fitnessfan365 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Got a woman's number off OKC. Called her and decent conversation. We're both busy the rest of the week so we agreed on plans for next week. She sends me a text today. We exchange a few. Me - Already planning your outfit for next week? Her - It's crossed my mind Me - I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with Her - We'll see. I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman Now I actually respect her for being honest, and I have no desire to change anyone. But this was an instant turn off. My usual preference is for women that dress like women. Skirts, sundresses, form fitting jeans and tops, etc.. It's very attractive when women like to be feminine and feel desired. Yet these days you see more and more women in sweats, flip flops, loose fitting jeans, baggy t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc.. So for the women on the forums, I'm curious how you usually dress. Do you always dress for "comfort" and not care about attracting male attention. Or do you enjoy strutting your stuff? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 How do you know she wasn't talking about form fitting jeans? What was she wearing in her pictures on OKC? I'm personally quite fond of skinny jeans and heels/wedges myself. Not a fan of too many sun dresses *blech*. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 What do you think? :-) I show case my assets in a sexy-classy way, I stay away from trashy. If I were jeans it's with semi-high heels and blouse. T-shirts is for outdoors activities/sports. In summer time I always go to my first meetings in a summer dress with just enough cleavage and nice heels. I'm girly and enjoy all that dress up, shoes, nails, hair stuff. As much as you don't seem to like jeans & t-shirt women, I don't like jeans & t-shirts men. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnimon Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I can relate to you on this one. I like to dress very feminine, so when I go out I like to wear dresses and skirts, capris with heals for a more casual look. I like to match, wear color matching shoes, jewelry and so on and so forth..... My best friend on the other hand never wears anything but jeans and a t-shirt or maybe a tighter fitting shirt but nothing sexy. She also ALWAYS wears cowboy boots!! So when we walk in some place together we look total opposite. She tells me I always look overdressed, but that's just me, I like to look and feel feminine. Not saying I can't wear jeans and a t-shirt but it's not my norm. I'll save the t-shirts and jeans for working in my yard lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 FF -- You know I like you but that exchange was very off putting & in-your-face overtly sexual . . . it reads like you are objectifying her. While I generally dress in a feminine manner for a 1st date (or most dates with DH) your attempt at flirtation was too sexual too soon for a pre-meeting OLD exchange. There are different kinds of jeans & t shirts -- some more sexy others more sloppy. Rather than being turned off already, dial back the banter. I think she was trying to redirect your expectations. You made it sound like you were hoping she was going to show up in an easy access micro mini skirt. 24 Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm with you on this. I like a woman to dress like a woman and look feminine. However, I also love when she can pull off the comfortable t-shirt and jeans and still look like a knockout. Have you seen her in that before? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) Thing is... She could be taking about some ultra hot jeans and a crop top. I wear jeans and a t shirt everywhere, but they look more stylish and cost more than 98% of everyone else's clothes. I get into the most difficult doors in Manhattan and South Beach in "jeans and a t shirt" So check her pics out to seet what her style is like before worrying about it. Edited May 6, 2015 by loveweary11 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm with you on this. I like a woman to dress like a woman and look feminine. However, I also love when she can pull off the comfortable t-shirt and jeans and still look like a knockout. **Have you seen her in that before?** Dude, the OP has not even met her yet...ugh. Agree with d0nnivain..had a man used that line of questioning with me BEFORE having even met me ...there would be no first meet.... Completely inappropriate and as d0nnivain said, off-putting...and just a huge turn off. But back to the OP's question, I am a low rise tight fitting jeans gal, and ALL my boyfriends thought I was sexy as hell. Then again, they thought (and think) I am sexy as hell no matter what I'm wearing. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I would've also been really turned off at the line of questioning. I mean, have you already planned out your own outfit for next week? If not, you better get going. And be sure it's sexy enough. Anyway, there are a lot of ways that jeans and a t-shirt can be sexy, particularly skinny jeans and form fitting shirts with heels. I seriously doubt she's planning on showing up in baggy jeans and an XXL Miller Lite t-shirt. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Me - Already planning your outfit for next week? Her - It's crossed my mind Me - I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with Her - We'll see. I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman I know this thread is not about your style of communication with women but I have to say that, even I, would find this a little too pushy. It would make me feel you're more interested in checking me out than in getting to know about me. We KNOW a first meeting is about checking each other out but try not to be SO obvious about it. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I too find women who wear t-shirt and jeans all the time lazy and lackluster, and I'm a woman. I used to wear rock t-shirts and jeans a lot, but I never ever wore them out on a date, or if so, at least a jacket over or substitute a miniskirt for the jeans. Some real hot women, though, at least where I live (Texas) don't bother to even try because they're hot enough they can date whoever they want anyway. The cream of the crop here or dating's Most Wanted is preppie-ish blonds, and they are the most underdressed group around, seen anywhere wearing yoga pants and a ponytail, no makeup. Lazy. But worse than lazy, if I see someone who isn't inspired to at least dress up a little sometimes, I know they don't have any creativity about them. I don't mind guys who wear t-shirt and jeans a whole lot, but I prefer one who adds little rockstar touches or really styles his hair or has cool boots or just something. As for the questioning, it's not unreasonable to feel out how someone is dressing on a date because you don't want one to be wearing a suit and the other to be wearing Daisy Dukes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 There's nothing wrong with Jeans on a date unless its a really upscale restaurant or something. I wear nice Jeans on most of my dates with a decent top. I think you're being a bit picky FFan Loosen up a bit. If the date is really casual, there's nothing wrong with a T Shirt - especially early on. Also while some girls like to joke around a bit, maybe she thought you were going a bit over the top suggesting what she was going to wear would be sexy - and it was nothing more than a rebuff. Honestly sounds like she could be a bit more serious-minded. Food for thought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 How do you know she wasn't talking about form fitting jeans? What was she wearing in her pictures on OKC? I'm personally quite fond of skinny jeans and heels/wedges myself. Not a fan of too many sun dresses *blech*. She had a few pics up. One in a bridesmaid dress and the other in a more casual outfit. I don't mind casual sometimes. But I also like women who enjoy feeling desired and being confident. So in her own words she's a "big t-shirt and jeans woman". This tells me she usually likes to dress down. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 She had a few pics up. One in a bridesmaid dress and the other in a more casual outfit. I don't mind casual sometimes. But I also like women who enjoy feeling desired and being confident. So in her own words she's a "big t-shirt and jeans woman". This tells me she usually likes to dress down. Who knows maybe suddenly you will get a liking in Jeans & t-shirt girls! Scarlett Johansson looks pretty good in jeans & t-shirt. Link to post Share on other sites
SingleDude Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 So basically you want her to look like a slut? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Me - I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with Did you actually deliver that line, just like that? imo, nothing wrong with t-shirt and jeans as long as it's not only ever t-shirt and jeans. I dress however I want, in a variety of different ways and levels, depending on what's going on and what I feel like. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 So basically you want her to look like a slut? Since when liking women in dresses is equivalent of liking them slutty?? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 There's nothing wrong with Jeans on a date unless its a really upscale restaurant or something. I wear nice Jeans on most of my dates with a decent top. I think you're being a bit picky FFan Loosen up a bit. If the date is really casual, there's nothing wrong with a T Shirt - especially early on. Also while some girls like to joke around a bit, maybe she thought you were going a bit over the top suggesting what she was going to wear would be sexy - and it was nothing more than a rebuff. Honestly sounds like she could be a bit more serious-minded. Food for thought. Me asking if she'd planned her outfit yet, looking forward to her sexy choice, etc was really me just joking around. The fact that a first together is super casual is what makes it funny IMO. So you misunderstood from that aspect dude. What turned me off though is when she said "I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman". This tells me how she dresses on a regular basis. So if I have a preference for women that enjoy being feminine, it wouldn't be a good match long term with a woman that likes to dress down all the time. That's what I am saying. BTW - Cinnamon