Sassy Girl Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 He is having unprotected sex with both of us your are correct so maybe your right and that's the reason he doesn't want to see me if I meet someone else. stop this right now. You need to take better care of yourself. Aside from STDs, there's a bunch of other stuff you may end up "sharing" with his wife. Changes in PH levels can cause bacterial vaginosis, antibiotics can cause thrush... Seriously. You want to share? Hormonal changes (ie pregnancy) can also cause these. Clearly he doesn't give a crap about your health or his wife's. Put you first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Aside from what everyone else has been telling you about this creep... please get yourself STD tested. Yesterday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lunay Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 You can't get over someone if you're still in contact with them all the time. If you know it's not healthy and it is wasting your life then you need to put yourself through NC. He is a married man, and not a faithful one. Do you really, in the end, even want to be with someone who cheats on their wife? Put yourself in her shoes. If he will do it with you, he will do it to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 because I don't want to lose him again Sophie, the fact is you already lost him. He didn't marry for religious reasons, he married because he wanted to. It always hurts when they choose someone else over us. I'm sorry you are hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 This sounds exactly the same as my situation it really does he told me he doesnt think he would continue to see me if I meet someone because it will be weird for him and he used to make me swear that I wasn't sleeping with anyone else Can't you see how selfish this is? He can do you on the side, but you can't do anyone else. I guess his 'religion' condones cheating then. Where you not acceptable in his religion? Protect yourself from getting hurt. The emotional damage will leave you feeling broken and it will be difficult for you to find a sincere man. If we human beings allow others to treat us this way, they'll do it over and over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sophie12 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 Can't you see how selfish this is? He can do you on the side, but you can't do anyone else. I guess his 'religion' condones cheating then. Where you not acceptable in his religion? Protect yourself from getting hurt. The emotional damage will leave you feeling broken and it will be difficult for you to find a sincere man. If we human beings allow others to treat us this way, they'll do it over and over again. No I wasn't acceptable in his religion that's why he ended it with me a few months ago as he had a marriage planned for him. He knows it's selfish he admitted that to me but he said even the thought of me being with someone else he can't handle even tho he is married so he knows it's wrong what he is saying Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 So test it out! Go on two dates this weekend!!! I'd bet money he still comes sniffing around after your dates. Do NOT stop dating available men. In fact, date more often - that way you will more likely find a man who makes only you his top priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sophie12 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 So test it out! Go on two dates this weekend!!! I'd bet money he still comes sniffing around after your dates. Do NOT stop dating available men. In fact, date more often - that way you will more likely find a man who makes only you his top priority. I'm not sure I'm even ready to date yet as it still feels so soon to be doing that I really don't think he'd still want me after he found out id been on a date is be very surprised if that happened Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm not sure I'm even ready to date yet as it still feels so soon to be doing that I really don't think he'd still want me after he found out id been on a date is be very surprised if that happened You are single - he is not. Go on dates. He isn't the one to run your life! I hope you stop allowing him so much power over you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sophie12 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 You are single - he is not. Go on dates. He isn't the one to run your life! I hope you stop allowing him so much power over you. I'm not sure I'm ready it's only been 3 months I know he doesn't have the control over me anymore the way he used to but sometimes he just acts distant and makes excuses not to see me then if I act as if I'm meeting someone (childish games I know) he suddenly gets defensive making me swear if I have anyone coming to my house then suddenly makes time to see me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 You could... Gain enough strength to not allow him to even know anything about you. By creating enough space and distance between you two - you could make enough space for a new man... But not so much as long as you keep participating with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I also think it's a good idea to go on a couple dates. Nothing serious...just some coffee or a walk. it will help get your mind off the situation, and if it alienates him, all the better. If it's been 3 months now, it's time. He has made a choice, for whatever his reasons, to get married to someone that is part of his religion and culture. Those pressures can be very powerful. Who is in the driver's seat here? You are...or should be. One other thing...birth control. Honey, I hope you're using some. You say you aren't using protection. Are you using birth control? Please please please please use some, if you aren't already. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts