T-shirt and jeans women

[fitnessfan365]

"Trying" is the operative word. All the women here have told you many times, that they would not have appreciated that text and why, and you continue to defend it....

 

 

No, but any woman who is going to put up with the attitude you displayed on that text and who will dress according to your wishes, is a few sandwiches short of a picnic or just desperate.

 

(Bimbo is a derogatory slang term for an attractive but unintelligent female. - nothing to do with sexual promiscuity.)

 

What wishes?

 

Did I at any time in my texts say "I want you to dress sexy"? No. I playfully said "I look forward to whatever sexy choice you decide on". Once again to play off "planning an outfit" for something casual and so far in advance.

 

I still find it funny though that women continue to focus on the texts instead of the original topic. The whole point of this thread was to see if women still enjoy strutting their stuff vs dressing down. The texts were only used to site an example of a woman that likes to dress casual.

[Buddhist]

But I also like women who enjoy feeling desired and being confident.

 

And we all know that's impossible while wearing jeans. Just be honest here, you enjoy women who wear dresses and heels. It's got nothing to do with her enjoying being desired and confident and everything to do with your personal preferences.

[katiegrl]

Exactly.

 

Her: I am going to cook you a meal.

Him: Have you planned it well?

Her: (bites tongue) I may have done.

Him: Well it better be tasty and expensive too.

Her: Who IS this guy?...

 

Lol, not bites her *tongue*.. I believe biting her *lower lip* is more the OP's preference, although who knows, the tongue could be equally appealing under the right circumstances I suppose.

[elaine567]

 

Her : I am going to cook you a meal.

Me : Sounds great. Are you on the dessert menu?

 

 

Ugh!!! Cringe. Embarrassing.

I give up...

[fitnessfan365]

Ugh!!! Cringe. Embarrassing.

I give up...

 

Haha.. Wow. Tough room.

 

But in my mind based on that scenario, a woman that's cooking me dinner at her place means that we're already having sex. So a playful comment about her being dessert wouldn't offend her. I mean obviously I wouldn't say that to a woman I wasn't sleeping with yet. But realistically, her cooking me dinner in private means we are sleeping together.

 

If you were having sex with a guy, and you invited him over for a home cooked meal, you're honestly telling me that you'd get offended over something harmless like that?

 

And we all know that's impossible while wearing jeans. Just be honest here, you enjoy women who wear dresses and heels. It's got nothing to do with her enjoying being desired and confident and everything to do with your personal preferences.

 

Did I ever deny that dresses and heels were part of my preferences? Obviously I like women that dress that way. But an added bonus is the satisfaction she gets from seeing how much I desire her in the outfit. Once again, just a general statement. By no means in reference to the woman I haven't even met yet.

Edited May 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[Els]

Me - Already planning your outfit for next week?

Her - It's crossed my mind

Me - I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with

Her - We'll see. I'm a big t-shirt and jeans woman

 

:lmao:

 

I choked on my drink when I read this. You ACTUALLY think saying this to a virtual stranger makes her panties wet? How has that been working for you?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Haha.. Who the hell talks like that?

 

Her : I am going to cook you a meal.

Me : Sounds great. Are you on the dessert menu?

 

BTW - Read my other post directed at you. Asking a woman that I talked to yesterday for the first time if she's "planning her outfit" for something casual the following week is MEANT TO BE FUNNY AND IRONIC. I mean you really can't see that?

 

But you posted extensively how important it is for you that women "dress up". Your comment was a round about way to test if this woman likes to wear "sexy clothes". Intelligent women know how to read between the lines.

[lana-banana]

Haha.. Wow. Another person I have to explain this to.

 

It will be extremely casual. So the idea of dressing up seemed funny and ironic. Then to be playful and flirty, I mentioned enjoying whatever sexy choice she came up with.

 

Maybe the reason you need to keep explaining is because this makes no sense. I think you have no idea how creepy you sound. The first date is about meeting the other person and establishing they aren't a serial killer, and your "playful" line didn't help your cause. I would have cancelled immediately.

 

Also, I was speaking in generalities that have nothing to do with her. Just stating basic preferences and tastes I have for when I meet the right woman for me...I personally don't see the big deal telling a woman that I appreciate feminine dress style on a woman and having her say what her style preferences are.

 

Bzzzzzzt, wrong, do not pass go. If you had said "Oh, you should know I'm a sucker for women who wear sundresses!" this thread would not be ten pages long. Instead you said you were looking forward to HER making a "sexy" choice FOR YOU. There's nothing general about that. (Unless you're suggesting you think all attractive women should dress sexy, just because it would please you. Sad as it is I can honestly believe this is the case.)

