T-shirt and jeans women

[Phoe]

FF, many women will appreciate your version of flirtiness if you just wait a teensy bit until you're more well acquainted with her.

 

Give it a few more dates.

 

I don't get why you would choose a tactic that has a good chance to be offputting, when you could just tone down the tactic for a short amount of time before finally letting that loose, and likely be much more appealing to far more many women. Just by simply waiting a bit.

 

Her response, IMO, shows that she wasn't terribly thrilled with what you said.

[Breezee]

For me it depends on where we're going. Casual night would call for jeans and a nice top with wedge sandals. The only time I've ever worn a dress is to a fancy restaurant for dinner and/or dancing. I'm not a sundress type person.

[fitnessfan365]

As long as you realize she is probably sht testing you Even if she DOES show up a bit more casually dressed than usual, it's most likely a test to see if you will bail or stick around.

 

It's definitely true that some women test. However, I wouldn't want to date them anyways. There are plenty of women out there that don't play high school games. So when you're 100% authentic from the get go, and you take what a woman says/does at face value, it's a win-win regardless. Either she's being genuine and it's not a good fit, or she's testing your intentions which means she's a game player. In either case, she's not for me.

[RedRobin]

But in response to what you said, before a man knows you, he sees you as a sexual object.

 

 

Stop projecting, dude. You can't possibly speak for all men.

 

 

What we are telling you is that you are doing a really crappy job pretending to give a shyte about getting to know her.

 

 

No self-respecting woman would appreciate having their clothing dictated by a complete stranger, unless the context is purely sexual. Ok, we get it that you are pushing the sexual angle.

 

 

It backfired this time. You don't like being challenged. Well, waaah.

 

 

To answer your question... I dress however I feel like it, and yea, sometimes I dress to eff with a guy's head if I feel like it. Or cover up my body if I don't feel safe or accepted. That's not playing games. You show little or no sensitivity to the very real concerns that the women here have demonstrated. Of course you are getting pushback.

 

 

Tell us again why your clothing needs are so important? What are you bringing to the table that justifies telling her what to wear?

 

 

It seems like you are the one playing games and doing some little boy tactics to see what you can get away with... your impatience shows your lack of maturity.

Edited May 7, 2015 by RedRobin

[ClickToRead]

I dress very feminine. I do live in Florida though, so sandals (not flip-flops) are a staple in my wardrobe. I do not wear jeans, or pants. Ever. I wear shorts, skirts, small tops, dress tops, dresses, etc... but not Wal-Mart junk.

[barcode88]

It's definitely true that some women test. However, I wouldn't want to date them anyways. There are plenty of women out there that don't play high school games. So when you're 100% authentic from the get go, and you take what a woman says/does at face value, it's a win-win regardless. Either she's being genuine and it's not a good fit, or she's testing your intentions which means she's a game player. In either case, she's not for me.

 

A lot of Women sh it test, I wouldn't really consider it high school games. It's just their way of seeing what a guy will do and whether he fits the bill.

 

In this case she wanted to make sure that you weren't only interested in her because of her sexy outfits. I think you're reaching a bit by saying "testing your intentions" is being a game player, she is doing that so she doesn't get hurt by some ******* (not saying you are here by any means).

 

 

It's OK to be wrong once in a while, I usually am more often than not

[katiegrl]

It's definitely true that some women test. However, I wouldn't want to date them anyways. There are plenty of women out there that don't play high school games. So when you're 100% authentic from the get go, and you take what a woman says/does at face value, it's a win-win regardless. Either she's being genuine and it's not a good fit, or she's testing your intentions which means she's a game player. In either case, she's not for me.

 

Exactly, just like you were testing her when you made the comment to her, to gauge her reaction......... and when you asked another chick you met off the internet if she was gonna wear one of her *sexy* outfits she had posted in her profile (again for the first MEET).....she agreed, but then tested you right back when she showed up in ripped up jeans and flip flops!

 

You didn't even realize she was testing you (just like you tested her)...so you got turned off and took her for a quick slice of pizza!

 

She *could* have been the sexiest, most submissive chick you've ever been with....but you will never know, because of all the dumb testing you do, which they usually fail or test you right back....the end result being the whole thing blows up in smoke.... and you're still alone!

Edited May 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[Rejected Rosebud]

What turned me off though is when she said "I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman". This tells me how she dresses on a regular basis.

probly but she also might have been trying to back you off because of your kind of inappropriate (to me) comments about her outfits, that is too personal! I wonder if you will actually end up meeting her with your concerns about what she dresses like and how you came on to her it does not sound promising!

