NC Journey Begins

[Lizrd3000]

I was fine with the way things were going and we both wanted to hang out everyday. I wasn't trying to rush it, she was typically the one to push it closer to a relationship and she's the one who all of a sudden broke down and couldn't handle it. It being the pressure she felt that if she didn't love me, I couldn't be in her life.

 

Dude, are you stupid?

 

I'm sorry, but it had to be said.

 

Obviously she's going to act like she wants a relationship.

 

If you push her away, she has to rail you back in with some affection, because she knows you're a sucker for affection. Once she railed you back up like a pathetic little human dog, she disregards you, as she has gotten what she wanted, which is validation and kept plan B in case she's lonely someday, which might very much never be the case.

 

Right now, you're really REALLY weak mentally, and you should just put some (ALOT) of space between you and her. You need to gain some different perspective on the **** you're in right now. This isn't healthy.

 

You're basically tearing up a wound with a knive over and over again, expecting that maybe next time around it wont hurt you, and in fact even have some positive changes on you.

 

Listen to the advice Simon has given you, he's almost always, if not always, spot on on the advice he gives away.

 

 

Sorry about insulting you, it's true though.

[ravfour4]

It's all good Lizrd, I can take it

 

We just talked on the phone for 40 min and I plan for that to be the last time we ever talk.

 

We mainly just said that last night was insane, that it sucks we didn't work out but that the 4 years we were together was great and that we have to be done for good now. We both wished we could be friends, but we can't.

 

I asked her why she ever came back to me if she knew she wanted to be with this other person - she said she wanted to give it a shot and wasn't sure what would happen. Asked her what her plan was if I hadn't called her out on her BS last night - just keep leading me on and acting like it may work? She said she had no plan. Both acknowledged we can't talk or hang out moving forward although we want to. Apparently I tore her up last night, calling her a huge bitch many times - barely remember since we were pretty wasted.

 

She said I was a great person and she knows I'll meet someone who is a better fit for me and not so crazy/unstable. We wished each other the best and that was that. Overall a positive call and a positive note to end on.

 

Back to NC - making the thread title once again relevant.

 

Also, quick disclaimer - do not go to BPD forums - I joined one since I thought it'd help me deal with her madness, but everyone on those forums is in a similar situation to me - which made it seem more normal/acceptable.

[Lizrd3000]

It's all good Lizrd, I can take it

 

We just talked on the phone for 40 min and I plan for that to be the last time we ever talk.

 

We mainly just said that last night was insane, that it sucks we didn't work out but that the 4 years we were together was great and that we have to be done for good now. We both wished we could be friends, but we can't.

 

I asked her why she ever came back to me if she knew she wanted to be with this other person - she said she wanted to give it a shot and wasn't sure what would happen. Asked her what her plan was if I hadn't called her out on her BS last night - just keep leading me on and acting like it may work? She said she had no plan. Both acknowledged we can't talk or hang out moving forward although we want to. Apparently I tore her up last night, calling her a huge bitch many times - barely remember since we were pretty wasted.

 

She said I was a great person and she knows I'll meet someone who is a better fit for me and not so crazy/unstable. We wished each other the best and that was that. Overall a positive call and a positive note to end on.

 

Back to NC - making the thread title once again relevant.

 

Also, quick disclaimer - do not go to BPD forums - I joined one since I thought it'd help me deal with her madness, but everyone on those forums is in a similar situation to me - which made it seem more normal/acceptable.

 

NC is not no contact for a few days, then test the waters to see if she wants me back yet. So just stay NC forever.

 

You really don't want a bat**** crazy chick like this. Get some confidence in yourself so you can see that you deserve way better. Do things for yourself man. You don't need another person to make you feel whole and content.

 

Btw, you say she's BPD, but you stayed with her for 4 years. This tells me something is wrong with you too. You're obviously way too dependent.

 

You have to reflect on yourself too. Figure out why you act(ed) the way you did/do, and fix yourself.