 

Your insistence that you were being "funny and ironic" by telling a complete stranger your clothing preferences doesn't work when you're so passionate about defending those preferences. "But, guys! I was just kidding about her choosing an outfit for me! I don't even know her! And by the way her outfit choice is extremely important!"

 

A woman dressing to impress is not a character flaw or a sign of sexual promiscuity.

 

You didn't tell this girl you wanted her to dress to impress. You said you wanted her to dress sexy. YOU are the one conflating "feminine" with "sexy", when they aren't the same at all. Every woman who has ever tried to buy a dress for work knows the difference. You aren't really saying you like dresses, you like SEXY dresses, and you seem to think it's acceptable to tell a total stranger she had better look sexy for you. That's not flirty and playful, that's just gross. You sound like a wannabe pick-up artist in a fedora.

 

I love your insistence that it was all totally natural interaction and she wasn't even remotely put off by such an aggressive, creepy comment. (And yes, I agree with every woman in the thread who thinks she was obviously trying to tell you to cool it. But what do we know? We're just women!) Your ego seems unable to accept the possibility that you made a major screw-up and you come off as a demanding jerk.

 

Here's an idea: screening is a two-way street. Most women prefer to date men who aren't pushy and obsessed with sex. They certainly prefer men who don't treat them like sex objects. Maybe next time you should take thise preferences into account instead.

[Taramere]

But.. If she is the type of woman that prefers jeans and t-shirts most of the time, she probably wouldn't be a great fit for me based on what I like. That is all I am saying. I personally don't see the big deal telling a woman that I appreciate feminine dress style on a woman and having her say what her style preferences are.

 

Am I not allowed to have preferences in general? That is honestly what some of the women in this thread are making it sound like.

 

You're allowed to have preferences, of course. So are women.

 

If your preference is for intelligent and ladylike women, then you might ponder on the possibility that for a woman meeting up with a man for the first time (and bearing in mind the usual safety issues), "I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt sort of girl" might be the most intelligent and tactful response to an ill-considered "hope you'll be wearing something sexy" message from that online dating site stranger.

 

I guess people just don't see the humor in what I was going for with that statement.

 

It seems as though your potential date didn't either. It's exactly the sort of comment a woman makes when she's starting to feel a little uncomfortable, but doesn't want to be rude.

 

I think the reason you're getting flack on here is that people are dubious as to whether you would be the right match for the sort of woman who you say would be a match for you. You want to hear from women on here as to whether they enjoy dressing up and strutting their stuff, or if they're more relaxed in jeans and t-shirt.

 

I should think "it depends on the situation and the guy" is a very common response. If you're an old fashioned gentleman who treats women in a very thoughtful and considerate way, there's a very good chance that you'll appeal to the sort of woman you're expressing a preference. Or that even if they normally like jeans and t shirts, they'll be happy to dress up for you as a mark of respect for the kind of person you are.

 

Your problem on this thread is that as soon as you shared the " I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with" comment you made to this woman, you created an impression of yourself being quite crass. You keep going on about it being a joke, but I don't think you've shown even once any recognition of the nervousness women are likely to feel about putting themselves in that risky situation of meeting up with a man they don't know, who they have no friends in common with and who they met on a dating site. Doubts and anxieties that may well be worsened by an inappropriate and objectifying "wear something sexy" comment - whether or not you think you're being funny.

 

So while you think a woman who looks classy, sexy and ladylike is a good match for you, I think the general feeling on this thread is that from the way you're posting....women who meet that description might not feel you're a good match for them.

[Toodaloo]

Wading in here... Probably too late...

 

FF to us, well we have got to know you and we accept you as you are. We accept the comments that could be considered offensive with a roll of the eyes and the thought that "FF is horney again!". For us comments like this from you are by the by.

 

This girl is a stranger. I can tell you that you meet some pretty weird guys when dating! You literally never know what to expect. So this girls "stranger danger" alerts are going to be on high right now. Perhaps save these sorts of comments for when you are talking to her over the phone or face to face so she can see you are flirting with her and not thinking of her as a piece of meat.

 

Jeans and T shirt... well thats what I live in when not in hiking trousers! Jeans and the right t shirt can be very sexy... I look better in my jeans than many skirts (much to the amusement of the folks at the local feed store when I tried on a skirt that I love that they all thought I would look great in and when it came to it... I really didn't!!!).