[ClickToRead]

 

Me - Already planning your outfit for next week?

Her - It's crossed my mind

Me - I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with

Her - We'll see. I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman

 

 

I thought the OPs messages were funny. If I was that woman, I would have turned that conversation into comedy gold.

[katiegrl]

I thought the OPs messages were funny. If I was that woman, I would have turned that conversation into comedy gold.

 

fitnessfan meet ClickToRead --- we have a match!!!! :bunny:

[barcode88]

I thought the OPs messages were funny. If I was that woman, I would have turned that conversation into comedy gold.

 

No - I agree I thought it was a bold move... I've done similar bold moves that were well received.

 

But they won't always be received well especially if there's sexual overtones. She took it rather well, she was just messing with him in return to see if he was being *serious* or joking about it - she probably doesn't want to date someone who demands sexy outfits on a first date.

[RedRobin]

Here's an example: I had a first date awhile back with someone who had only seen my in a professional context. Dressed well, but not sexy.

 

 

He claimed to be into the outdoors and saving the planet, yada yada (just like me), so I wore my hiking boots, a pair of skinny jeans, and a cute top. My initial impression before the date was that he was a bit of a goomba, and his interest in the outdoors was purely theoretical.

 

 

As it turns out, I was correct, gauging by his reaction. Funny, I saw him in a meeting recently where I was more dolled up, and he made a point of checking me out. Mr. Goomba couldn't possibly be into the outdoors and saving the planet if he was gawking at dolled up women. *shrug* Mission accomplished from my end.

 

 

Flash forward to current boyfriend, who is a world class athlete and competitor. He claimed to want a partner in those adventures, and was looking for a serious relationship. For most of our early dates, I had minimal makeup. The temps at the time were below zero. I came to my first date with clothing that demonstrated my interest in high peaks climbing and outdoor adventures. We walked outside together in the below zero. After we got to know each other a bit better, I whipped out the platform boots, skinny jeans, and push up bras. Win-Win.

 

 

I know how to bait my hook for the fish I'm trying to catch. It's not a test, really. Definitely not a game. I'm just not interested in men who are primarily motivated by what goes on below the belt.

 

 

 

 

Edited: I would have turned it into comedy gold too, but I wouldn't take him seriously as a dating prospect.

Edited May 7, 2015 by RedRobin

[fitnessfan365]

FF, many women will appreciate your version of flirtiness if you just wait a teensy bit until you're more well acquainted with her.

 

Give it a few more dates.

 

I don't get why you would choose a tactic that has a good chance to be offputting, when you could just tone down the tactic for a short amount of time before finally letting that loose, and likely be much more appealing to far more many women. Just by simply waiting a bit.

 

Her response, IMO, shows that she wasn't terribly thrilled with what you said.

 

I can respect what you're saying. Also, I can only speak for the women I've met through OLD. It obviously doesn't appeal to all women in general as this thread has shown.

 

But here is another POV for you :

 

1) Real life intro. Basic chemistry, flirting, etc.. The women now feels comfortable and excited to reconnect in person. In her mind it's a "date".

 

2) OLD intro. The women has her guard up and it's a stranger. A guy is cautious and scared to offend. There's no sense of familiarity or basic tension leading in, so both people are on edge and it falls flat.

 

So when I talk to her on the phone for the first time, and trade those few initial texts, I act like I approached her in person. This has one of two results. The first is that it gets a reaction like with the women here. If so, we're simply not a good fit personality wise. The second is that she starts to feel more comfortable, lets her guard down, and actually gets excited to meet. These are the women I meet in person. So as long as we're both satisfied with the visual, that same energy carries over. This is why the women I meet with say that they're on "dates" and not "meets".

 

I honestly believe that if more people tried to build some sort of initial comfort and tension before meeting, so many meets wouldn't feel like awkward interviews.

[barcode88]

I can respect what you're saying. Also, I can only speak for the women I've met through OLD. It obviously doesn't appeal to all women in general as this thread has shown.

 

But here is another POV for you :

 

1) Real life intro. Basic chemistry, flirting, etc.. The women now feels comfortable and excited to reconnect in person. In her mind it's a "date".

 

2) OLD intro. The women has her guard up and it's a stranger. A guy is cautious and scared to offend. There's no sense of familiarity or basic tension leading in, so both people are on edge and it falls flat.

