networking, trying to be more extrovert as such. Questions I ask are purely related to their health and well being on top of sports specific coaching.

 

It's working. The team is warming up to me. But the innuendos and likes still persevere. I guess it's as badpenny said. This must be how females working in a male oriented organisation must feel and work through every day. Another challenge to keep tackle!