NC Journey Begins

[Simon Phoenix]

Yeah, i don't buy it. I feel as if you are going to keep inventing excuses to stay in contact and try to spin it like you have been. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't have much faith in you being able to show restraint and actually go No Contact and stay there and really take steps in your independent healing. You are constantly looking for validation from this woman and I don't see that changing.

 

I literally have read all of these types of justifications from you. It's like a broken record.

[ravfour4]

Let me prove you wrong

[ravfour4]

Long story short - she came back. We've been taking it slow, talking through everything that happened, working through our issues - so far, so good.

[ravfour4]

HA. Time to kick this b*tch out my life for good.

 

It was going overall well like I said, it was a constant up and down roller coaster though, but with overall forward momentum.

 

We've hung out everyday for the past few weeks since she ditched the other guy. We went on dates, ate dinner together, she initiated contact about half the time and I did the other. She'd sleep over, hold my hand, talk about having a baby in the future, going on vacations together etc. but would never kiss me.

 

I went out of my way to show her how I'd changed, buying her lunch/dinner, going to the mall, going to bars I wouldn't normally go too, planning fun romantic things almost everyday. She was honest....until I found out the other guy came over one night trying to get her back and she told him she wanted to give us a sincere try and couldn't talk to him anymore, I forgave her since she sort of begged me too. Recently I found out she texted him after that asking how he was doing - keeping him on the side as Plan B.

 

As soon as we'd get close - holding hands/sleeping over, she'd get cold feet and be all "confused". She'd then apologize, we'd get closer and closer and then would get cold feet again.

 

Today, we went on a romantic moon lit kayak ride. I didn't play it up since we were taking things slow, but it did end up being awesome, but of course...she was acting weird. I just ignored it and tried to have fun, until we got home and she exploded basically having an anxiety attack about it being too "date-like", despite us doing 50 other things like that recently. I drilled her about how much she had hurt me before since she seemed like she was being her vulnerable old self for once, she couldn't handle thinking about it and just kept balling and eventually left.

 

She texted saying she was sorry and I called and the end result was her getting all mad at me for saying "I'll give you space, but I'm skeptical that you won't just go back to that other guy"....

 

Wow. Within the past 2-3 weeks we had some amazing times, but her indecisiveness, fear of getting back together and inability to forgive me for the small mistakes I made during the relationship led to an overall disaster.

 

I'm finally fed up and was thinking of ending whatever this was earlier today anyways, sure I've seen the great side of her again, but I also saw the total **** and the frustration of the constant up and down was clearly becoming not worth it. I'm sure she'll contact me again and unless it's some miraculous I'm sure I want to give this a sincere try now (it won't be), I will not respond.

Edited June 3, 2015 by ravfour4

[Simon Phoenix]

Shocker. I would go double or nothing that you'll get sucked in again. I know I sound like an ass, but your track record isn't great. I mean, she didn't even kiss you? Now do you get why you need to stick to No Contact? Christ dude, you basically gave her a bunch of free sh*t.

Edited June 3, 2015 by Simon Phoenix

[ravfour4]

lol you're right. I got sucked into the BPD forums where people justify women's actions like this constantly, they all said to give her space and time and whatever other BS.

 

She equated kissing to being bf/gf and that with being together forever and was all scared I'd hurt her again or some ****. She just had no one else to go to after she got rid of the married fool and came running back to me for full support since she has no idea who she is as a person on her own, she just defines herself by who she's with. She'll probably go running right back to him now.

 

I stuck with it for a few weeks since it was a lot of fun, she was flirty, I was meeting tons of new people since her job requires her to do a bunch of promos, I had someone to do fun things with everyday etc. and I was like what the hell, I'll go along with it getting all these side benefits and hopefully she just gives in and kisses/bangs me eventually lol it seemed possible considering we were getting closer and closer (started sleeping over etc.), but NOPE.

 

Oh, look at that....I already have a text from her.

