foolinlove79 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 There seem to be a lot of posts about online chats etc and if its considered cheating or not. I for one think if your partner should read those chats and feels betrayed in some way then yes it is. Several months ago i happened to see a chat between my so called bf and a 'friend'. They were wanting to organise a get together with a group of people so they could meet up and not have me think anything of it. There was talk of butterflies when they see each other and then my so called bf said part of him regrets not staying single so he could pop around for visits. As far as i know that get together never happened. And he insists they are just friends but to me that is a bit more then friendship. But not nice reading. I have no idea what they discuss now or how often they chat. I know he hasnt physically cheated but does that really matter? In my mind the damage is done. It has changed my feelings for him. I think there is a loss of respect there Too. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 He's having sidechicks. It's actually quite likely he cheated already, even if it wasn't with her. His gaslighting that he "didn't meant it" just shows how sincere he is. Run from this guy, as fast as you can and as soon as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Naturebox Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I know he hasnt physically cheated but does that really matter? For guys it's different, they are more about the physical while women are more about the emotional. But the bottom line is that to him this isn't cheating but you are clearly on the fence about it. If he cares about your feeling he'll change, and if not it's time to dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 He's having sidechicks. It's actually quite likely he cheated already, even if it wasn't with her. His gaslighting that he "didn't meant it" just shows how sincere he is. Run from this guy, as fast as you can and as soon as you can. His ex wife cheated on him and he always says how awful cheating is. So i dont think he has physically cheated. I think the fact im on this site asking what people think says it all unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 For guys it's different, they are more about the physical while women are more about the emotional. But the bottom line is that to him this isn't cheating but you are clearly on the fence about it. If he cares about your feeling he'll change, and if not it's time to dump him. In his mind im sure he doesnt think its cheating. But he knows its not right because he deletes the messages after. I just happened to come across one he had forgotten to remove. So he knows its wrong. I wonder what else he does i dont know about. What ****s me is if i was doing the same thing he wouldnt like it. Double standard 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Naturebox Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 In his mind im sure he doesnt think its cheating. But he knows its not right because he deletes the messages after. I just happened to come across one he had forgotten to remove. So he knows its wrong. I wonder what else he does i dont know about. What ****s me is if i was doing the same thing he wouldnt like it. Double standard You are clearly not happy with him, I think it's time to find someone who recognizes your value and doesn't need to entertain flirting with other chicks. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Clearly he is emotionally cheating. They are expressing romantic interest in each other and plotting to meet up so it doesn't look like what it is. It isn't physical YET, but in time it will. When someone is that emotionally involved with someone else they have already left the relationship. like a lot of people if it isn't physical it isn't cheating. Not true. When it becomes intimate, like sharing feelings, that is cheating because they should only be exclusive to your partner. Emotional affairs are as addicting as crack. His addiction is making him be in denial of the true implications of what is going on between them. If you have never experienced this you would never understand. It really changes your perception because you want that feeling to never go away. Seeing them or talking to them is like taking hit of a crack pipe....you don't want to put it down. So from an outsiders view you think they are just mad, and you are confused as to why they are doing it when it goes against their values. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Who the hell knows how far he's gotten with this other girl...or any other girl for that matter. Some people are all talk and no action while others enjoy the excitement that comes with sneaking around and hiding their crimes. Does it really matter which game he's playing? I don't think so. It's disrespectful at best. Listen to your gut. You already know what you want and need to do. Trust in that. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 His ex wife cheated on him and he always says how awful cheating is. So i dont think he has physically cheated. I think the fact im on this site asking what people think says it all unfortunately. Plenty of those who have been cheated on turn to cheating themselves. Besides, you only know his side of the story. For all you know he might got dumped for cheating on his ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Clearly he is emotionally cheating. They are expressing romantic interest in each other and plotting to meet up so it doesn't look like what it is. It isn't physical YET, but in time it will. When someone is that emotionally involved with someone else they have already left the relationship. like a lot of people if it isn't physical it isn't cheating. Not true. When it becomes intimate, like sharing feelings, that is cheating because they should only be exclusive to your partner. Emotional affairs are as addicting as crack. His addiction is making him be in denial of the true implications of what is going on between them. If you have never experienced this you would never understand. It really changes your perception because you want that feeling to never go away. Seeing them or talking to them is like taking hit of a crack pipe....you don't want to put it down. So from an outsiders view you think they are just mad, and you are confused as to why they are doing it when it goes against their values. I absolutely agree. Thats what really gets to me. The fact he is having a close intimate relationship with them and sharing feelings etc. I think it is an addiction too. Its not the first time ive caught him doing this but i thought he had stopped. Its like he just cant help himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Plenty of those who have been cheated on turn to cheating themselves. Besides, you only know his side of the story. For all you know he might got dumped for cheating on his ex. I would of thought the opposite would be true. If you've been cheated on you know how it feels and wouldnt want to do that to someone else. Especially someone you're supposed to care about Link to post Share on other sites
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