Quiet Guy Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I'm new to this but have a bit of a problem that hopefully someone can help me with. I have fallen hard for this fantastic girl, who i have known for about a year now. We are pretty good mates and recently have been socialising a fair bit over the past few months. However when it comes to reading 'signs' i am useless. We get along very well and and seem to 'click' and we feel comfortable around each other and can be ourselves and can survive a trip away together unscathed, however i am not sure if she is interested in anything else or just wants to be mates. The last time i went through this and actually told the person involved it ended pretty harsh and took 2 years to get the friendship back on track. I have been hopeless all my life with situations like this, so if anyine has any advice please pass on. Regards Quiet Guy Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Hi Quiet Guy, Here's my advice. Don't make it heavy - no declarations of undying love or anything remotely resembling. Instead, just turn up the flirting and the contact time. In your shoes I would: - find excuses to spend one-on-one time with her. Nothing too heavy or too often. For example, say you fancy buying a new shirt and you thought it would be fun to take her along. - flirty chat. Occasional compliments. Gentle teasing. A personal question. Conversation on subjects of passion for one or both of you. All thrown together unpredictably - you're the man with a plan and in charge. - find excuses to touch her. Not too often and *appropriately*, obviously. Steady yourself on her arm as you reach around her to pick up a shirt. If she responds, you're in and can take it to the next level. If not, move on romantically, keep and enjoy the friendship and get romantic advice on future dates from her. Be aware that the chance of romance is 50/50 only - she may have you firmly in the platonic box in her head. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I would talk about a girl you are interested in and watch her reaction. If she gets jealous or seems upset then she is interested. If not then you are just a friend. Good Luck.... Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Quiet Guy, The first thing you're going to have to do is to decide whether you want to be her friend or her lover - 'cause you can't really expect to be both. If you want to be taken seriously as a romantic prospect, you're going to have to be a little more of a classic guy than a guy friend. As someone said earlier, you could talk about another girl that you like and get her reaction, though you have to be careful here because she may or may not really know how she feels until she actually sees you dating the other person. Which brings me to the next thing: make yourself a little more scarce. Don't avoid her, but stop calling her as often, don't meet her as often. Make her think more about you and then see what her reaction is. It's hard to give advice in this situation because in a friendship the dynamics are a bit different. Honestly, it's risky to try to go from being friends first to lovers. I've had one friendship that turned into something more, and based on that experience, I can only say that the one key word you have to hear from her is "respect". If she keeps talking about how much she respects you, it's POSSIBLE that you might be in the game. If she keeps talking about how you'd make a great father, a great husband etc...there's an even better chance you're in the game. Anything less than that, though, and you're risking a lot of awkwardness. Usually, friends or not, women will give you subtle hints about how they see you. Body language tells everything. Learn to read the signs. Link to post Share on other sites
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