T-shirt and jeans women

[katiegrl]

Well, your hope would be unfounded. Because just a while back on this very thread a nice young lady said she prefers sandals and flip-flops for evening.

 

And the OP is taking his date to a nice restaurant and she has informed him she's a t-shirts and jeans girl. So you can't assume anything. My guess is he will not take her where he originally planned unless she is just yanking his chain and shows up dressed appropriately for a nice first dinner date.

 

preraph, this is not a first *date* ...it's a first *meet.* As the OP has acknowledged many times himself, a first meet is NOT a date.

 

A first meet is casual and low key. Coffee, ice cream, stuff like that, to meet and gauge chemistry.

 

Not an elaborate dinner date....not to mention the OP *specifically* stated he does not know where they are going.

 

But given what he has expressed previously re first MEETS, it will most likely be ice cream or a stroll around a book store....something low key. Wherein jeans and tee or casual blouse *would* be the appropriate attire.

Edited May 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[preraph]

preraph, this is not a first *date* ...it's a first *meet.* As the OP has acknowledged many times himself, a first meet is NOT a date.

 

A first meet is casual and low key. Coffee, ice cream, stuff like that, to meet and gauge chemistry.

 

Not an elaborate dinner date....not to mention the OP *specifically* stated he does not know where they are going.

 

But given what he has expressed previously re first MEETS, it will most likely be ice cream or a stroll around a book store....something low key. Wherein jeans and tee or casual blouse *would* be the appropriate attire.

 

Katie you're completely choosing to ignore the most important content of OP's first post. SHE said she mostly wears jeans and tee shirts. SHE told him that. She did not say she only wears that on a first meet. She said that's how she is. He doesn't like women who make a habit of dressing grubby and that's his right.

[jen1447]

Most of this has been covered before I think ....t shirt and jeans ≠ grubby automatically, the statement was likely actually a "down boy" to FF's clunker line, one sentence from one text is hardly indicative of a woman's sensibilities, etc.

[fitnessfan365]

Wow, misremember much? All I said was that I wouldn't necessarily immediately mention my boyfriend when rejecting another guy. The context was a woman who didn't bring up her boyfriend immediately and the insinuation that she must not be really serious about him. If I recall correctly there were multiple female posters who felt the same as I.

 

It is beyond insulting to suggest that I don't love my boyfriend very much, especially when it has no relevance to this thread, and suggests you are lashing out wildly with a wounded ego rather than address the many, many sensible points people have made here. Until you're willing to seriously consider that online dating---and even online discussions!---are not all about you, all the time, I'm out.

 

It's funny. I've been the only one to repeatedly try and steer the thread off me back to the topic. Yet every page has women making personal attacks putting the focus on me. However, according to you, I'm the one making it all about me..OK

 

Secondly how does me saying "You have a BF you love" imply that you don't love your BF? I was simply referencing a view point of yours I don't agree with. Back then you stressed repeatedly that you don't feel the need to tell guys that hit on you that you have a BF. That your decision to reject a guy has nothing to do with him. But it obviously does. So why hide the fact that you have a boyfriend when you do love him so much? That's all I'm saying.

[fitnessfan365]

Katie you're completely choosing to ignore the most important content of OP's first post. SHE said she mostly wears jeans and tee shirts. SHE told him that. She did not say she only wears that on a first meet. She said that's how she is. He doesn't like women who make a habit of dressing grubby and that's his right.

 

THANK YOU!

 

Here is the other thing everyone is ignoring. At the end of the text convo that every woman says would "creep them out" she re-confirmed that I'd call when I say. She also stressed she wants to set something up. So doesn't the fact that she wants to see me, show she likes my personality? If she didn't, she never would have emphasized wanting to still make plans.

 

As always I never claimed that my approach wouldn't bother some women. It obviously has here. I've always spoken just for the women that go out with me. Since they liked my personality and how I handle myself, it was never wrong to them. That's why I refuse to apologize for being myself. All the women here can disagree and be creeped out. That's their right. But it doesn't change the fact that the women who I date enjoy how I act.

[Gaeta]

So doesn't the fact that she wants to see me, show she likes my personality?

 

Not at all, it just means she decided to let it slide and see how you are in person. I've done that 10s of times.

[katiegrl]

Katie you're completely choosing to ignore the most important content of OP's first post. SHE said she mostly wears jeans and tee shirts. SHE told him that. She did not say she only wears that on a first meet. She said that's how she is. He doesn't like women who make a habit of dressing grubby and that's his right.

 

I understand that .... and that IS his right. In fact I don't know too many people who would like or appreciate someone who they are meeting for the first time dressing *grubby.*

 

What I am failing to understand though is how jeans and tee (or casual top) equals grubby!