Figure out what makes you happy outside of toxic relationships in your life, and pursue that happiness.

 

You don't need this chick man, lmao.

[Simon Phoenix]

It's all good Lizrd, I can take it

 

We just talked on the phone for 40 min and I plan for that to be the last time we ever talk.

 

We mainly just said that last night was insane, that it sucks we didn't work out but that the 4 years we were together was great and that we have to be done for good now. We both wished we could be friends, but we can't.

 

I asked her why she ever came back to me if she knew she wanted to be with this other person - she said she wanted to give it a shot and wasn't sure what would happen. Asked her what her plan was if I hadn't called her out on her BS last night - just keep leading me on and acting like it may work? She said she had no plan. Both acknowledged we can't talk or hang out moving forward although we want to. Apparently I tore her up last night, calling her a huge bitch many times - barely remember since we were pretty wasted.

 

She said I was a great person and she knows I'll meet someone who is a better fit for me and not so crazy/unstable. We wished each other the best and that was that. Overall a positive call and a positive note to end on.

 

Back to NC - making the thread title once again relevant.

 

Also, quick disclaimer - do not go to BPD forums - I joined one since I thought it'd help me deal with her madness, but everyone on those forums is in a similar situation to me - which made it seem more normal/acceptable.

 

Dude, really? Another conversation? I think there are a few more rotations on this merry-go-round to go.

 

As for the BPD thing, I have no idea why you went there. Your ex isn't bipolar -- she's just young, immature and flighty like a lot of women her age. I think you were looking for any straw you could find to confirm what you wanted to do, which was to keep circling around her and staying in contact, so you pretended she was bipolar.

[ravfour4]

@Lzrd - I agree, I don't need her or her ****. I knew that before, but with everything that happened, mainly my dad passing I feel like I clinged onto her for all she was worth. I couldn't imagine losing my two favorite people. I did everything I could to get her back, even if that meant sacrificing my pride and putting up with a lot of ****.

 

@Simon - I wanted it to end positive rather than with a drunken argument, I guess it wouldn't have really mattered either way, but I feel a bit better about it now. Essentially this is break-up #3 (the first real one, when she came back saying she wanted to give it a chance but never did and then now) and at least after this one I have a handful of good memories and a positive good bye where if I ever saw her years down the line, I could just say hi rather than be fueled by anger/love.

 

I don't think she's bipolar. BPD = borderline personality disorder, she has a lot of the traits (black/white thinking, constant strong fluctuating emotions that dictate her actions rather than logic, inability to say why she feels the way she does, huge fear of being alone - hence continually flip flopping btwn me and this guy and never spending a single day alone).

 

I also agree that it's hard to take her seriously and she very well may try to come back again. She keeps flip flopping between us like nothing - a week ago she was sleeping in my bed and cuddling me. The week before that she was telling this other guy they could never be together because of X, Y and Z. Now she's back with him and once again wants nothing to do with me. Could easily switch again in a week if that dude makes one mistake lol. I'm glad he can deal with that constant stress for now.

[Lizrd3000]

Dude, really? Another conversation? I think there are a few more rotations on this merry-go-round to go.

 

As for the BPD thing, I have no idea why you went there. Your ex isn't bipolar -- she's just young, immature and flighty like a lot of women her age. I think you were looking for any straw you could find to confirm what you wanted to do, which was to keep circling around her and staying in contact, so you pretended she was bipolar.

I think he's referring to Borderline Personality Disorder, which is probably not the case either. I agree with Simon, girls my age (20) are the same as the way you're describing your ex.

[Lizrd3000]

@Lzrd - I agree, I don't need her or her ****. I knew that before, but with everything that happened, mainly my dad passing I feel like I clinged onto her for all she was worth. I couldn't imagine losing my two favorite people. I did everything I could to get her back, even if that meant sacrificing my pride and putting up with a lot of ****.

 

@Simon - I wanted it to end positive rather than with a drunken argument, I guess it wouldn't have really mattered either way, but I feel a bit better about it now. Essentially this is break-up #3 (the first real one, when she came back saying she wanted to give it a chance but never did and then now) and at least after this one I have a handful of good memories and a positive good bye where if I ever saw her years down the line, I could just say hi rather than be fueled by anger/love.

 

I don't think she's bipolar. BPD = borderline personality disorder, she has a lot of the traits (black/white thinking, constant strong fluctuating emotions that dictate her actions rather than logic, inability to say why she feels the way she does, huge fear of being alone - hence continually flip flopping btwn me and this guy and never spending a single day alone).

 

I also agree that it's hard to take her seriously and she very well may try to come back again. She keeps flip flopping between us like nothing - a week ago she was sleeping in my bed and cuddling me. The week before that she was telling this other guy they could never be together because of X, Y and Z. Now she's back with him and once again wants nothing to do with me. Could easily switch again in a week if that dude makes one mistake lol. I'm glad he can deal with that constant stress for now.

Children only think in black and white too, untill they become wiser due to life happening to them. Your ex might be stuck in that black and white thinking because she haven't really gotten to experience life and become wiser. Doesn't make her BPD bro.

 

I used to do the exact same thing your doing. I used to think my ex was narccistic, then I thought she was BPD. then I realized what I was doing wasn't helping me at all, so I quit this non-productive way of thinking, and just kept it at what she was diagnosed with, which was ADD.

[Simon Phoenix]

I think he's referring to Borderline Personality Disorder, which is probably not the case either. I agree with Simon, girls my age (20) are the same as the way you're describing your ex.

 

My bad. Either way, she doesn't have a psychological disorder, she's young and immature.

[Simon Phoenix]

@Lzrd - I agree, I don't need her or her ****. I knew that before, but with everything that happened, mainly my dad passing I feel like I clinged onto her for all she was worth. I couldn't imagine losing my two favorite people. I did everything I could to get her back, even if that meant sacrificing my pride and putting up with a lot of ****.

 

@Simon - I wanted it to end positive rather than with a drunken argument, I guess it wouldn't have really mattered either way, but I feel a bit better about it now. Essentially this is break-up #3 (the first real one, when she came back saying she wanted to give it a chance but never did and then now) and at least after this one I have a handful of good memories and a positive good bye where if I ever saw her years down the line, I could just say hi rather than be fueled by anger/love.

 

I don't think she's bipolar. BPD = borderline personality disorder, she has a lot of the traits (black/white thinking, constant strong fluctuating emotions that dictate her actions rather than logic, inability to say why she feels the way she does, huge fear of being alone - hence continually flip flopping btwn me and this guy and never spending a single day alone).

 

I also agree that it's hard to take her seriously and she very well may try to come back again. She keeps flip flopping between us like nothing - a week ago she was sleeping in my bed and cuddling me. The week before that she was telling this other guy they could never be together because of X, Y and Z. Now she's back with him and once again wants nothing to do with me. Could easily switch again in a week if that dude makes one mistake lol. I'm glad he can deal with that constant stress for now.

 

First of all, the "positive" ending is a bunch of crap. Most things end badly. If they didn't, they wouldn't end. I think it's another one of your ploys. And she can flip-flop because you don't have the good sense or self-respect to not allow it. If she flips again you'll be hooked again because you have no backbone.

[Lizrd3000]

First of all, the "positive" ending is a bunch of crap. Most things end badly. If they didn't, they wouldn't end. I think it's another one of your ploys. And she can flip-flop because you don't have the good sense or self-respect to not allow it. If she flips again you'll be hooked again because you have no backbone.

 

This.

You should stop wanting to be used over and over again.

It's not working, neither is it very attractive in the eyes of your ex.

Also, it makes me cringe. Pls don't do this to me.

 

You're saying you're done talking to her, but I can just FEEL you're going to contact her again, or respond to her texts. She's got you around her finger man, it's way too apparent.

