loveweary11 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I had the joy of seeing my ex of 7 years and 2 months break up with her new man, It hurts and hurt alot thinking of him doing everything I used to do with her, although in many ways it has helped me move on knowing its over, whilst its painful I am glad it happened. I was laughing inside that he was bald I am proud of my head of hair hahaha Isn't the laughing part great? Mine has kept the entrepreneurial spirit I taught her, but without my help and only his, their ventures keep crashing and burning, which I get a good chuckle out of... even having less hair than the new dude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lop98 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I really admire the strength of people that can resist this. I always had crazy instincts online, this combined with a lot of pain and natural snooping tendencies, I could tell the moment he followed her on instagram that she was the 'new girl' and within days I was proved right. She was very active on social media so I studied her 'case' closely and man did it hurt... there's pain when you are left behind for someone that's exceptionally good looking, leading a better, more interesting life, and easier personality, and everything seems relatively in order, it hurts but there's human logic in that choice. Something else is to be left behind for a girl that anyone will agree doesn't look half as good as you do, that has lived off people and on people's couches for the past 5 years, that immediately after getting together with my ex started posting and even hashtagging expensive brands/stuff in his apartment and living off his money... it felt as if he would rather lick a sidewalk, anything, over being with me. I do think that the moment I saw pictures of them together, besides feeling like someone smashed a bottled on my head, I was put on some express recovery track. It was clear as crystal it was over and I had no choice but to move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
totenkopf Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Yeah I saw the first pic of my ex and her new guy like two months after we split. He is a bouncer at her work and no exaggeration he looks like Schrek. He has a gold tooth and a big gold ring a proper chav he is into graffiti and shooting animals. She was shouting abuse at some dude shooting birds in a field like a month before we split and always used to decry people like him. She really searched hard and far for this one. Oh and they got engaged after six weeks... and we were planning to get married. Something not quite right here lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
totenkopf Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 i did, when i was still grieving -- it actually helped me because it finally hit me that it was over, that he truly doesn't love me and that he truly moved on. seeing him happy with someone else and already planning a life with another person, seeing how he DOESN'T regret anything or thinks about me... it allowed me to move on to acceptance. as far as the person goes... didn't care about her at all. it was more about him and what that relationship meant for ME. Exactly how I feel. Clearly the relationship which meant the world to me and the things we did together along with her son and all the things she said meant absolutely nothing to her. It meant nothing that I went to her sons school play and met his teacher who told me he was always talking about me and she even said " don't you two go breaking up" lol she left me a week before her sons birthday that I had done everything to help her with. God did I see her true colours and that I never knew this sad excuse for a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Twigyy Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I've only seen two pictures of her new bf. One with her and one without. It had no effect on me though. But one funny thing is that I can barely remember how my ex girlfriend look like without looking at any pictures. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 He has great videos. He's a good guy. And unfortunately, no choice. Yes, good guy, agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 #1 Knock her off that pedestal. You two aren't together for a reason. #2 People will say things at the time and MEAN them, but it doesn't make them contractually obligated to stick to those words for the rest of their lives. If that were the case, I'd be a firefighter and not an accountant. #3 You need to realize that even if it does fail and she comes back to you, she is only doing it because that didn't work out and not because she realized the mistake she made. #4 She is 20. She'll probably change her mind about that guy by tomorrow. Or she might not. #5 It is easier for her, because she had someone else she could switch immediately to. If that guy wants to be a doormat and tell her what she wants to hear, that's her problem, not yours. #6 Value yourself more. It sounds like you are defining yourself with the woman you no longer have. Yes, we've all been there, we have loved and lost, but you need to realize WHY you lost. SHE did this to you. She's not that sweet, innocent girl that you imagine her to be. #7 Re-read #1. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I cant concentrate on my new job i love her so much, ive been to the doctors for tablets and thought about ending my life to make the pain go away. i dont feel like i could trust a girl again dont know how to move on. any thoughts would be appreciated Your post was quite normal but took a sudden turn with your last few sentences. If this is truly how you feel then you need to seek some professional help right away. If it's just an exaggerated attempt to communicate how hard it is for your right now then I understand. Listen, the only way to avoid heartache in the realm of love is to never put yourself out there; to avoid committed relationships altogether. The problem with that choice, however, is that it is very lonely and not very fulfilling. The truth is you are 28 and she is 20. She moved more than two hours away to attend college. Anyone being objective could see what was coming. I know your heart hurts right now but everything will be fine in the long run. Understand that love and relationship is a choice and she has made hers. Honor that decision and move forward knowing that things will get better for you one day at a time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be encouraged! Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I am sorry for your loss and the hurt it has caused. You really didn't think the pain would go away after one week did you? You have gone through a deep loss and these things take time. If you were over it quickly and ready to move on yourself then the relationship wasn't as important to either of you as portrayed. There is a process that has to be travelled but the good news is your heart will heal and things will get better. I know the tendency for many people who get hurt in this manner is to try and find another relationship as soon as possible to fill the void that was suddenly and unexpectedly created. Resisting that temptation and finding healing from this relationship is key in order to find something that can stand the test of time. Be encouraged! Things will get better. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveless86 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Your post was quite normal but took a sudden turn with your last few sentences. If this is truly how you feel then you need to seek some professional help right away. If it's just an exaggerated attempt to communicate how hard it is for your right now then I understand. Listen, the only way to avoid heartache in the realm of love is to never put yourself out there; to avoid committed relationships altogether. The problem with that choice, however, is that it is very lonely and not very fulfilling. The truth is you are 28 and she is 20. She moved more than two hours away to attend college. Anyone being objective could see what was coming. I know your heart hurts right now but everything will be fine in the long run. Understand that love and relationship is a choice and she has made hers. Honor that decision and move forward knowing that things will get better for you one day at a time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be encouraged! I did truly feel a couple of times that the pain of losing her and her going straight to another man was too much to cope with and seriously considered ending the pain, plus i have work commitments in my life that i need to concentrate on but cant due to whats happened to i thought ending the suffering was my only option at the time. That was when i was at my lowest last night i got 3 hours sleep and was dreaming about her, but today ive not been too bad, im trying my best to think of all the bad times we had and all the times she annoyed me and this kind of thinking seems to be working for me The fact that it all happened so quick is the biggest shock to the system. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveless86 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 I am sorry for your loss and the hurt it has caused. You really didn't think the pain would go away after one week did you? You have gone through a deep loss and these things take time. If you were over it quickly and ready to move on yourself then the relationship wasn't as important to either of you as portrayed. There is a process that has to be travelled but the good news is your heart will heal and things will get better. I know the tendency for many people who get hurt in this manner is to try and find another relationship as soon as possible to fill the void that was suddenly and unexpectedly created. Resisting that temptation and finding healing from this relationship is key in order to find something that can stand the test of time. Be encouraged! Things will get better. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Very wise words there thanks. Does this mean shes masking her grief with this new guy? If indeed there is any grief there to begin with. Many thanks for your comments Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveless86 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 im really not sure if looking at a picture of them on fb would set me back and hurt me even more or help with the recovery process..... thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Unfortunately his new girlfriend was a mutual acquaintance of ours for years (the ex and I have been best friends since we were kids) so I definitely knew who it was and knew what she looked like. And honestly, I'm better than her. In every way. But if he's happy with her, I'm happy for him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Hang in there. You will make it through this time! Link to post Share on other sites
crimsontactics Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I've been through your experience bro. 99.9%, your ex rebound will fail... 90% your ex will return to you, assuming you're not a crappy boyfriend... 0% will the both of you last forever. I'm sorry but it's really over. Unless you accept it and move on, you won't recover. Stay cheerful! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveless86 Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 Was wondering if anyone out there has had their ex come back to them after a rebound, and if so did you accept them? Or have you gone back to your ex after your rebound failed? Link to post Share on other sites
Calidude6 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I had an ex come back to me after 6 months when they dumped me and started talking to their ex again. Was it a smart move to take her back? Probably not but I learned a valuable lesson though. Never be someone's second option. Why would you or anyone deserve that? No one deserves that. However, she wasn't the best girl for me. It was an okay relationship, we managed to stay together longer than before but it was unhealthy and she wasn't the right one for me. It's different for everyone as it depends on the people and their relationship. I wouldn't mind starting new with an ex. My current ex, I would start a new relationship with her any time in my life if I'm available. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 It does happen, but the odds are always against it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveless86 Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 I had an ex come back to me after 6 months when they dumped me and started talking to their ex again. Was it a smart move to take her back? Probably not but I learned a valuable lesson though. Never be someone's second option. Why would you or anyone deserve that? No one deserves that. However, she wasn't the best girl for me. It was an okay relationship, we managed to stay together longer than before but it was unhealthy and she wasn't the right one for me. It's different for everyone as it depends on the people and their relationship. I wouldn't mind starting new with an ex. My current ex, I would start a new relationship with her any time in my life if I'm available. Ha and you said never be someones second option I know what you mean though, although my ex has caused me all this pain and misery i know right now id have her back. There would have to be a long serious chat about it first tho Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Ha and you said never be someones second option I know what you mean though, although my ex has caused me all this pain and misery i know right now id have her back. There would have to be a long serious chat about it first tho i hear you. When the breakup is still sort of fresh and you haven't learned to stand on your own two feet again on your own, it's easy to take that comfort back if it returns. I'm pretty sure I would do the same, even though my ex was terrible. My situation is I have reason to think he may be seeing a rebound, but I'm not sure. I almost hope he is, so I can just walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveless86 Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 i hear you. When the breakup is still sort of fresh and you haven't learned to stand on your own two feet again on your own, it's easy to take that comfort back if it returns. I'm pretty sure I would do the same, even though my ex was terrible. My situation is I have reason to think he may be seeing a rebound, but I'm not sure. I almost hope he is, so I can just walk away. Could you check his fb account to see so you can have closure? i know my ex is with a rebound, she phoned me 3 weeks after we split to tell me shes with someone else , heartbroken Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Could you check his fb account to see so you can have closure? i know my ex is with a rebound, she phoned me 3 weeks after we split to tell me shes with someone else , heartbroken I blocked him. My friend said it doesn't look like he's seeing anyone, but really who knows? Some people don't make that apparent on Facebook, especially if they just dumped their ex and don't want to seem like a jerk by dating soon after. I guess I will never know unless I run into him somewhere and he's with someone. The not knowing stinks, and I don't know if it would hurt worse if I knew or if it's best to keep oblivious from it. Why would someone phone their ex to say that? Rude, and trying to prolong your pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveless86 Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 I blocked him. My friend said it doesn't look like he's seeing anyone, but really who knows? Some people don't make that apparent on Facebook, especially if they just dumped their ex and don't want to seem like a jerk by dating soon after. I guess I will never know unless I run into him somewhere and he's with someone. The not knowing stinks, and I don't know if it would hurt worse if I knew or if it's best to keep oblivious from it. Why would someone phone their ex to say that? Rude, and trying to prolong your pain. It sounds like if he is seeing someone else he cares about you enough to not hurt your feelings. i used to check my exs facebook regular and there was nothing until she phoned me up, she said its better coming from her than someone else, how about not broadcasting it all over facebook bragging about it. then id never find out until the time was right. Ive been really upset over the past few weeks but im starting to resent her now Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Very, very rarely. You'll hold on to that false hope for a while, it'll fade, as will your willingness to take her back 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 It sounds like if he is seeing someone else he cares about you enough to not hurt your feelings. i used to check my exs facebook regular and there was nothing until she phoned me up, she said its better coming from her than someone else, how about not broadcasting it all over facebook bragging about it. then id never find out until the time was right. Ive been really upset over the past few weeks but im starting to resent her now That's why I blocked, because I knew I'd be checking all the time. I would rather hear it from him first, tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
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