 

So when I talk to her on the phone for the first time, and trade those few initial texts, I act like I approached her in person. This has one of two results. The first is that it gets a reaction like with the women here. If so, we're simply not a good fit personality wise. The second is that she starts to feel more comfortable, lets her guard down, and actually gets excited to meet. These are the women I meet in person. So as long as we're both satisfied with the visual, that same energy carries over. This is why the women I meet with say that they're on "dates" and not "meets".

 

I honestly believe that if more people tried to build some sort of initial comfort and tension before meeting, so many meets wouldn't feel like awkward interviews.

 

Let's just chalk it up as you two aren't compatible, I don't think she did anything wrong by any means.

 

Some Women keep their guard up until AFTER you've met, and prefer not to get too familiar beforehand. Perfectly normal.

 

You can't write a one-size-fits-all formula for ALL Women

[fitnessfan365]

Exactly, just like you were testing her when you made the comment to her, to gauge her reaction......... and when you asked another chick you met off the internet if she was gonna wear one of her *sexy* outfits she had posted in her profile (again for the first MEET).....she agreed, but then tested you right back when she showed up in ripped up jeans and flip flops!

 

You didn't even realize she was testing you (just like you tested her)...so you got turned off and took her for a quick slice of pizza!

 

She *could* have been the sexiest, most submissive chick you've ever been with....but you will never know, because of all the dumb testing you do, which they usually fail or test you right back....the end result being the whole thing blows up in smoke.... and you're still alone!

 

Katie, sometimes you really do forget things and mess up details. As I've said many times previously with that other woman, it was NOT the first meet. We already had the first meet. Since we were both fitness junkies, we met up and did an outdoor workout together. It was a lot of fun, we got along great, and it ended with a kiss close. She texted me a hour later saying she couldn't wait to see me again.

 

So the next day I called her on the phone and asked her out for a dinner date. When she accepted, I said in passing "I bet that dress from your profile would look great on you". She said "I bet it would" and we made plans. I offered to pick her up, but she said it was easier for us to meet there. Then you know the rest. Now if she didn't want to wear that exact dress, she easily could have chosen a happy medium that was still attractive looking. But she put zero effort in.

 

Let's just chalk it up as you two aren't compatible, I don't think she did anything wrong by any means.

 

Some Women keep their guard up until AFTER you've met, and prefer not to get too familiar beforehand. Perfectly normal.

 

You can't write a one-size-fits-all formula for ALL Women

 

Agree with this 100% dude. I've said the same thing many times that all women are different. Also, I've said more than once that I'm cool with how she dresses if that's what she likes. It just isn't what I'm attracted to on a regular basis. I've also said many times in the thread that I don't expect all women to click with my personality or how I handle myself before a OLD meet. But it does help to screen the type of women I'd like to meet in person. That's why I'm saying the experience with her and the experience with Ms UK was a great compare and contrast. Ms UK digs my personality, and the other woman was put off by it.

Edited May 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[barcode88]

Katie, sometimes you really do forget things and mess up details. As I've said many times previously with that other woman, it was NOT the first meet. We already had the first meet. Since we were both fitness junkies, we met up and did an outdoor workout together. It was a lot of fun, we got along great, and it ended with a kiss close. She texted me a hour later saying she couldn't wait to see me again.

 

So the next day I called her on the phone and asked her out for a dinner date. When she accepted, I said in passing "I bet that dress from your profile would look great on you". She said "I bet it would" and we made plans. I offered to pick her up, but she said it was easier for us to meet there. Then you know the rest. Now if she didn't want to wear that exact dress, she easily could have chosen a happy medium that was still attractive looking. But she put zero effort in.

 

In all fairness one date is still very early, and the statement "I bet it would" is lukewarm at best.

[katiegrl]

 

**Let's just chalk it up as you two aren't compatible,** I don't think she did anything wrong by any means.

 

Some Women keep their guard up until AFTER you've met, and prefer not to get too familiar beforehand. Perfectly normal.

 

You can't write a one-size-fits-all formula for ALL Women

 

I don't agree they're not compatible BC....they *could* actually be very compatible ... if not for his test (uh, playful banter) to gauge her reaction, her misinterpretation of the playful banter, and subsequent response based on her misinterpretation, and in turn HIS misinterpretation of her response...yadda yadda yadda.

 

All of which is very easy to do when two people have never met and don't know each other!

