He makes amazing efforts to come to see me, but still unsure???

[gabaee]

i have been seeing a guy for the last 8 months. we live in two difference countries (Turkey and Italy). He lives in Rome while I am in Istanbul. Since October, he has come to see me in Istanbul 5 times which is more than i would have expected from a guy who lives so far. We have also taken 3 long holidays together/ He cares for me very deeply and is very affectionate and we chat usually everyday via Skype for Whatsapp.

 

The thing that i am still vague about, is the fact that none of us has talked about what is going to come next in this relationship. None of us has put any labels on our relationship. The other day while he was in middle of a conversation, he made a pause which he was going to refer to me as his girlfriend. What it came to him saying "my girfriend", he made a pause, and said, "the woman i am seeing". This bothered me a bit actually. I have no idea what to think or expect. Would the fact that he is making such strong efforts to travel to see me twice a month, be a sign that he is serious about me????

[central]

Well, he probably wouldn't come to see you at such a great distance and expense if he didn't have some serious intentions. However, how do you feel about him, and have you given him any indication that you think HE is worth serious consideration? If not, he may be holding back because he thinks you don't want him for more than a fling.

 

Of course, he may only be interested in enjoying the moment, and if he can afford the time and money to see you, that may be all it is - a sexual fling with someone he likes.

 

I think you'll have to ask him, or tell him how you feel and see how he responds.

[justwhoiam]

none of us has talked about what is going to come next in this relationship.

Does that make you uncomfortable? Why didn't you ever bring that up?

 

he made a pause, and said, "the woman i am seeing". This bothered me a bit actually.

He'd bothered me too. Nevertheless, I would never see myself with some guy for 8 months not knowing what the deal is.

 

Would the fact that he is making such strong efforts to travel to see me twice a month, be a sign that he is serious about me????

No. You see, if for him a trip to Turkey is like buying an icecream, then no, he'd be just taking advantage. Unless he's in politics or owning a company that's doing very well, his wage can't be that big. Since you said that he doesn't like his current job, I assume that he's an employee and on a fixed monthly wage. If he has loads of money, I'd think his family is rich, so he has money anyway. Or he won the lottery. Either that, or he's doing something illegal (e.g. drug dealer). Who knows.

 

Did you meet his family?

 

Also, with the comments he makes in front of you, he's trying to make it clear that there's nothing binding between you two. No commitment and no exclusivity. And you seem to be fine with that, though on here your posts tell otherwise. Have you ever asked him if he's dating/seeing other women?

 

Do you know how much he makes per month?

 

It looks like you're afraid of asking him questions, so the dynamics between you two are a bit foggy.