Edited June 3, 2015 by ravfour4

[Simon Phoenix]

lol you're right. I got sucked into the BPD forums where people justify women's actions like this constantly, they all said to give her space and time and whatever other BS.

 

She equated kissing to being bf/gf and that with being together forever and was all scared I'd hurt her again or some ****. She just had no one else to go to after she got rid of the married fool and came running back to me for full support since she has no idea who she is as a person on her own, she just defines herself by who she's with. She'll probably go running right back to him now.

 

I stuck with it for a few weeks since it was a lot of fun, she was flirty, I was meeting tons of new people since her job requires her to do a bunch of promos, I had someone to do fun things with everyday etc. and I was like what the hell, I'll go along with it getting all these side benefits and hopefully she just gives in and kisses/bangs me eventually lol it seemed possible considering we were getting closer and closer (started sleeping over etc.), but NOPE.

 

Oh, look at that....I already have a text from her.

 

You continue to make every rookie mistake in the book dude. You can either block her and actually make a move to help yourself, or continue this self-defeating cycle. I'm guessing you'll do the latter and unfortunately, I haven't been wrong yet.

[ravfour4]

Every rookie mistake in regards to moving on? Or in getting her back? Or both?

 

My initial plan/attempts that others doubted did get her to come back. She just came back super confused without ever thinking through everything she did and what she wanted - spiraling us into a weird, frustrating and confusing relationship

[Simon Phoenix]

Every rookie mistake in regards to moving on? Or in getting her back? Or both?

 

My initial plan/attempts that others doubted did get her to come back. She just came back super confused without ever thinking through everything she did and what she wanted - spiraling us into a weird, frustrating and confusing relationship

 

Everything. And she didn't "come back". She used you, and continues to use you, because you're an easy mark. She tugs the leash, you come panting like a neglected puppy. She gives you enough attention to where you continue to lavish her with support and gifts but stops short at giving you love. And it's not because she's "confused" -- it's because she can get the benefits of being your girlfriend without actually having to give you any of the benefits and without having to be your girlfriend. Hanging out with you is fine for her when it's on her terms and stuff she wants, but as soon as you want something, she pulls back. You're basically a landing pad until she decides again that she can do better.

 

You need to stop being delusional -- you haven't gotten anyone back, all you are doing is making things easy for her while she does what she wants. And she's so good at it that you are still in denial about where you're at, which is nowhere. And you'll continue to be in this situation until you get a backbone, actually go No Contact and actually separate yourself completely from the situation for an extended period of time (meaning months).

 

I don't expect you to do any of that, though, so I expect this pattern to continue until she has used up every last bit of you she wants to. Then she'll ditch you completely.

[ravfour4]

As usual, I appreciate your blunt honesty. I don't think she's an insanely intelligent purposefully manipulative person. She told the other guy she still has strong feelings for me and wanted to give us a shot. Why? Because he was getting super needy and pushy and she realized he wasn't so great after all.

I believe that basic sentiment, that logically she wanted us to work, my life "resume" is much better and she did want us to work before, but instead of talking it through and giving it a chance when she should have, she fled the coup and did insane things to avoid feeling hurt.

 

Instead of just going with the flow and seeing how things went, she created this huge pressure to "fall in love" with me again that drove her crazy. She did do nice things for me, she'd make me dinner, clean my place, show up at my work unexpected, plan dates, got my mom a bday card etc. it wasn't all one-sided. She was just too scared to let go and sincerely try, she's afraid I'll hurt her again or that she'll hurt me again and that fear combined with the pressure she felt moved us nowhere. Anytime it got too real, she'd push me away, then she'd pull me right back again the next day and then once things almost went back to dating, she'd push again - crying on and off the entire time.

