Patching things up with ex?

[BerMM]

About a year ago I met a homeless girl of 17 at the local Rocky Horror show. As I do for most anybody at the show, I drove her around that night. She of course needed a place to stay, but I couldn't provide it, so I dropped her off with someone else. She called me later that week and we met, but when I tried to take her to where she was staying she was unable to locate it and spent the night at my place. This continued for about a week until I let her move in. We lived together for about 11 months. About halfway through things started getting worse, as we both had a very difficult time supporting ourselves. Also about halfway through, I later found out, she cheated on me. About a month before she left, I discovered that she had rung up my cell phone bill $1,000 in a month. I took the phone away, and I felt that I couldn't trust her because she refused to explain who she was talking to. She wanted to become a stripper with my support, but I didn't know anything about the industry, and feared the dangers. I finally discovered that she went and got her own cell after I told her not to, and she left with just what she was wearing and said that I would never see her again. She never forwarded her mail, so I read and held on to it. She was writing bad checks and getting herself very far in debt, which didn't make sense if she was stripping because she has a killer body and personality. Finally I got a letter from her latest cell phone company and it included her current phone number. This is about a month after she left, and I was able to get ahold of her. So far she has agreed not to have sex with anybody else, and we're dating. In return I allow her to date others. Problem is, she is no longer physically attracted to me. I think that this has something to do with her job(she is stripping), and that it would occur with anybody she had a relationship with. I have learned a lot since she left me, and am trying my best to be sensitive of her issues and only push the ones that greatly affect me.

 

My question is this: What can I try to be more attractive to her?

[Tony T]

Your on your own here, bub. I'd tell the same thing to my own brother.

 

This was a girl you picked up off the streets, she ran up $1,000 in cell phone charges without your permission, she left you flat, told you she would never see you again, etc. I'm sure she did a lot of other things you didn't bother to mention here.

 

She's a stripper and has promised to not have sex with anybody else...yeah, right!!! You gotta understand that men in those clubs will see her and offer her $1,000 or more for sex with her...guys with big bucks.

 

Your very life is in danger by having sex with her. No telling what kinds of diseases she will bring home to you. Moreover, is this the kind of girl you want in your life forever?

 

There is NOTHING you can do to be more attractive to her. She is a very young, screwed up, fickle child from a very sorry, sick family. She has street smarts and will manipulate the crap out of anybody to survive and get her way.

 

Now if you are really serious about wanting to be more attractive to her, pay her $1,500 per week (about what she can make stripping and screwing her clients), buy her a car, get her some jewelry, clothes, etc., and insist she quit stripping. That should keep her for six to nine more months.

 

You will learn one day that if you have change yourself, your life and be someone other than you are to attract somebody, you are after the wrong person. My guess is you are wanting to keep her tight little body around. Well, let me also tell you there, guys will lots more money than you are after the same thing and I promise you they will succeed.

 

In the long run, this little lolita will be more trouble for you than you ever dreamed of.

 

On the plus side, there are some very classy, highly responsible, well-educated, sweet, loving, charming, caring ladies out there looking for a nice guy like you. I hope you will decide to give one of THEM a chance.

[Miss Mojo]

On the plus side, there are some very classy, highly responsible, well-educated, sweet, loving, charming, caring ladies out there looking for a nice guy like you. I hope you will decide to give one of THEM a chance.

 

well said, tony.

 

berMM, this girl is taking you for a HUUUUGE ride. why do you want to be attractive to her? she has taken advantage of you becuase she is a manipulative, greedy little so-and-so with no concern for your feelings at all. she doesn't deserve a chance at all. no matter how much you may feel you want to 'rescue' her (so to speak), it will not happen.

 

you will only be beating a dead horse by trying to get her to see the light. she won't, but i hope you will.