 

I suggest lay off the "sexy" comments for a bit. Relax and enjoy your date. Even if she does dress "sexy" you may not fancy her! Good luck.

[fitnessfan365]

:lmao:

 

I choked on my drink when I read this. You ACTUALLY think saying this to a virtual stranger makes her panties wet? How has that been working for you?

 

Quite well actually. Ms T-Shirt ended the text conversation telling me to call her this weekend. So she wants to meet me. But that seems to be the one piece of info that everyone is ignoring isn't it?

 

The fact is that I am happy with how I handle myself. That's why I never asked for advice or critique and simply cited the texts as an example of a casual dresser. But everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you don't like it, that's cool with me. I'll continue to do what I do, and keep getting dates like I have tomorrow, Fri, and yes with Ms T-Shirt next week.

 

But can we PLEASE get back to the original topic? Ladies, do you like to dress feminine and strut day to day or just on special occasions like date nights out?

[Carm]

I didn't read all the pages from where I left off last night so maybe someone already has written this but this is how I feel.

 

 

Don't gauge how a woman might react to your actions as to whether you are or are not compatible. It does not mean a woman doesn't like to flirt sexually ONCE she gets to know you. If you feel right away that based on your initial flirtation that you and her are not compatible then you may miss out on the perfect partner.

[lana-banana]

Quite well actually. Ms T-Shirt ended the text conversation telling me to call her this weekend. So she wants to meet me. But that seems to be the one piece of info that everyone is ignoring isn't it?

 

"Call me this weekend" is not a positive response. She told you to make the effort and didn't promise to clear up time for you when you do call. Sorry. I can guarantee she showed that exchange to her friends, though.

 

The fact is that I am happy with how I handle myself. That's why I never asked for advice or critique and simply cited the texts as an example of a casual dresser. But everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you don't like it, that's cool with me. I'll continue to do what I do, and keep getting dates like I have tomorrow, Fri, and yes with Ms T-Shirt next week.

 

This is just so sad. Getting dates is not the goal; finding someone you love and who loves you in return is. You are not going to have many fulfilling relationships if you're going to be arrogant, dismissive, and completely tone-deaf. You are lacking in empathy and respect for women. A remotely mature person would have noted this and tried to keep it in mind for the future, or even make a personal change for the better. You sound like a child.

 

But can we PLEASE get back to the original topic? Ladies, do you like to dress feminine and strut day to day or just on special occasions like date nights out?

 

Given this question is being asked by someone who can't distinguish between "feminine" and "sexy" and is a total stranger to the concept of "appropriate conversation" I'm gonna have to take a pass.

[elaine567]

You keep going on about it being a joke, but I don't think you've shown even once any recognition of the nervousness women are likely to feel about putting themselves in that risky situation of meeting up with a man they don't know, who they have no friends in common with and who they met on a dating site. Doubts and anxieties that may well be worsened by an inappropriate and objectifying "wear something sexy" comment - whether or not you think you're being funny.

Exactly, agreed.

 

There are jokes and there are jokes, some jokes in some situations are hilarious and the same joke in a different context can be seen as offensive.

"Jokes" can be a inoffensive way of saying something offensive or getting away with saying something that is socially unacceptable.

 

As you are deadly serious in that you DO want her to plan her outfit and you DO want her to wear something sexy, then how can you be "only joking"?

 

YOU are "only joking" if she takes offense, and you are "only joking" when the women and men here pulled you up on it, otherwise you in fact asked her, a complete stranger, to wear something sexy for YOU and you didn't/don't see where that is wrong.

[fitnessfan365]

But you posted extensively how important it is for you that women "dress up". Your comment was a round about way to test if this woman likes to wear "sexy clothes". Intelligent women know how to read between the lines.

 

Of course I like it when women dress up. Have I pretended otherwise? Her saying she likes jeans and t-shirts was in reference to how she likes to dress in general. That is honestly how it came off in the context of the conversation. So it made me wonder if we'd be a good overall fit if she dresses down all the time.

 

But really .."planning your outfit yet" was truly and sincerely meant to be silly. We just met yesterday. Don't have official plans. It's a casual meet next week. So no woman in her right mind would plan a special outfit under those circumstances. Hence the sarcasm/irony. If it doesn't come across that way to the women here, I don't know what else I can say.

 

However, in the end, all that matters is that she asked me to call to make plans with her this weekend. Since she wants to meet me, can we just agree to disagree and stick to the topic?

 

"Call me this weekend" is not a positive response. She told you to make the effort and didn't promise to clear up time for you when you do call. Sorry. I can guarantee she showed that exchange to her friends, though.