 

Nor do I understand how he equates jeans and casual top to a woman NOT feeling sexy, feminine or desirous. That's ludicrous! It is also quite a presumption on his part, hence why many of us deem him to be presumptuous (arrogant).

 

As I and other women have stated, jeans and a nice tee/casual top can be VERY sexy, feminine and HOT! And we feel sexy, feminine, hot and desirous wearing it!

 

But he prefers sexy dresses which is also his prerogative... I acknowledge that.

 

So he threw it out there, and she responded by saying she is a big tee and jeans girl so "we'll see."

 

Sounds like sarcasm to me if not flat out annoyance by the suggestion or implication that she wear a sexy outfit.

 

But even though he claims he said it as a joke, HE took her response literally and seriously and is turned off...

 

The bottom line is ...he has NO idea what she prefers to wear, or what she makes a habit of wearing...he is basing his presumption that she dresses "grubby" (your word) on her one response to his rather suggestive remark, which she may have been, and probably was, put off by.

Edited May 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[fitnessfan365]

Not at all, it just means she decided to let it slide and see how you are in person. I've done that 10s of times.

 

Haha.. You're actually taking pride in the fact that you've been unsuccessful with men "10's" of times? The fact that you'd still meet that many men who you say did something to creep you out speaks for itself.

 

I mean seriously Gaeta. You're a sexy woman and I usually like you posts. But based on you dating history, where do you get off criticizing anyone? You do more jumping around than a kid playing hopscotch. Secondly, I've gone on record repeatedly saying I like to wait much longer to have sex. People have even questioned why I don't have sex early on. Yet, my motives are solely sex based? A man can flirt, have a high sex drive, and have physical preferences without being solely motivated by sex. Being selective before meeting is not a character flaw.

 

The bottom line is ...he has NO idea what she prefers to wear, or what she makes a habit of wearing...he is basing his presumption that she dresses "grubby" (your word) on her one response to his rather suggestive remark, which she may have been, and probably was, put off by.

 

Hmm.. Her flat out telling me she usually likes to wear jeans and t-shirts is pretty indicative of her style preferences. I just find it funny that so many women on here are making assumptions about what the text convo means and what her "tone" was, when I'm the one that's talked to her on the phone and been the recipient of her texting style. I am telling all of you. It was NOT her making a sarcastic comment to "calm me down". She was simply telling me how she usually likes to dress. It's that simple. All the women here have done way too much over thinking and vilification to just look at it simply for what it is.

 

At least Pre is thinking clearly.

Edited May 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[xxoo]

Hmm.. Her flat out telling me she usually likes to wear jeans and t-shirts is pretty indicative of her style preferences. I just find it funny that so many women on here are making assumptions about what the text convo means and what her "tone" was, when I'm the one that's talked to her on the phone and been the recipient of her texting style. I am telling all of you. It was NOT her making a sarcastic comment to "calm me down". She was simply telling me how she usually likes to dress. It's that simple. All the women here have done way too much over thinking and vilification to just look at it simply for what it is.

 

At least Pre is thinking clearly.

 

But you were joking with the questioning angle. Doesn't it follow that she was joking with the response? You can't asking questions jokingly and then take answers as gospel truth

[losangelena]

FF, if you prefer the women you date to dress feminine, or if sloppy, jeans-and-tees casual is a turn off for you, and this woman dresses that way, then don't date her—simple as.

 

I think you're jumping the gun a bit, as you've yet to even meet her. If she shows up for your first date looking like a Duck Dynasty extra, then there might be cause for concern.

 

As for your original question, I tend to keep things more on the casual side (this is a highly subjective term, though, I would never wear yoga pants and sloppy sweats anywhere but at home, or the gym). I'm a pretty low-maintenance lady, so when I was dating, I'd tend to show up in an elevated version of what I'd normally wear. I would never go on a date wearing a mini skirt and heels because I'd never be caught dead in clothes like that, period; it's not my style, and it's not flattering on me. That doesn't mean I look sloppy or unkempt, but I'm not going to provide a false representation of myself for the sake of impressing a man I don't know. "Dressing sexy" was never high on the priority list when I was meeting men, it was more about presenting the best version of me, but a version that was still authentic.

[Phoe]

Most of this has been covered before I think ....t shirt and jeans ≠ grubby automatically, the statement was likely actually a "down boy" to FF's clunker line, one sentence from one text is hardly indicative of a woman's sensibilities, etc.

 

agreed.

 

it may actually have some truth to it, it might not, but I think the overall reason behind her saying that was to get him off the "oooh yeah sexy clothes" topic.

[katiegrl]

Haha.. You're actually taking pride in the fact that you've been unsuccessful with men "10's" of times? The fact that you'd still meet that many men who you say did something to creep you out speaks for itself.