 

You owe it to yourself to go NC. Show your ex you've got some bone in that back of yours, but most importantly, to yourself. Once you realize you can live without her, it all becomes way easier.

[The Poster]

This happened with my first ex. We dated and were madly in love for almost two years. Things went south and she ended it. I still wanted her and for two months we were in this weird friendship dance where there was a lot of confusion and I put an end to it and went strict no contact. Two weeks later she came running to get back together. We took it slow. A week or so later and we were at each other's throats again. Then it ended for good.

 

Reconciliation is always possible in most cases, but it can ONLY be successful when their is serious time away from each other. That includes no speaking and no hanging out.

 

You seem to have the right idea, but terrible execution. It happens. Everyone here knows its brutally hard. You have to dig deep. Cut her off for good and start the process of moving on. Let her know if you have to. If your paths cross somewhere down the road, then reevaluate, but right now you are only causing yourself suffering.

 

Good luck man.

[ravfour4]

Thanks all. I re-read my old posts on here and realize that I have been quite foolish, not that I didn't know the entire time, you can see I'm logical, but sometimes when I get off of LS I let the urge to contact her build up until I just do it and get that temporary relief. The whole "let's get back together, JK" thing happening twice certainly only prolonged my healing.

 

In preparing for my Dad's 2nd celebration of life in his hometown later this week, I realized the video I made was on my ex's comp...sunuva B! I called her to let her know I needed it sometime this week and she told me I could come over in an hour.

 

While I was there I stayed emotionless, asked a few questions and explained how frustrating this had been for me and how she keeps flip flopping like crazy. We walked the dog while the DVD burned, it was awkward, she was back in her "I don't like you, I like him" stage again. Ended it with a "I still like you, maybe we can be friends way in the future, but we definitely need space and no contact right now. I'll be here for you if you need it". She smiled, perhaps laughing at what a fool I was being, more likely enjoying the compliments and still trying to keep me as Plan B "just in case" - earlier I mentioned what she was doing with this other guy had a small chance of working out she just so blind to what she was doing. She's been a confused emotional mess since we broke up.

 

Yes, tear me up, call me a chump for being nice to her. I did it for a few reasons, 1) so it would be hard for her to hate me moving forward (who cares I guess?) 2) so I ended on a respectful non-hateful note (yeah, I know, it doesn't really matter) and 3) to mess with her BPDness and fear of abandonment.

 

It's funny looking back, there have been multiple times where I thought this was "it", the final time we'd talk, she'd say we were 100% over and she was sure she needed the other guy - but she just keeps coming back.

 

Simon, I think you're right that there may be more recycles if I allow them, all it will take is for that guy to not be perfect for a few days, unless she can find another guy to replace me in the love triangle she loves to keep.

[Simon Phoenix]

Jesus dude, you really are incapable of getting out of your own way aren't you? And she doesn't have Borderline Personality Disorder.

[Lizrd3000]

Thanks all. I re-read my old posts on here and realize that I have been quite foolish, not that I didn't know the entire time, you can see I'm logical, but sometimes when I get off of LS I let the urge to contact her build up until I just do it and get that temporary relief. The whole "let's get back together, JK" thing happening twice certainly only prolonged my healing.

 

In preparing for my Dad's 2nd celebration of life in his hometown later this week, I realized the video I made was on my ex's comp...sunuva B! I called her to let her know I needed it sometime this week and she told me I could come over in an hour.

 

While I was there I stayed emotionless, asked a few questions and explained how frustrating this had been for me and how she keeps flip flopping like crazy. We walked the dog while the DVD burned, it was awkward, she was back in her "I don't like you, I like him" stage again. Ended it with a "I still like you, maybe we can be friends way in the future, but we definitely need space and no contact right now. I'll be here for you if you need it". She smiled, perhaps laughing at what a fool I was being, more likely enjoying the compliments and still trying to keep me as Plan B "just in case" - earlier I mentioned what she was doing with this other guy had a small chance of working out she just so blind to what she was doing. She's been a confused emotional mess since we broke up.

 

Yes, tear me up, call me a chump for being nice to her. I did it for a few reasons, 1) so it would be hard for her to hate me moving forward (who cares I guess?) 2) so I ended on a respectful non-hateful note (yeah, I know, it doesn't really matter) and 3) to mess with her BPDness and fear of abandonment.

 

It's funny looking back, there have been multiple times where I thought this was "it", the final time we'd talk, she'd say we were 100% over and she was sure she needed the other guy - but she just keeps coming back.

 

Simon, I think you're right that there may be more recycles if I allow them, all it will take is for that guy to not be perfect for a few days, unless she can find another guy to replace me in the love triangle she loves to keep.

I doubt she's BPD. That being said, why do you still pursue her if she has BPD? I know it sounds harsh, but BPDers are just so sh*tty at relationships. You don't want a relationship with her, ESPECIALLY if she's undiagnosed.

Then again, I think she's young and immature, not BPD.

 

Let her go. Also, you don't say ''this will be the last time we talk'', you just actively MAKE it the last time you talk. You just never contact her again.

 

It's hard, but you HAVE to do it. You can't NOT do it. You just can't.

Unless you want to miserable ofcourse.

[ravfour4]

Idk she had a super traumatic child hood and a ton of the symptoms of BPD. All of this insane whirlwind started after she quit smoking and quit her anti-anxiety med too. It all lines up with BPD - BPD is basically when an adult never gets past the black/white thinking of a child since they don't develop emotionally well.

 

Maybe she's just super immature, either way, she's clearly afraid of being abandoned - as am I or I wouldn't be acting this way. If she was mature and had her **** together, she wouldn't have left our 4 year relationship, go straight to him, come back, go back, come back, go back and not take a single day to herself.

[Lizrd3000]

Idk she had a super traumatic child hood and a ton of the symptoms of BPD. All of this insane whirlwind started after she quit smoking and quit her anti-anxiety med too. It all lines up with BPD - BPD is basically when an adult never gets past the black/white thinking of a child since they don't develop emotionally well.

 

Maybe she's just super immature, either way, she's clearly afraid of being abandoned - as am I or I wouldn't be acting this way. If she was mature and had her **** together, she wouldn't have left our 4 year relationship, go straight to him, come back, go back, come back, go back and not take a single day to herself.

 

EVERYONE thinks black and white sometimes, especially if they're not as experienced in life as others. ''Adult'' is just a word we use for individuals that are responsible for themselves, which is 18+ in my country. Your ex is not an adult. She's obviously very immature and needs to figure out what life is all about. Which is okay, everyone needs to, and at their own tempo.

 

What you should do, is cut her out of your life, and stop letting her chaotic and unreliable behaviour affect you. You should know by now that this is the best way to go. There is no more hope on the path you're currently on. Only hurt.

 

I think you'll officially be a fool if you continue the way you're going right now, instead of listening to the advice given here.

 

It doesn't matter if she was BPD or not, it's the past. You should reflect on why you got attracted to this person, and avoid making the same mistakes in the future. That's ALL you need to analyze about her. You have to analyze what you did wrong, and look to fix those problems.

 

Stop obsessing about something that is over and you can not change.

Becuase you really can't change the outcome of this, especially not by pining and obsessing over her.

 

Do things that are good for you. Improve yourself. v.2.0 - a version that'll make your ex regret that she didn't choose you as her #1.

But most importantly, a version that you want to be, and makes you feel better.

 

You'll be fine after a while of NC.

[ravfour4]

I'm going to make a list of the terrible things she did to reference later:

 

-Broke up with me when I needed her the most. Instead of being there for me, she was with some other guy. Blamed me for the entire break-up, basically told me I was a terrible person and that our relationship was crap.