 

I want it to work, but i doubt it will. She's no longer in love with me and trying to force herself to fall into it again is not going to work. I'm just giving her space now, we hung out everyday for 3 weeks, we had general forward momentum and while 20 percent of it was hell, the other 80 percent was as fun as when we had first met. I miss her right now and if she misses me, she'll be back. If not, it's over.

[Simon Phoenix]

As usual, I appreciate your blunt honesty. I don't think she's an insanely intelligent purposefully manipulative person. She told the other guy she still has strong feelings for me and wanted to give us a shot. Why? Because he was getting super needy and pushy and she realized he wasn't so great after all.

I believe that basic sentiment, that logically she wanted us to work, my life "resume" is much better and she did want us to work before, but instead of talking it through and giving it a chance when she should have, she fled the coup and did insane things to avoid feeling hurt.

 

Instead of just going with the flow and seeing how things went, she created this huge pressure to "fall in love" with me again that drove her crazy. She did do nice things for me, she'd make me dinner, clean my place, show up at my work unexpected, plan dates, got my mom a bday card etc. it wasn't all one-sided. She was just too scared to let go and sincerely try, she's afraid I'll hurt her again or that she'll hurt me again and that fear combined with the pressure she felt moved us nowhere. Anytime it got too real, she'd push me away, then she'd pull me right back again the next day and then once things almost went back to dating, she'd push again - crying on and off the entire time.

 

I want it to work, but i doubt it will. She's no longer in love with me and trying to force herself to fall into it again is not going to work. I'm just giving her space now, we hung out everyday for 3 weeks, we had general forward momentum and while 20 percent of it was hell, the other 80 percent was as fun as when we had first met. I miss her right now and if she misses me, she'll be back. If not, it's over.

 

I don't necessarily think she's an evil mastermind either. However, I do think there are two things.

 

1. She acts on what she wants in a particular moment without any regard to what that could mean down the road: That's why she's hot and cold. She misses your companionship, so she pushes for it. But she realizes that she doesn't want to be your lover, so she pushes away. She wants the friendship aspect of your relationship (which involves stuff like cooking dinners) but she doesn't want the romantic parts of it (kissing, having sex). And because you have no boundaries whatsoever, she can get all of this without feeling too bad about it.

 

2. She does not love you romantically: For as much as she's been back and forth with her actions, she has been remarkably consistent about not wanting to be your girlfriend. She has put you in the friend zone. Her behavior is incredibly consistent for someone who has put someone in the friend zone -- they avoid bumping it to the next level, but they push it to the edge because they enjoy your companionship.

 

And you were an extreme dumbass again for hanging out with her every day for three weeks. That's just stupid dude. You said at the top of the page you were trying to give her space and time like the BPD forums said (why you are reading those is beyond me) yet you hang out with her every day for three weeks? I mean, dude......that's moronic. No one hangs out with someone that they are starting a new relationship with every day for three weeks. And before you retort with "we were restarting an old relationship", why would want to restart an old relationship that didn't succeed? You have to be smarter, because you aren't being anywhere on the planet of smart currently.

 

Also, you are continuing to set yourself up to be played for a fool with your approach. "If she misses me she'll come back" is another foolish thought. She's "missed" you twice and hasn't exactly "come back". She came back to get a companionship fix (because that's what she misses), but she didn't come back to be in a romantic relationship with you. And she won't, because she knows you'll cave way before that. Why? Because you've caved this entire time. You haven't done No Contact for any real length of time. You not only haven't blocked her, but you answer her pretty consistently. There is absolutely no reason for her to resume a romantic relationship with you. None. Why should she give you everything when she can give you the bare minimum and you'll lap it up?

 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result. You're on the third lap of this track yet you don't seem to realize that the scenery is the same every time around.

[ravfour4]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. This time seemed different because she said she wanted to give it a try and when she screwed up by letting that guy come over a couple weeks ago, she sort of begged for me to give her another shot because she really wanted to see if we could work. This was exciting to me, I finally had the power to decide. She kept trying to love me, but that's not how love works, obviously. I think, and could be totally wrong, that she does love me, but her fear and/or pride is preventing her from opening up and preventing her from being in love with me.