 

I mean seriously Gaeta. You're a sexy woman and I usually like you posts. But based on you dating history, where do you get off criticizing anyone? You do more jumping around than a kid playing hopscotch. Secondly, I've gone on record repeatedly saying I like to wait much longer to have sex. People have even questioned why I don't have sex early on. Yet, my motives are solely sex based? A man can flirt, have a high sex drive, and have physical preferences without being solely motivated by sex. Being selective before meeting is not a character flaw.

 

 

 

Hmm.. Her flat out telling me she usually likes to wear jeans and t-shirts is pretty indicative of her style preferences. I just find it funny that so many women on here are making assumptions about what the text convo means and what her "tone" was, when I'm the one that's talked to her on the phone and been the recipient of her texting style. I am telling all of you. It was NOT her making a sarcastic comment to "calm me down". She was simply telling me how she usually likes to dress. It's that simple. All the women here have done way too much over thinking and vilification to just look at it simply for what it is.

 

At least Pre is thinking clearly.

 

Sorry is that what she actually said? Did you have *another* conversation wherein she said she usually likes to wear jeans and t-shirts?

 

Cause going by your original post, all she said was she's a jeans and tee girl, and she may have said it as sarcasm or annoyance (or as a joke) in response to your *joke*.

 

Again, you are making one big presumption about her and how she "usually " likes to dress based in one extremely ambiguous text exchange. Can you not see how unfair that is????

 

Why don't you save the presumptions and judgments, and just go meet her IN PERSON, and decide after that whether or not she's your type or not?

 

And of course you're gonna say pre's got it right. She's the only one after 15 pages who agrees with you! Duh. .

Edited May 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[fitnessfan365]

But you were joking with the questioning angle. Doesn't it follow that she was joking with the response? You can't asking questions jokingly and then take answers as gospel truth

 

The outfit planning for a casual first meet in the future that's not locked down yet - yes. That was joking.

 

BUT... She was not talking about how she'd dress on a first meet. Her saying "I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman" is her simply saying how she likes to dress in general. Women here keeping saying I have no idea how she dresses usually. But why can't they just take what she said at face value?

 

Now I will own that maybe her idea of t-shirt and jeans is different than mine. But, if a woman usually likes to wear t-shirt and jeans most of the time, she probably won't be wearing dresses, heels, and other really feminine outfits on a regular basis. That's why she says she is a t-shirt and jeans woman.

[barcode88]

Katie you're completely choosing to ignore the most important content of OP's first post. SHE said she mostly wears jeans and tee shirts. SHE told him that. She did not say she only wears that on a first meet. She said that's how she is. He doesn't like women who make a habit of dressing grubby and that's his right.

 

In all fairness, you can't take her statement at face value. She probably felt uncomfortable with his implication that she wear something sexy (yes I know he technically didn't ASK)... So she decided to sht test him by saying she wears Jeans/Tshirt. She wants to see if FF will stick around for her personality, or if he's only interested in what she wears.

 

She probably was originally planning on wearing appropriate clothing.

[Satu]

In my world everybody gets to be who they are, and can wear what they want.

[amaysngrace]

one sentence from one text is hardly indicative of a woman's sensibilities, etc.

 

Yeah....one sentence can only be so revealing if FF is saying it, dammit!

[Gaeta]

Haha.. You're actually taking pride in the fact that you've been unsuccessful with men "10's" of times? The fact that you'd still meet that many men who you say did something to creep you out speaks for itself.

 

I mean seriously Gaeta. You're a sexy woman and I usually like you posts. But based on you dating history, where do you get off criticizing anyone? You do more jumping around than a kid playing hopscotch. Secondly, I've gone on record repeatedly saying I like to wait much longer to have sex. People have even questioned why I don't have sex early on. Yet, my motives are solely sex based? A man can flirt, have a high sex drive, and have physical preferences without being solely motivated by sex. Being selective before meeting is not a character flaw.

 

You are being unfair. I don't jump from one man to another, I don't take pride in unsuccessful relationships, I pride myself in moving on expeditiously when a prospect is not suitable.

 

You misinterpreted my post. I have never accused you of being chasing after sex, not at all, and I know you are not. What I was saying is it's how you probably appeared to that woman because you are pure strangers to one another and there you are making sexual innuendos.

 

ALSO, you think she is pursuing next date because she likes your style, no, I am saying she let the bad joke slide, like I do often, to give the guy a break.

Edited May 7, 2015 by Gaeta

[d0nnivain]

I just find it funny that so many women on here are making assumptions about what the text convo means and what her "tone" was, when I'm the one that's talked to her on the phone and been the recipient of her texting style. I am telling all of you. It was NOT her making a sarcastic comment to "calm me down". She was simply telling me how she usually likes to dress. It's that simple. All the women here have done way too much over thinking and vilification to just look at it simply for what it is.