.

 

She said to call her this weekend to re-confirm on what we already agreed on. I told her yesterday on the phone that I'd call her this weekend to make official plans once I had a better handle on my schedule. So when she texted me today and the conversation ended, she simply re-confirmed that I'd call her when I said I would.

Edited May 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[fitnessfan365]

You keep going on about it being a joke, but I don't think you've shown even once any recognition of the nervousness women are likely to feel about putting themselves in that risky situation of meeting up with a man they don't know, who they have no friends in common with and who they met on a dating site. Doubts and anxieties that may well be worsened by an inappropriate and objectifying "wear something sexy" comment - whether or not you think you're being funny.

 

So while you think a woman who looks classy, sexy and ladylike is a good match for you, I think the general feeling on this thread is that from the way you're posting....women who meet that description might not feel you're a good match for them.

 

1) I will fully own the fact that the women who have posted in this thread would not be a good match for me. I am fine with that because you can't appeal to everyone and I am not trying to date any of these women here.

 

2) I will also fully own that how I handle myself will make some women uncomfortable. Like the ones in this thread for example. I am simply saying the women that I date like how I handle myself. That's why they go out with me. I never once claimed that how I act works on every woman.

 

However, no one on this forum can claim to speak for everyone. You can say "in my opinion", "i think", "that wouldn't work for me", etc.. That's completely fine. That's what I do in my posts to stress I only speak for myself. But women here continue to act like they represent women in general which is the problem I have. The fact is that no one person can represent an entire populous.

[Gaeta]

But really .."planning your outfit yet" was truly and sincerely meant to be silly.

 

Then why didn't she laugh? or any of us laugh?

[Toodaloo]

But can we PLEASE get back to the original topic? Ladies, do you like to dress feminine and strut day to day or just on special occasions like date nights out?

 

Day to day skirts and dresses are very impractical for me. I have to walk around building sites and workshops, climb over gates and fences, trudge through mud... So no day to day I do not like to dress up all that much.

 

Day to day though I do like to wear clothes that are fitted and flattering, shirts etc that show off my shape. Do I actually wear them day to day? No. Absolutely not. I purposefully wear baggy, shapeless old polo shirts, massive jumpers and anything else I can find that will cover me up and hide my shape. But that is another story and another reason it is not for this thread. I do not like to strut at any time unless it is behind closed doors and just for one man *or I am very drunk and taking the pee out of myself!*.

 

Dates and special occasions, yes I like to dress up a bit but not overly so unless its a ball or similar event. Yes I own ball gowns. Several of them. I own a couple of skirts that are at the back of the wardrobe and rarely worn. I brought them because they are pretty but never wear them.

[Taramere]

That's what I do in my posts to stress I only speak for myself. But women here continue to act like they represent women in general which is the problem I have. The fact is that no one person can represent an entire populous.

 

So what's the purpose in continually asking about female posters' preference in clothes?

[Toodaloo]

So what's the purpose in continually asking about female posters' preference in clothes?

 

Because he is bit of a flirt and is trying to figure out the enigma that is womankind...

[fitnessfan365]

Then why didn't she laugh? or any of us laugh?

 

She replied sarcastically saying "It's crossed my mind". She got the irony of the statement.

 

If a woman I met yesterday and didn't have official plans with yet, asked me if I was already planning my outfit, I'd see the humor and sarcasm right away and respond in kind. Example :

 

Her - Are you planning your outfit already?

Me - I've been rummaging around my closet all day!

Her - I'm looking forward to whatever sexy choice you make

Me - I have a feeling yours will be better.

Her - You'll just have to wait and see mister!

Me - Talk to you soon.

 

This is honestly how a lot of text conversations go with women that I date It's just harmless fun banter. I think the women in this thread have really done some serious over thinking and made a mountain out of a mole hill.

[Taramere]

Because he is bit of a flirt and is trying to figure out the enigma that is womankind...

 

Ah, I see. Is it a bit like the time a random man called me up to say he was doing a women's clothing survey, then asked me what colour and style of "panties" I was wearing?

[fitnessfan365]

Ah, I see. Is it a bit like the time a random man called me up to say he was doing a women's clothing survey, then asked me what colour and style of "panties" I was wearing?

 

I'm gonna go with grannie panties.

[Taramere]

I'm gonna go with grannie panties.

 

Good choice. I'm sure you'll find them very comfortable.

[fitnessfan365]

Good choice. I'm sure you'll find them very comfortable.

 

Haha.. Sounds like you speak from experience.