 

We hung out everyday for different reasons. She did it because the idea of us working was appealing and she didn't have anyone else to hangout with after ditching the other guy, plus we were doing fun things constantly. I did it because I was loving having her back in my life after I thought she was gone for good and I was too scared to give her space in fear that she'd never come back again. I felt like i was living the dream again, with an occasional bump of total confusion and an occasional bump of utter bliss. The days where I'd want to leave her alone, she'd call me telling me she was on her way over. We were both afraid to be apart.

 

Over the past few days I was getting to the point of saying - ok, this is more pain than it's worth, I'm done. But when she broke down in tears I could tell she still cared, she was acting like the girl I dated for 4 years again with no shield. This made me vulnerable and want to talk to that "real her" and reassure her we could work.

 

If she didn't care at all, she'd be cold and/or neutral. She obviously cares, but not in the way I want or need her to. I asked her if she thought there was a chance for us, because if not, let's just end this. Before, post break up, she said there was zero chance we'd ever get back together. Now, she just says she's confused and wanted it to work but doesn't feel the same way and doesn't know if she ever will and the pressure of it all is driving her insane. She recognizes she needs to focus on herself and get her act together in order to be able to love again and to be able to have any kind of clarity in regards to what to do next.

 

I expected her to call or text today, I miss her a ton right now, but I don't feel so devastated/sad like I did before. Albeit perhaps being a bit too pushy and not creating the distance I know we needed, although neither of us wanted it, I know I did a killer job showing her how I had changed and what we could be like as a couple. If she's too crazy to get her act together or just straight out doesn't want me....I guess that's her loss. I'll find someone who does and it will feel so much better.

[Yummm]

People are not what they seem mate, she can cry as much as she wants, doesn't mean she genuinely wants you back.

 

Many of us have learnt this the hard way, including yourself.

 

Hang tight, we'll get through it!

[Simon Phoenix]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. This time seemed different because she said she wanted to give it a try and when she screwed up by letting that guy come over a couple weeks ago, she sort of begged for me to give her another shot because she really wanted to see if we could work. This was exciting to me, I finally had the power to decide. She kept trying to love me, but that's not how love works, obviously. I think, and could be totally wrong, that she does love me, but her fear and/or pride is preventing her from opening up and preventing her from being in love with me.

 

We hung out everyday for different reasons. She did it because the idea of us working was appealing and she didn't have anyone else to hangout with after ditching the other guy, plus we were doing fun things constantly. I did it because I was loving having her back in my life after I thought she was gone for good and I was too scared to give her space in fear that she'd never come back again. I felt like i was living the dream again, with an occasional bump of total confusion and an occasional bump of utter bliss. The days where I'd want to leave her alone, she'd call me telling me she was on her way over. We were both afraid to be apart.

 

Over the past few days I was getting to the point of saying - ok, this is more pain than it's worth, I'm done. But when she broke down in tears I could tell she still cared, she was acting like the girl I dated for 4 years again with no shield. This made me vulnerable and want to talk to that "real her" and reassure her we could work.

 

If she didn't care at all, she'd be cold and/or neutral. She obviously cares, but not in the way I want or need her to. I asked her if she thought there was a chance for us, because if not, let's just end this. Before, post break up, she said there was zero chance we'd ever get back together. Now, she just says she's confused and wanted it to work but doesn't feel the same way and doesn't know if she ever will and the pressure of it all is driving her insane. She recognizes she needs to focus on herself and get her act together in order to be able to love again and to be able to have any kind of clarity in regards to what to do next.

 

I expected her to call or text today, I miss her a ton right now, but I don't feel so devastated/sad like I did before. Albeit perhaps being a bit too pushy and not creating the distance I know we needed, although neither of us wanted it, I know I did a killer job showing her how I had changed and what we could be like as a couple. If she's too crazy to get her act together or just straight out doesn't want me....I guess that's her loss. I'll find someone who does and it will feel so much better.