 

Since you are the one who talked to her you clearly have more info then we do.

 

When I said that her comment about jeans & sneakers was an attempt to redirect the conversation, I thought that was a possible theory.

 

Had some guy I had not yet met from OLD said that to me he would have gotten an earful starting with

who the <

bleep

> do you think you are telling me how I should dress & thinking that you are

so

all fired important or that I am

so

vapid I need a whole week to plan my outfit?

Your text did not come across as playful or flirtatious, although it's obvious that was your intent. It came across as demeaning, insulting and waaaayyyyy too sexual for a comment between two strangers. It's barely a step above nice a$$, honey. The fact that you refuse to concede this point is a concern. There are certain lines gentleman should not cross.

 

From a guy I had met, was flirty with or was already sleeping with, a request for a sexy outfit would be met with compliance but as an opening salvo, hell no.

 

In the end you may be right. She may be too casual, not enough of a your kind of girl girl but that still doesn't mean you get to objectify women in a failed attempt to be flirtatious.

[clia]

I can't wait to find out what this woman actually wears on the meetup this weekend. Be sure to keep us updated!

[Sunfire73]

For a first meet, i usually wear skinny jeans with heels and a nice top. But when i first met my bf i was just wearing shorts and a nice top with high wedge flip flop since it was summer. When we go out for dates, like on special occasions, i usually wear dresses, while for casual dates, it's skinny jeans/nice top/heels or casual dresses and wear make up. When we just stay in, i wear more comfy clothes like shorts, tanks, yoga pants, casual dresses, no make up.

[katiegrl]

The outfit planning for a casual first meet in the future that's not locked down yet - yes. That was joking.

 

BUT... She was not talking about how she'd dress on a first meet. Her saying "I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman" is her simply saying how she likes to dress in general. Women here keeping saying I have no idea how she dresses usually. But why can't they just take what she said at face value?

 

Now I will own that maybe her idea of t-shirt and jeans is different than mine. But, if a woman usually likes to wear t-shirt and jeans most of the time, she probably won't be wearing dresses, heels, and other really feminine outfits on a regular basis. That's why she says she is a t-shirt and jeans woman.

 

Taking her response at face value?

 

Does that mean YOUR remarks/suggestions should be taken at face value also?

 

I thought you said they were made as a joke????

 

So she should assume YOUR comment was a joke, but her response should be taken at face value?

 

This makes no absolutely no sense to me....

[jen1447]

Point: bad form calling out Gaeta and lana-banana on personal issues that aren't the subject of this thread.

[preraph]

I understand that .... and that IS his right. In fact I don't know too many people who would like or appreciate someone who they are meeting for the first time dressing *grubby.*

 

What I am failing to understand though is how jeans and tee (or casual top) equals grubby!

 

SHE did not say "or casual top." She said she's a jeans and t shirt girl. That's it. If you'd read any of the earlier posts, you'd see that I've already made the point about how easy it would be to dress jeans up by wearing a decent feminine blouse and a jacket or cardigan and clunky necklace. That's different than "jeans and t shirt." The only way you can get more casual than that is wearing sweats and a hoodie. Under no theory is jeans and a t shirt at all dressy or right for a nice restaurant. FF said he drops $150 on these dates.

 

And just fyi, I own probably 40 t-shirts. They have their place. Out on a first date is not one of them unless you're going to do something athletic.

[preraph]

Sorry is that what she actually said? Did you have *another* conversation wherein she said she usually likes to wear jeans and t-shirts?

 

 

God, Katie! Read the first post!!! That's exactly what she said.

[fitnessfan365]

SHE did not say "or casual top." She said she's a jeans and t shirt girl. That's it. If you'd read any of the earlier posts, you'd see that I've already made the point about how easy it would be to dress jeans up by wearing a decent feminine blouse and a jacket or cardigan and clunky necklace. That's different than "jeans and t shirt." The only way you can get more casual than that is wearing sweats and a hoodie. Under no theory is jeans and a t shirt at all dressy or right for a nice restaurant. FF said he drops $150 on these dates.

 

And just fyi, I own probably 40 t-shirts. They have their place. Out on a first date is not one of them unless you're going to do something athletic.

 

I am glad you get where I am coming from.

 

But i did want to clear something up. This would be a casual first meet. Not a dinner date. But what she said about being a jeans and tshirt woman in general makes me wonder how she usually dresses. So I am glad that we're on the same page there.

 

Secondly, I wouldn't usually plan a dinner date that early on. I did it that one time with the women who I had the good first meet with. For some reason it just felt like the thing to do. But under normal circumstances, I save dinner dates for a woman I am more serious with and do really low key and fun activity dates in the beginning.