In this situation, would you let your boyfriend/fiance redo proposal if he wanted to?

[craig.wilson795]

In this situation, would you let your boyfriend/fiance redo proposal if he wanted to?

 

Your boyfriend proposed but he was really disappointed with the proposal. He is really disappointed and feels miserable because you didn't show that much excitement and you didn't show that you were happy. You were very excited. But you didn't show it. Now he feels horrible really miserable and has actually cried and really wants a chance at a better proposal because a proposal is a major thing for him and he gives it great significance. He also feels horrible because he spent months planning the proposal to make it perfect and he feels like what he did went in vain. Would you let him propose again in the future if he wants to?

[Acacia98]

No. I wouldn't want to redo the proposal. If my boyfriend did all of the above, I would start to feel concerned about whether he had the capacity to cope with real problems in a healthy manner. I would ask myself whether being married to him would mean having to pretend I was overjoyed all the time in order to keep him from feeling anxious.

 

Ultimately, I would want him to seek individual counseling because it would be clear to me that he was dealing with something very serious (e.g. depression or anxiety) and needed support.

[todreaminblue]

I would tell him he didnt need to propose again that it was perfect the way it was......and that i appreciated all the effort and time he put into it....deb

[badpenny]

In this situation, would you let your boyfriend/fiance redo proposal if he wanted to?

 

Your boyfriend proposed but he was really disappointed with the proposal. He is really disappointed and feels miserable because you didn't show that much excitement and you didn't show that you were happy. You were very excited. But you didn't show it. Now he feels horrible really miserable and has actually cried and really wants a chance at a better proposal because a proposal is a major thing for him and he gives it great significance. He also feels horrible because he spent months planning the proposal to make it perfect and he feels like what he did went in vain. Would you let him propose again in the future if he wants to?

 

No.

If she didn't turn him down, albeit with less excitement than he envisioned, then there's no point proposing again. A 'yes' is a 'yes' is already a 'yes'.

 

Referring to the above post, it's also, in my poor opinion, a sign of perhaps a mild immaturity in the guy.

He set this up with high hopes, whistles bells, streamers and fireworks, only for it to rain on his parade.

 

The engagement means very little.

it's merely a step in the process of building a life together, and living together as man and wife.

(My H handed me my engagement ring on a bus. It's actually a very happy memory for me.)

If this leaves him in this frame of mind now, marriage is going to be an overwhelming and crushing disappointment to him, because however high you set the bar, if you end up walking underneath it, then the bar is too high.

I'm sorry, but the young guy seems to be living a fantasy, and may need a reality check.

The above post is worth paying attention to....

[craig.wilson795]

No.

If she didn't turn him down, albeit with less excitement than he envisioned, then there's no point proposing again. A 'yes' is a 'yes' is already a 'yes'.

 

Referring to the above post, it's also, in my poor opinion, a sign of perhaps a mild immaturity in the guy.

He set this up with high hopes, whistles bells, streamers and fireworks, only for it to rain on his parade.

 

The engagement means very little.

it's merely a step in the process of building a life together, and living together as man and wife.

(My H handed me my engagement ring on a bus. It's actually a very happy memory for me.)

If this leaves him in this frame of mind now, marriage is going to be an overwhelming and crushing disappointment to him, because however high you set the bar, if you end up walking underneath it, then the bar is too high.

I'm sorry, but the young guy seems to be living a fantasy, and may need a reality check.

The above post is worth paying attention to....

 

What if he didn't set this up with high hopes, whistles bells, streamers and fireworks but he still felt horrible. Is he still immature?

[Mittens]

What if he didn't set this up with high hopes, whistles bells, streamers and fireworks but he still felt horrible. Is he still immature?

 

If she said 'yes' than yes. Not every woman is going to dissolve into a squealing sobbing mess when proposed to. And any man who does, even though she said 'yes'? Would not impress me. Have to agree with Badpenny, young man needs to grow up.

[craig.wilson795]

If she said 'yes' than yes. Not every woman is going to dissolve into a squealing sobbing mess when proposed to. And any man who does, even though she said 'yes'? Would not impress me. Have to agree with Badpenny, young man needs to grow up.

 

If this is true, is it also immature for a woman to be upset because she wasn't impressed by his proposal?

[GorillaTheater]

I proposed half-drunk in a parking lot. She said yes.

 

What did your girl say?

[d0nnivain]

The fact that this is a problem tells me neither of these people is mature enough or genuinely ready to get married.

 

When DH proposed it was a comedy of errors. There really weren't too may more things that could have gone wrong. We have a great laugh about it now.

 

Life is not a fairytale romance novel & there are no retakes. It's not a movie.

[Methodical]

Has BF asked for a redo or do you feel guilt ridden for not being overly enthusiastic? I agree that a yes is a yes. Re-doing the proposal would be like re-wrapping a gift. You already know what's coming, and the outcome, so there wouldn't be anything magical about the moment. And too, a re-do for display would be emasculating because it would be to pacify him.

[Tayla]

Life is a cycle of re-doing. There is no reason to deem him immature. He sounds like a fine gent to want to be given another chance. For in marriage, we must learn to allow the person the opportunity to improve if they so wish.

 

I personally would find it endearing and somewhat still surprising with what he conjures up.

 

Try to be in the moment if he does get the chance again. I"m sure if you walked his path , a bit more enthusiasm may do the trick!

 

Congrats on the engagement!