 

Literally everything you typed applies to this part of my last post, especially the bolded.

 

1. She acts on what she wants in a particular moment without any regard to what that could mean down the road: That's why she's hot and cold. She misses your companionship, so she pushes for it. But she realizes that she doesn't want to be your lover, so she pushes away. She wants the friendship aspect of your relationship (which involves stuff like cooking dinners) but she doesn't want the romantic parts of it (kissing, having sex). And because you have no boundaries whatsoever, she can get all of this without feeling too bad about it.

 

And the fact that you were "afraid" to take a day off from her is telling. Instead of letting whatever positive vibe you had continue to grow organically, you continued to force it. And that's one reason why she vacillates from being comfortable with you (as a friend and someone she cares about in a friendly way) and being uncomfortable (because you are trying to force a relationship she doesn't want). And she's crying because she wants to keep your companionship as a friend. Just because she's crying does not mean she wants to be your girlfriend. She's made that clear. She wants to have the friend companionship and bond without the romantic aspect. You aren't capable of this (nor would any person in your position). But for whatever reason you keep trying to force this round peg into a square hole.

 

You and her need to be away from each other. You need to be away from her because you can't handle the ups and downs (which is fine, the vast majority of people wouldn't) and she needs to be away from you to be on her own and realize what she actually wants.

 

I think your ex is a vine-swinger in that she goes from one relationship to the next because she'd rather have some soft of safety net than be alone. She'd rather be in a pseudo-fake relationship with you than be on her own, and you accommodate this because you are afraid to really stand up to her and give her the space (true space) that is necessary. The only complication in her mind is your insistence on making it romantic, which she has explained several times that she doesn't want. However, she does want the bonding with you (partially because she likes you as a friend, partially because she likes the security that comes from the fact that she knows that you'll do whatever because you are hooked) therefore she'll vascillate enough to keep you around for that purpose.

 

Either way, there is no chance that you can be with her at this point and there's no chance she can be with you. And that will never change if you keep folding like wet cardboard every time she sends anything your way. You need to stop prolonging this breakup, accept that the previous relationship is over and be separated and out of contact while both of you figure out what's up. Right now she's playing you like a yo-yo (intentionally at times, unintentionally at others), but she's nowhere close to all-in. And unless she's all-in, you aren't in the state to be in communication with her, much less hanging out with her.

Edited June 4, 2015 by Simon Phoenix

[ravfour4]

Excellent reply Simon. I agree with every word, especially the she's nowhere all in, the vine swinger portion and the understanding that I wasn't ready for what I signed up for.

 

We were supposed to go to a baseball game on Friday, but I will not be asking to do that unless she reaches out and forcefully invites me (unlikely, although I really have no idea what she's thinking right now) and if I do go, I will be a straight up friend (no flirting, no hand holding, no arm around her). I know - I shouldn't go regardless, I probably won't.

 

I also don't think she's capable of being on her own right now, she's likely with that fool again or at least in contact with him. I have no faith that she's strong enough to actually work through her thoughts on her own. I was suspicious they hung out a couple days ago and I was almost always right before, I'm sure I'm right again.

Edited June 4, 2015 by ravfour4

[Simon Phoenix]

We were supposed to go to a baseball game on Friday, but I will not be asking to do that unless she reaches out and forcefully invites me (unlikely, although I really have no idea what she's thinking right now) and if I do go, I will be a straight up friend (no flirting, no hand holding, no arm around her). I know - I shouldn't go regardless, I probably won't.

 

 

Seriously dude, that's a rotten idea. Horrible. Stop making up excuses to sabotage your own recovery and prolong this. You aren't capable of being a real "friend" so stop trying. You're basically the guy who took one boxing class and thinks he's ready to fight Floyd Mayweather when you say crap like that.