you made me literally laugh out loud with what you said about saving it for doing yard work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 imo, nothing wrong with t-shirt and jeans as long as it's not only ever t-shirt and jeans. I dress however I want, in a variety of different ways and levels, depending on what's going on and what I feel like. Exactly. Casual sometimes depending on the mood and activity is more than cool. After all, if you're doing something activity based like indoor rock climbing she isn't going to be wearing a skirt and heels. But as you say, if it was ALWAYS the "t-shirt and jeans" mentality of constantly dressing down, that to me is a turn off. So it wasn't what she said in relation to the get together. It was what she said about how she dresses on a regular basis. Link to post Share on other sites
Vercetti Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 What men consider t shirts and women consider are two different things. A woman can pop on a vneck covered in lace with butterfly shoulders that slinks across and enhances hourglass shape flaired out at the bottom made out of nice fabric. T-shirt and women does not equal boxy cotten Wal-Mart crap with a deathmetal band on the front. If it does then can have a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I don't mean to be rude (of course saying that in and of itself is a cop out, haha), but did you ever consider that she was just trying to play off, respectfully, a very awkward comment from you? She let you get away with being at LEAST borderline creepy. You are strangers. You've never met. And already she already feels like you are judging her appearance. Pro tip: all people (women overtly, men subtly) hate feeling like they have to worry about impressing you. People try because they feel they have to in order for people to see them positively...but it's a covert contract that people understand but want to ignore. Now in her mind she will only be considering if you approve of her outfit and how she looks. Poor girl. I'm surprised she's even still considering meeting you. You got away with one. I'm sure she will look good. Just move on from the comment and understand it is selfish to put that burden on her. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
SingleDude Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Since when liking women in dresses is equivalent of liking them slutty?? Meh, I was being sarcastic. Link to post Share on other sites
Paterlany Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Always in jean and t-shirts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) I don't mean to be rude (of course saying that in and of itself is a cop out, haha), but did you ever consider that she was just trying to play off, respectfully, a very awkward comment from you? She let you get away with being at LEAST borderline creepy. You are strangers. You've never met. And already she already feels like you are judging her appearance. Pro tip: all people (women overtly, men subtly) hate feeling like they have to worry about impressing you. People try because they feel they have to in order for people to see them positively...but it's a covert contract that people understand but want to ignore. Now in her mind she will only be considering if you approve of her outfit and how she looks. Poor girl. I'm surprised she's even still considering meeting you. You got away with one. I'm sure she will look good. Just move on from the comment and understand it is selfish to put that burden on her. As I said, I was joking around with her. "Picked out your outfit yet", "sexy choice", etc.. A first get together is super casual and the idea of preparing that far ahead for something so casual is funny to me. But she was telling me how she always dresses in general. But your post is a prime example of what's wrong with dating in general. Some men and women actually appreciate effort. They want to stay in shape, look good and feel desired by the person they're with. This lazy complacent mindset of "Who cares if they're impressed, I'll do what I want" sucks. Also, I get that in today's "gender equality" society a man isn't supposed to act like one. However, I flirt, I'm direct, and I express attraction. If a woman doesn't like basic male attention she shouldn't be dating men. Here's a story for you : I had a good first meet with a woman once. So then I called her and invited her out on a dinner date for the next time we saw each other. She said she wanted to meet there. So I showed up a bit early to confirm the reservation. She walks up in a ratty tie-dye shirt, torn jean shorts, and worn out sandals. So I tell her "I just found this out, but they lost the reservation and say it will be another hour." So then we walked next door to the mall, and I bought her a $5 slice of Sbarro''s and never called her again. I found her lack of effort completely disrespectful and there was no way in hell I was spending my hard earned money on a dinner for her. Edited May 6, 2015 by fitnessfan365 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Why are you so fixated on the notion of a single text being a defining moment for her on anything? Link to post Share on other sites
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