 

Anyway, I know I've been hard on you ff, but I do hope she doesn't cancel, and shows up wearing something pretty...that you like.

 

And that you can both be real and genuine and just knock off the tests, and get to know each other gradually, geniunely and sincerely. With patience, understanding and flexibility.

 

Good luck.....

[katiegrl]

Re messing up details...okay oops ff, my bad!!!

 

I will own that....

[fitnessfan365]

In all fairness one date is still very early, and the statement "I bet it would" is lukewarm at best.

 

It's funny because she wore nothing hot outfits on her profile. Also, since the first meet was an outdoor workout, I'd only gotten to see her in workout scrubs. Since she had an amazing body, I wanted to see it presented properly up close like on her profile. I've never been comfortable instructing a woman what to wear. I just like making suggestions if I have an outfit in mind. That's why I said "I bet you would look great in that blue dress from your profile". It communicates what I'd like to see, without being controlling.

 

In all honesty, I would have been satisfied with any number of hot outfits she came up with. But instead of dressing like her profile indicates, she shows up looking like a beach bum on a dinner date.

[La.Primavera]

Why do you want to know how women on this forum dress?

[fitnessfan365]

Why do you want to know how women on this forum dress?

 

Well every time I am out and about lately, I see women really dressing down. Then the woman I met from online stressed that she was a "big t-shirt and jeans woman". So I was just curious how many women on the forums here still like to strut their stuff with how they dress.

 

I don't agree they're not compatible BC....they *could* actually be very compatible ... if not for his test (uh, playful banter) to gauge her reaction, her misinterpretation of the playful banter, and subsequent response based on her misinterpretation, and in turn HIS misinterpretation of her response...yadda yadda yadda.

 

All of which is very easy to do when two people have never met and don't know each other!

 

Anyway, I know I've been hard on you ff, but I do hope she doesn't cancel, and shows up wearing something pretty...that you like.

 

And that you can both be real and genuine and just knock off the tests, and get to know each other gradually, geniunely and sincerely. With patience, understanding and flexibility.

 

Good luck.....

 

Well I appreciate you being gracious with me. It's been awhile.

 

However, I did want to stress once again that it was NEVER about what she wears on the first meet. Since she said she is a big t-shirt and jeans woman, I took that to mean she dresses casually on a regular basis. So I was thinking more in terms of compatibility. The "planning the outfit" comment was really just meant to be humorous because the meet isn't until next week and it's extremely casual.

Edited May 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[barcode88]

FF a lot of Women don't want to dress up for a Man right away, otherwise she doesn't have any cards left to play. They put pictures of them dressed up on their profile because it makes them look desirable - Men do the same thing. I have a couple pictures of myself dressed up on my profile, yet I don't dress up very often!

[fitnessfan365]

FF a lot of Women don't want to dress up for a Man right away, otherwise she doesn't have any cards left to play. They put pictures of them dressed up on their profile because it makes them look desirable - Men do the same thing. I have a couple pictures of myself dressed up on my profile, yet I don't dress up very often!

 

Fair enough. But these days a lot of guys are planning second dates at their house..LOL Since I like being a gentleman and planning actual dates, I felt the least she could do is put some basic effort into her appearance. I mean with drinks, appetizers, meal, and dessert, you're easily looking @ $150 plus. Usually I'd never plan an actual dinner date on a second date. But I had such a good time with her on the meet and felt chemistry with her, so I took a risk.

 

But when she showed looking as bad as she did, there was no way in hell I was spending my hard earned money on her.

Edited May 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[jay1983]

Dude, don't be surprised if she doesn't look at all the same as in her pics.

 

I was fooled by trick photography 3 times. Women know how to do it.

[katiegrl]

Well every time I am out and about lately, I see women really dressing down. Then the woman I met from online stressed that she was a "big t-shirt and jeans woman". So I was just curious how many women on the forums here still like to strut their stuff with how they dress.

 

 

 

**Well I appreciate you being gracious with me. It's been awhile.

 

However, I did want to stress once again that it was NEVER about what she wears on the first meet. Since she said she is a big t-shirt and jeans woman, I took that to mean she dresses casually on a regular basis. So I was thinking more in terms of compatibility. The "planning the outfit" comment was really just meant to be humorous because the meet isn't until next week and it's extremely casual.**

 

Okay..fair enough ff.

 

And apologies for being less than gracious lately.... I realize I can get pretty riled up sometimes... still working on it. :)