 

I also don't think she's capable of being on her own right now, she's likely with that fool again or at least in contact with him. I have no faith that she's strong enough to actually work through her thoughts on her own. I was suspicious they hung out a couple days ago and I was almost always right before, I'm sure I'm right again.

 

You're probably right. But let him be the one used, not you. Plus, if she's that willing to jump back to him, she wasn't very into being with you, was she?

 

Either way, there's only one solution -- stay out of all contact.

Edited June 4, 2015 by Simon Phoenix

[Thecondor1991]

Man I'm sorry to hear about that, when it rains it pours it seems. When you have a bad thing happen it just seems like a string of terrible events just follow suit.

[ravfour4]

Lol at that Michael Scott video. Idk if I need to go NC for sure, I feel overall fine, just liked having her in my life. Don't necessarily want her back as a gf anymore and I'm sort of used to seeing her with this other guy by this point. M

 

I just to push away a few notches further to stop caring when she does this up down bs

[Simon Phoenix]

Lol at that Michael Scott video. Idk if I need to go NC for sure, I feel overall fine, just liked having her in my life. Don't necessarily want her back as a gf anymore and I'm sort of used to seeing her with this other guy by this point. M

 

I just to push away a few notches further to stop caring when she does this up down bs

 

And there you go, repeating history again. This is literally the exact same thing you've said the last couple times. You need to go NC because you can't be her friend. You are using being her "friend" to try to make her your girlfriend and she is using being your "friend" to get support and attention without having to give you physical affection. That's not a dynamic that will change if you stay in contact. I mean seriously, what the hell?

 

Stop saying the same crap and making the same mistakes. This is literally the exact same way you have responded the other times. Take No Contact of a few months just to get a break from the situation if nothing else. Then, after that, maybe you can actually be friends. And maybe you won't want to.

 

I don't know if you are stubborn, oblivious, or just plain obtuse at this point.

[ravfour4]

I was fine with the way things were going and we both wanted to hang out everyday. I wasn't trying to rush it, she was typically the one to push it closer to a relationship and she's the one who all of a sudden broke down and couldn't handle it. It being the pressure she felt that if she didn't love me, I couldn't be in her life.

[Simon Phoenix]

I was fine with the way things were going and we both wanted to hang out everyday. I wasn't trying to rush it, she was typically the one to push it closer to a relationship and she's the one who all of a sudden broke down and couldn't handle it. It being the pressure she felt that if she didn't love me, I couldn't be in her life.

 

No matter how you spin it -- and you love to spin it -- the point remains that you two are not capable of having a friendship right now. I don't understand why you keep trying to jam this square peg into a round hole.

[ravfour4]

Well, you were right again as were my intuitions about what she was doing.

 

I called her late Thursday after her request for space, expecting and in a way hoping that she wouldn't answer, but she did. She was excited to hear from me, told me she was happy I called and that she was about to call me and wanted to know if I still wanted to come to the baseball game w/ her coworkers. I said sure. She then told me all about her day at work and actually listened to me talk about mine. Told her I'd pick her up the next day. The plan was to just be her friend, stay distant and not let her crazy emotional state affect mine.

 

Overall, the game was great. Her co-workers were awesome and they all thought I was her bf, I felt like it was going well and I was keeping my distance. Then we started getting drunk and were grinding on the dance floor with some other couples.

 

I saw her texting/calling someone so I called her out on it, only to be told she's back with that guy and that he "loves her more". All of a sudden all those things she hated about him were gone. It evolved into an hour long drunken intense battle, her trying to give me her necklace back, telling me that chump knew about us going to the game together and drinking and was totally fine with it (even though before he threw a fit about us just having dinner) - aka he's just doing any and everything to get her back. Found out he moved out of his house w/ wife and kids a few days ago - exactly when she started acting all distant/crazy. I left saying we'd never talk again after a bunch of hugs and her telling me how I'll find someone so much better who isn't insane.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well, you were right again as were my intuitions about what she was doing.

