RonaldMcDonald Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 She's 19 and I'm 21. We've dated for 2 and a half years. I've always had a feeling that my mom didn't really like her even though she never said anything directly and my gf didn't really pick up on it so I was like whatever. But recently my girlfriend moved in with my parents and I and my mom has been horrible to her! My mom will blame my gf for anything and everything that happens. She likes to approach her when I'm not around and just...yells at her about things my gf has no clue about half the time. Food that goes missing, spilled food that my gf didn't even touch, the water bill, anything. My girlfriend is such a sweetheart and has been nothing but nice to everyone she meets. When this first happened I told my family ahead of time not to yell at her because she's sensitive but they don't care. My mom has made her cry more times then I can count. She seems so anxious all the time when we're home.. My girlfriend has never done anything to deserve this and no reason to be hated.. The reason she's here is because her dad got married and his wife kicked her out on the street so they could give her room to the wifes child.. It was unexpected and I had to come pick her up off the street so I didn't have a chance to talk to my mom about this before it all happened. She was basically told to just get the hell out when the wife moved in. My girlfriend had to quit her job because I live two cities away from her dad. She's currently applying to new jobs here so she doesn't have to mooch off of my parents. My mom knows her situation and she's not making life here any easier for her.. I always put a stop to the drama as soon as I see it happening but it doesn't seem to help much. My gf has never yelled back at my mom or defended herself. She just gets all shakey and tears up. My mom even yelled at her when she was having a panic attack and I DID NOT let that fly. I just told my gf to go outside and I had to block my mom from following her. My gf told me she doesn't usually doesn't have panic attacks unless she's stressed out or overwhelmed. How do I get my mom to see what she's doing to this poor girl and to STOP IT? We are trying to save up enough money to move out together. I want to get my girlfriend away from this but until then I just want my mom to stop bullying her.. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) You already got a bunch of replies to this on your last thread. Your mom clearly does not want your gf living in her house and that is her right. She is under no obligation to have her son's gf living with her. Your gf needs to make other arrangements because this is not working for anyone. Your gf is upset and your mother is upset, so your gf needs to move. As others already suggested she should see if she can get subsidized housing or get roommates or even just rent a room from someone who is looking for a border. Your mother wasn't looking for a border, rather you and your gf just imposed this situation on her which wasn't fair. Make other arrangements. PS I really think there is more to the story regarding the reasons your gf got kicked out of her house. I kind of doubt it was just because her dads new wife wanted her room. However that is neither here nor there. She is not your mothers responsibility and your mom is not picking on her for no reason. She's picking on her because she doesn't want her to live there and therefore your gf is staying where she is not welcome. Time for her to move. Edited May 5, 2015 by anika99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I've not read your other thread, but I seriously question why a father would allow his daughter to be kicked out like that. Something doesn't seem right. If she didn't have you, where would she go? Doesn't she have other relatives.? Mother? Siblings? Aunts /uncle, cousins. You can't be responsible for putting a roof over her head. I feel sorry for her situation, but unless her father is crazy, he wouldn't put his daughter on the streets with nowhere to go. Are you saying her and her dad had a normal relationship before he got married? Does he hate his daughter? Your mom is probably frustrated with everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RonaldMcDonald Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Her dad has always been a dick and never seemed to care about her at all. She met him for the first time after her mom died years ago. He never wanted kids but he had to take her in since she was still a minor at the time. His new wife was never nice to her either.. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Well, at least you're now motivated to get working as much as possible and gety our own place. Listen, moms are often jealous of girlfriends. Sick, I know, but they are. They are no longer Number 1. Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I feel bad for your GF. But I also feel bad for your mom. I had a rule with my kids, if your friends need a roof, they have one...for 7 days. I didn't have enough money to stretch my budget to raise more kids. The fact of this is your mother has been great. She allowed your GF to move in. Your unemployed GF. Your mother now wants her out. Your mother should be confident enough to tell you its time for her to go. But she isn't, so what she is doing is trying to passive aggressively make your GF want to move. Cut your mom some slack. Appreciate what she did. Stop getting mad that she doesn't want to do more. Tell your GF that its time for her to go. You want to make this all about your mother's actions/attitude. You really need to look at your own. Link to post Share on other sites
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