 

-Lied to me constantly about being with this other guy. Right to my face. I was smart and knew exactly what was going on, I would say "the only thing that makes sense is you're doing X" and she'd look me in the eyes and lie despite me giving her an easy opportunity to come clean. Secretly called him from our back room, would text him in front of me, probably had him over a few times when I was out of town. Called him on my birthday in front of me, a week after the break-up, after ditching me on my birthday and coming home black out wasted and holding my hand in bed.

 

-Told me she still loved me and wanted to go on a date. Told me she'd end things with the other guy - she didn't, she just told him we were going on a date. Both a bitch move to me and him. Then she calls off the date, blames me for everything again after his desperate attempts to stop her.

 

-A week later, comes over to my place, makes fun of the other guy and ignores his calls in front of me (bitch move). Then has them delete each other's numbers and says she wants to give us a chance. She never actually does anything to regain my trust and she continues to respond to him after saying they shouldn't talk.

 

-Acts nice with an undertone of awkward with me. Brings me dinner at work one day, is super nice, then acts all confused, leaves, texts me sorry and then I catch this other dude at her place that same night. She lies about it and supposedly has the other guy over just to tell him she needs to give me a chance and they can't talk anymore or be friends (could all be lies). Again a double bitch move.

 

-Keeps me on a rollercoaster. One minute, holding my hand, sleeping over, talking about babies. The next minute, cold, distant, confused and crying. Apologizes then repeats the pattern a few days later. Lies about the reasons behind the confusion.

 

-Tells me she needs space to think about us and feels too much pressure. Tells me the other guy isn't involved and she hasn't talked to him. He was and she did, she lied again.

 

-Invites me to a baseball game, texts and calls him the entire time, 2 days after telling me she needed space and that it had nothing to do with him.

 

 

 

Chronic evil liar.

[DexterLS]

I'm going to make a list of the terrible things she did to reference later:

 

-Broke up with me when I needed her the most. Instead of being there for me, she was with some other guy. Blamed me for the entire break-up, basically told me I was a terrible person and that our relationship was crap.

 

-Lied to me constantly about being with this other guy. Right to my face. I was smart and knew exactly what was going on, I would say "the only thing that makes sense is you're doing X" and she'd look me in the eyes and lie despite me giving her an easy opportunity to come clean. Secretly called him from our back room, would text him in front of me, probably had him over a few times when I was out of town. Called him on my birthday in front of me, a week after the break-up, after ditching me on my birthday and coming home black out wasted and holding my hand in bed.

 

-Told me she still loved me and wanted to go on a date. Told me she'd end things with the other guy - she didn't, she just told him we were going on a date. Both a bitch move to me and him. Then she calls off the date, blames me for everything again after his desperate attempts to stop her.

 

-A week later, comes over to my place, makes fun of the other guy and ignores his calls in front of me (bitch move). Then has them delete each other's numbers and says she wants to give us a chance. She never actually does anything to regain my trust and she continues to respond to him after saying they shouldn't talk.

 

-Acts nice with an undertone of awkward with me. Brings me dinner at work one day, is super nice, then acts all confused, leaves, texts me sorry and then I catch this other dude at her place that same night. She lies about it and supposedly has the other guy over just to tell him she needs to give me a chance and they can't talk anymore or be friends (could all be lies). Again a double bitch move.

 

-Keeps me on a rollercoaster. One minute, holding my hand, sleeping over, talking about babies. The next minute, cold, distant, confused and crying. Apologizes then repeats the pattern a few days later. Lies about the reasons behind the confusion.

 

-Tells me she needs space to think about us and feels too much pressure. Tells me the other guy isn't involved and she hasn't talked to him. He was and she did, she lied again.

 

-Invites me to a baseball game, texts and calls him the entire time, 2 days after telling me she needed space and that it had nothing to do with him.

 

 

 

Chronic evil liar.

 

Yep. She is not someone you want to be with for the rest of your life. Stick with NC and you will be fine.

[ravfour4]

We texted very very briefly yesterday. This morning I sent her a text and she didn't respond and I feel......surprisingly....great!

 

I'm finally climbing out of the abyss guys. I finally hit that stupid stupid point where I know I've done all that I can, where I know reaching out to her will do NOTHING and I'm content. I just needed someone to cut me off of the "drug" instead of giving me constant access to the sweet and destructive high.

 

I was also reading another person's relationship post and was reminded of how our relationship actually ended the first time. I was frustrated as hell with her for months, she started talking about breaking up and a part of me wanted it, and when she brought up the idea of actually doing it, I essentially said fine let's do it and went and changed my FB status right away. I wanted it. I was ready for it. I knew it was the right thing. I knew I could find someone better.

 

My dad passing away (not to blame it all on that, I must take responsibility for my actions) triggered something in me where I felt that I needed her again, even though a month prior I was excited about the break-up and had been really hoping someone new would enter my life to save me from the hell I was living in. Hence the insanity you have all followed

 

With this 1 day of not talking, I can see how calm and content I feel relative to how annoyingly frustrating it was to be around her those past 3 weeks. They weren't as great as I made them out to be, there were so many moments where I was pulling teeth and her actions were a constant up and down rollercoaster, I was constantly tense and on edge. She was confused as hell and it was not fun to be around.

 

Went to a rap show last night by myself - was happier than I've been in months and danced with a few fine women. I'm sure I'll have a bad day here and there, but I feel like I'm finally on the road to solid recovery. I bet she'll reach out to me sometime in the next few days/weeks and I'll be ready to ignore it - hopefully I'll be smart enough to know "eh, just respond, you're feeling great you can handle it" is a lie.

 

Thanks for putting up with all my BS and for continually watching me convince myself of dumb stuff

Edited June 10, 2015 by ravfour4

[Simon Phoenix]

Why are you texting her? STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.

[ravfour4]

Calm down over there. It was just a small little joke, something I mentioned I would send her on Friday before hell broke loose. I didn't want a response and as I mention, I'm very glad I didn't get one. Had a great day today, probably a better day than if I hadn't sent it.

[Simon Phoenix]

Calm down over there. It was just a small little joke, something I mentioned I would send her on Friday before hell broke loose. I didn't want a response and as I mention, I'm very glad I didn't get one. Had a great day today, probably a better day than if I hadn't sent it.

 

I'm not going to calm down. Don't tell us how much you are learning when you keep making the most fundamental mistake there is. Everytime you talk about No Contact and space you continue to push contact and once again, you invent a reason to contact her.

 

I'm sorry dude, i'm not going to let up on you until you stop doing stupid crap.

[ravfour4]

I think I needed her to not respond to me for once. It's the first time she's done that since the break-up. Something about it felt great and emancipating. I thought about her less at work today than I have in months and I didn't think about her at all at the show last night, well I did for a second...I thought how happy I was that she wasn't there.

[Simon Phoenix]

I think I needed her to not respond to me for once. It's the first time she's done that since the break-up. Something about it felt great and emancipating. I thought about her less at work today than I have in months and I didn't think about her at all at the show last night, well I did for a second...I thought how happy I was that she wasn't there.

 

Meh, i think you're continuing to spin. Stop caving and then following up with spin as to why you having no self-control is a good thing. We've read it from you over and over. Sorry dude, i've heard a similar song and dance from you for a few months now. You have to excuse me for being extremely skeptical of you once again finding a reason to do the one thing you can't be doing.

[ravfour4]

I understand the skepticism

 

This is dumb, but I just realized something as I was cleaning....she has my nice vacuum cleaner (I had let her borrow it) and for ONCE I don't want an excuse to see her, in fact, I don't want to see her at all. I want my vacuum though...

 

Dropping it off at my place isn't really an option, it'd be outside and likely get taken. I guess I could have her leave it outside her place? But I'm not trying to go there when that other dude is there. Maybe I'll just wait a few weeks and ask then? That sounds preferable and I don't think just getting my vacuum would hurt my progress, but who knows. Asking now would seem like an excuse to see her and I don't want to. I'm enjoying life without her.