 

I called her late Thursday after her request for space, expecting and in a way hoping that she wouldn't answer, but she did. She was excited to hear from me, told me she was happy I called and that she was about to call me and wanted to know if I still wanted to come to the baseball game w/ her coworkers. I said sure. She then told me all about her day at work and actually listened to me talk about mine. Told her I'd pick her up the next day. The plan was to just be her friend, stay distant and not let her crazy emotional state affect mine.

 

Overall, the game was great. Her co-workers were awesome and they all thought I was her bf, I felt like it was going well and I was keeping my distance. Then we started getting drunk and were grinding on the dance floor with some other couples.

 

I saw her texting/calling someone so I called her out on it, only to be told she's back with that guy and that he "loves her more". All of a sudden all those things she hated about him were gone. It evolved into an hour long drunken intense battle, her trying to give me her necklace back, telling me that chump knew about us going to the game together and drinking and was totally fine with it (even though before he threw a fit about us just having dinner) - aka he's just doing any and everything to get her back. Found out he moved out of his house w/ wife and kids a few days ago - exactly when she started acting all distant/crazy. I left saying we'd never talk again after a bunch of hugs and her telling me how I'll find someone so much better who isn't insane.

 

I mean, she's got problems, but you did exactly the wrong thing again. You called her up (even though she asked for space -- do you even know what "space" means? Everytime she asks for it, you push) and hung out with her and tried to play like you're her "friend", then get upset when she's texting the other guy even though you aren't dating? If you were truly her "friend" then why were you getting on her talking to the other guy? "Friends" wouldn't do that. She can talk to whoever she wants and you have no say in it. Stop meddling.

 

You share a lot of the blame in this because you don't listen and you keep poking at her. You keep trying to use friendship as a manipulative tool to try to get your way despite advice and ample evidence that you shouldn't. I mean, it's like you are literally going out of your way to act like the most foolish manner possible.

 

I mean, at this point I don't know what to say to you. You literally do everything you aren't supposed to do then you act surprised when it doesn't go your way.

 

Leave her alone, get your sh*t together. You keep trying to find loopholes around that advice and you keep failing. And I know you're going to say "Well, now I don't think I want to be with her and yada yada yada" yet you're going to fall in this same cycle again. Guaranteed.

 

Stop being a fool dude. It's not a good look. Everything that happened last night was a result of you pushing. Why the f--k are you pushing? Stop.

Edited June 6, 2015 by Simon Phoenix

[ravfour4]

I can't deny what you said Simon.

 

I will say that the reason I got mad is because a few weeks ago she came back to me saying she was never going back to him, that she would be honest and wanted to give us a shot and wouldn't hurt me again. When things started getting bad, I asked if he was back in the picture and she lied about it to my face, just like she did after the initial break up. When she said she needed space, I asked again and once again she lied to my face. I need space was code for "I don't love you, I'm going back to the other guy, but I'm too afraid & weak to say it". If we had reconnected as "let's be friends even tho you have a bf" then I obviously would have had no reason to be mad, but yes I pushed her away as a friend. I couldn't handle it.

[Simon Phoenix]

I can't deny what you said Simon.

 

I will say that the reason I got mad is because a few weeks ago she came back to me saying she was never going back to him, that she would be honest and wanted to give us a shot and wouldn't hurt me again. When things started getting bad, I asked if he was back in the picture and she lied about it to my face, just like she did after the initial break up. When she said she needed space, I asked again and once again she lied to my face. I need space was code for "I don't love you, I'm going back to the other guy, but I'm too afraid & weak to say it". If we had reconnected as "let's be friends even tho you have a bf" then I obviously would have had no reason to be mad, but yes I pushed her away as a friend. I couldn't handle it.

 

Doesn't matter, it's her life. Now for the 47th time, STAY AWAY!