alimony and house

[whatatangledweb]

Now he is asking if you will stay with him if he doesn't divorce. Yet the only way his wife won't divorce him is if he ends it with you. She is not going to let him keep seeing you if they don't divorce. I don't understand why he doesn't see that.

I don't see him divorcing right now. I do think if he tries to continue his affair with you after she changes her mind and stays with him that she will divorce him whether he agrees or not.

He now has told you that he will not marry again or have more children. Are you okay with that?

[sandylee1]

She told MM today that if he leave me and then she won't divorce and he don't need to pay 600K.

 

I think MM afraid now, now he try to conviemce me stay with him if he CANT divorce.

 

I told MM he need to find a lawyer and reject her unreasonable asking, MM told me he don't want fighting, but he don't have 600K now, so how to divorce?

 

I don't understand why you feel this is the only man on earth for you.

 

He's married = not available

He's got kids

He's going to be in a bad financial situation with you

 

Let him go and be with his wife. I really don't think he'll have another affair after you....at least not one where he would even think of leaving his wife for. Let the children have a full time father and move on.

[cocorico]

She told MM today that if he leave me and then she won't divorce and he don't need to pay 600K.

 

I think MM afraid now, now he try to conviemce me stay with him if he CANT divorce.

 

I told MM he need to find a lawyer and reject her unreasonable asking, MM told me he don't want fighting, but he don't have 600K now, so how to divorce?

 

"How to divorce" is simple. He gets a lawyer. With the lawyer he works out what he could reasonably afford to pay her. His lawyer offers this to her lawyer. If they agree, great. If not, he prints out his financial statements, salary slips, etc, and submits them during the court hearing and the judge will decide what would be reasonable. No fighting. Just good sense.

 

It sounds like she is being unreasonable and trying to scare him with threats of bankruptcy if he leaves her. This is just plain stupid. No judge would award maintenance or child support that a parent couldn't afford. Either he is profoundly stupid and doesn't understand the basics of how divorce law works, or he is lying to you and pretending that the reason for his cold feet is his fear of bankruptcy.

 

I can't say either strikes me as particularly sexy.

[sandylee1]

, but why I should let her have him.

 

Because she's his wife. It's really that simple and this 'fighting' is what will give you the label of being a homewrecker.

 

If you had children and were married, would you like another woman wanting your husband to divorce you? Think beyond your own needs and how many people's lives a divorce will affect.

 

You can't be saying that if you never met him, you would never ever find love.

 

Think logically, rather than just with your emotions.

 

ETA - Most men don't cope well with women earning more than them. Once he pays his wife and has to pay child support, he'll feel poor. If things don't work out with the two of you, he'll be even poorer. It's not a good situation for him.

 

You shouldn't have to force a man to be with you.

[MissBee]

I feel support him through divorce things is better than let he keep married with her. Then we will have more free and she will get what she deserve instead always involve in our finance part and plan.

 

But sisa, how does this get rid of the fact that your MM still loves his wife and is only divorcing her because she wants it? Or you don't care?

 

I'm confused about your story every time to be truthful. Even if MM divorces his wife, how do you plan to deal with the emotional aspect of how he feels about her?

 

Sorry to say, but even if you "get" this man, I'm afraid you'll not be riding off into the sunset but will simply move to a new kind of drama, anxiety and uncertainty.

Edited June 1, 2015 by MissBee

[gettingstronger]

You have to be reasonably intelligent to make in the 6 figures, does his story make sense to you?

[Got it]

You have to be reasonably intelligent to make in the 6 figures, does his story make sense to you?

 

Actually I beg to differ. I know a number of people who make six figures and I wouldn't ever accuse them of being the sharpest tools in the shed especially in regards to common sense.

[thefooloftheyear]

Actually I beg to differ. I know a number of people who make six figures and I wouldn't ever accuse them of being the sharpest tools in the shed especially in regards to common sense.

 

 

(Raises hand)....

 

 

 

TFY

[summerdowling87]

he don't feel marry is necessary. He say he wish I love him instead the concept of love to marry him.

 

I'm sorry he doesn't want to marry you.

[gettingstronger]

Actually I beg to differ. I know a number of people who make six figures and I wouldn't ever accuse them of being the sharpest tools in the shed especially in regards to common sense.

 

 

 

 

Not sure if you purposely seek me out to disagree with but sheesh if I had a buck for every time you beg to differ with me...

 

My point was my point, she seems reasonably intelligent and successful, enough that she should be able to understand his story doesn't add up.

[sisa]

I am rational type in common sense, but I admit for romance relationship, I am pretty emotional, MM sometimes tell me he doesn't understand why I choose to be with him, because he feel I am rational and logical.

 

MM back to home town around a week, things go smooth, we meet everyday in breakfast or lunch or dinner, I know he try to arrange time with me besides spend time with family, so I also try to keep clam instead making conflicts.

 

yesterday we meet in coffee shop, and he write the mail back to her lawyer that he accept the devorce, but can't accept the money parts she ask for. He let me see the mail and discuss with me, he told me things will finish soon, and we will be fine.