MittensMcMittens Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Right, I've been with my bf for over 5 years now. Great relationship, soul-mates, etc. He treats me really well and has given no indication of a reason to distrust him ever. He could go out on the town with his friends for the night and I would never even contemplate that he would do anything with another girl... We are currently in an LTR after living together for 2 years. I had to move away for college for a year but we are planning to move back in together soon (so what happened next makes zero sense to me). We are also planning trips away together, etc. Everything's been really good as of late. So I was messing around on his tablet while he was on the PC. I know his PIN and often use the tablet. He never bothers to erase his history. Again we have nothing to hide from each other so I would let him use my laptop and he lets me use his tablet, no problem. When I typed the start of a website address in the address bar, I was shocked to see the address of a personal section of a well-known advertising site pop-up in the search bar history. It definitely wasn't a search suggestion as it had the clock 'history' symbol beside it. It was the 'personals' section and also 'women seeking men' section that popped up. I asked him about it immediately and he said he had been looking at used cars on that website and also on other trading websites. In fairness, he had mentioned doing this earlier on in the day, completely unrelated at the time and he had no idea that I would find his history on the tablet later. I do believe his was looking at cars too but I checked later and you would definitely have had to deliberately click into the personals section and then the women seeking men section for it appear in your history (you would even had to confirm that you were 18 + to get in.) I was shocked to see it wasnt even a dating section but more of a hook-up, sex thing. He has said in the past he thinks cheaters are scum, and that he would never do that. When this arose, he asked if he honestly thought he would be so stupid as to not wipe his history if he was trying to hook-up behind my back and also that he would have looked into individual profiles, not just the general section if he was actively looking. I don't really know what to think. It would be so out of character for him to do this. The best case scenario is that he was just curious and had a look at the page with no intention of doing anything. Should I just let it go as one-off? Would love some feedback from anybody who went through something similar. Please tell me these stories don't always end with the person being a cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 He may have just been browsing for fun. Some of the stuff people claim to be looking for on the personal's section of craigslist cracks me up so I do glance. I'd let it go but keep my eyes & ears open. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Yes you re overreacting . I don't think he would go on those kind of websites if he was really interested in cheating. Don't worry he sounds like a good guy Link to post Share on other sites
Author MittensMcMittens Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Thanks for your replies. I suppose I was just shocked to see that kinda thing in his history at all. It's just so out of character for him, I can't emphasize that enough. I just wish if he had looked at it out of curiosity that he had said, "Oh yeah, I just took a look at it for the laugh." I'd be like ''fair enough". It's just that he was like "Oh, I don't know how it got there really, I was on that website earlier maybe that's why". And then the stuff about how he wouldn't be stupid enough to not clear his history if he was actively seeking to cheat on me. But maybe he was embarrassed or something. Anyway, probably best to let it go! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Sounds a bit sketchy to me. Stay alert. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Right, I've been with my bf for over 5 years now. Great relationship, soul-mates, etc. He treats me really well and has given no indication of a reason to distrust him ever. He could go out on the town with his friends for the night and I would never even contemplate that he would do anything with another girl... We are currently in an LTR after living together for 2 years. I had to move away for college for a year but we are planning to move back in together soon (so what happened next makes zero sense to me). We are also planning trips away together, etc. Everything's been really good as of late. So I was messing around on his tablet while he was on the PC. I know his PIN and often use the tablet. He never bothers to erase his history. Again we have nothing to hide from each other so I would let him use my laptop and he lets me use his tablet, no problem. When I typed the start of a website address in the address bar, I was shocked to see the address of a personal section of a well-known advertising site pop-up in the search bar history. It definitely wasn't a search suggestion as it had the clock 'history' symbol beside it. It was the 'personals' section and also 'women seeking men' section that popped up. I asked him about it immediately and he said he had been looking at used cars on that website and also on other trading websites. In fairness, he had mentioned doing this earlier on in the day, completely unrelated at the time and he had no idea that I would find his history on the tablet later. I do believe his was looking at cars too but I checked later and you would definitely have had to deliberately click into the personals section and then the women seeking men section for it appear in your history (you would even had to confirm that you were 18 + to get in.) I was shocked to see it wasnt even a dating section but more of a hook-up, sex thing. He has said in the past he thinks cheaters are scum, and that he would never do that. When this arose, he asked if he honestly thought he would be so stupid as to not wipe his history if he was trying to hook-up behind my back and also that he would have looked into individual profiles, not just the general section if he was actively looking. I don't really know what to think. It would be so out of character for him to do this. The best case scenario is that he was just curious and had a look at the page with no intention of doing anything. Should I just let it go as one-off? Would love some feedback from anybody who went through something similar. Please tell me these stories don't always end with the person being a cheat. no indication of a reason to distrust him ever It would be so out of character Again we have nothing to hide from each other so I would let him use my laptop and he lets me use his tablet, no problem. so what happened next makes zero sense to me Either you trust him or you don't. And, this by itself means nothing. Unless his behavior toward you has changed or you have some other kind of empirical evidence, you continue to trust him. Continue to observe his behavior towards you. You don't mention this again. If his behavior changes and begins to cause you significant concern, you open a casual, non-confrontational conversation and say something like "I love you and respect our relationship. Is anything you think we need to work on?" And then, let him talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MittensMcMittens Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Yeah I do trust him. That's why even seeing it in his history was a huge shock. I couldn't speak for a moment when I saw it at first cause I just thought it was so strange. In any case, I don't have, as you say, any evidence whatsoever for any kind of bad behavior on his part. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and just leave it be. I really just wanted to see if anybody had gone through a similar situation before. Thanks all for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
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