IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 The other day i was getting ready to go out and I found a necklace that my ex BF got me. It matched my outfit perfectly but for some reason I felt odd wearing it. I eventually did but i still has a sour taste in my mouth. My question is, now that were are no longer with our ex's, is it OK to wear jewelry that they got you? To me it doesn't have any meaning anymore since we are no longer together. Any opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I usually have no interest in the item afterwards. I have worn things a couple of times just because they matched, but they brought back too many feelings and it wasn't worth it. My items were all put to the side and forgotten about. They had lost their 'value' and 'meaning'. However, if it's a piece that you love, then why not??? Especially if you can separate the feelings from the wearing of the jewelry. Engagement rings and wedding rings, um, I vote no. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 my last g/f had this crappy watch she used to love wearing every day. i asked her about it and she said an old b/f bought it for her. i told her she should not wear it anymore and I'll buy her a brand new one that is nicer. she said no and that she will wear whatver she damn well wants to. i said OK. then I told her the history behind my wallet. an old g/f bought it for me and it was real expensive and i still use it every day. she never looked at my wallet the same again. every time i pulled my wallet out to pay the bill she would eye it with jealousy. hah haha hahahah a so we were even! Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Now here's another question. Would you get mad/jealous if your partner is still wearing the jewelry? Would you think that they are still trying to hold on to their ex? Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Now here's another question. Would you get mad/jealous if your partner is still wearing the jewelry? Would you think that they are still trying to hold on to their ex? probably, a little. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Si, senorita!!! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 For me, it would depend on the sentiment attached to the piece. If they were "I love you" presents -- like promise rings, engagement rings, or something personally inscribed by the ex, I'd feel uncomfortable wearing it. Or with my partner making it an everyday part of their wardrobe. Unless it was just on the rare occasion when it happened to "match" something they were wearing. But jewelry given for birthdays, Christmas or 'just because', I view simply as 'gifts'. Just like any other present you may have received in the past from an old family member or friend you don't see anymore. No nostalgic sentiments attached; no problem! What else are you supposed to do with all the stuff anyway if you can't sell it..?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 What about anniversary gifts? Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I agree with Enigma. For the past two days I've worn a ring my ex bought me because it looks nice with my shirt! It was a spur of the moment purchase, and it certainly isn't a valuable ring. For whatever reason the ring doesn't have much meaning to me. Yesterday my mom asked me where I got the ring, because I don't wear it often, and when I told her I did get a little choked up. But aside from actually stopping and thinking "HE bought this for me," I'm not bothered. My friend pointed out I may have a lot of practical things he bought for me that I theoretically don't have to give up. I've been wearing a pair of pajamas he bought me for Christmas. I use my discman at the gym, and he bought it for me for my last birthday. I guess I don't have a lot of sentimental value attached to these items. However we bought each other the same stuffed animal for Valentine's Day (only in different colors). I still have it in my room, but I put it in an out-of-the-way location so I don't have to see it unless I make a conscious effort to do so. (The gift had to do with our pet name for each other.) I looked at it last night and I did get upset for a bit. When I think about it, I'm sure my ex is reminded of me quite a bit. I bought him the alarm clock he now uses for Christmas. So that's an EVERYDAY reminder! Haha. Not to mention the clothes I bought...the DVDs and DVD display case...I even bought him a ring once! I guess part of the healing process means putting away anything and everything that elicits painful memories until you are strong enough to look at them again. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 What about anniversary gifts? Never thought about that one, myself! You know what…the best thing to do is not to even mention from where and 'who' you got it from. With any luck, if you don't make a big deal out of it, maybe they won't either. Then again, if they ask you're pretty much stuck. I think if you're irritated with your partner wearing something someone else gave them, then go out and buy them another one just like it to replace it. Make the trade, then you get to worry about trying to pawn the darn thing for the same price its worth! Besides, who'd wanna buy a jinxed set of wedding bands from someone who's divorced? Crap, you'd have a hard time even GIVING the things away! Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by Fallen_Angel I bought him the alarm clock he now uses for Christmas. So that's an EVERYDAY reminder! Haha. Not to mention the clothes I bought...the DVDs and DVD display case...I even bought him a ring once! :lmao: HAHA that's a good one! Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 um...YEAH! Although I do feel weird wearing the ring my ex got me I'll get over it Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 since i only have 2 pieces of jewlrey ever given to me by a bf....it is not really an issue. and 1 is from my current bf. the other ring, a MUCH nicer ring with sapphires and diamonds, was given to me by a guy in HS. i have Only started wearing it again in the last few years.....as i think it pretty again. it has nothing to do with who gave it to me. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO What else are you supposed to do with all the stuff anyway if you can't sell it..?? A1 Cash & Pawn. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 you could re-gift it!!! consignment......make another piece of jewelry with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 My ex G/F still wears jewelry I gave her and it really doesn't bother me. I gave it to her as a gift. She gave me some also and I wear hers. Tit for tat..... Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 I think it is silly to not wear something an ex gave you IF wearing the thing won't make you all depressed. I mean seriously...wtf is the big deal? A person gave you a gift, you like it so why not use it? I would be pissed off if I found out my ex got rid of the stuff I got her because that stuff cost me money and was bought with the intention she would use it regardless. If she didn't want it after we broke up then she should have just given it back to me. I use stuff my ex gave me because I like the stuff she got me and using it doesnt make me think about her and get sad or whatever other people seem to suffer from. Oh and I also think someone has some serious insecurity issues if they tell their bf or gf to not wear stuff given to them by past mates. That's just lame and if I were with a girl who had an issue like that I'd dump her... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Hmm... Well I actually threw my Wedding ring and engagment ring in the trash LOL it wasn't expensive and I didn't want my Kid's to have it like "Hey when you get married I thought it would be nice if you wore my wedding ring.. yeah I know your Dad and I got divorced and yes he is an assclown... but none the less wouldn't it be nice to have this constant reminder on your hand every single day for the rest of your life? Just think you can look across the table at your mate, then look at the ring(s) sigh and wonder why you didn't stay in therapy longer and WTF you will do with the ring if things don't work out for ya..." I still have other things my EXH had given to me.. but not the wedding/engagment rings... My EXBF absolutely couldn't stand for me to wear anything that my EXH (Wow I have a few EX's ) gave to me.. BUT then again he was very jealous and completely irrational.. Lets see where am I going with this... Bottomline in my medicated opinion is this.. wedding/engagment or anniversary rings.. uh yeah probably shouldn't still be wearing them.. besides it makes it a hella lot harder to get a date with that shiny a** MoFo ring on your hand... everything else, good to go Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 22, 2005 Author Share Posted April 22, 2005 Wow, a lot of different opinions. What brought me to ask this question was I saw my ex and he noticed that I was wearing a bracelet that he got me. HE goes "Still wearing my bracelet huh" "Just can't let me go can you" :lmao: I almost spit in his face i was laughing so hard!! I figured once the person who gave it to you is not meaningful anymore, then the piece has no meaning whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue I figured once the person who gave it to you is not meaningful anymore, then the piece has no meaning whatsoever. this is a total crock of shyt I.H.N.F.C. and i'll tell u why. If your new b/f of 6 months that u were totally in luv with was wearing, let's say, some item or trinket that his ex gave him then you would hit the roof. even if he said it was "meaningless". women will say when it is them wearing old sentimental jewelry that it is OK but when their man wears something an ex gave then they go ballistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 22, 2005 Author Share Posted April 22, 2005 That's only b/c some...SOME guys don't really give a sh!i. They don't really care about ex's as much as women do. Call it sensitivity or jealousy, men just don't care as much as women about the small things. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Merin, your story cracked me up. If it has some sentimental value, then put it to the side (out of the way) for a few months...or a couple years, whatever. THEN decide if you feel okay with wearing it, or at THAT time, make decisions as to which pawn store you will be visiting. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 He can wear the jewelery of his ex when I'm not around. That does'n bother me, if he likes them so much. My exEX was a real cheap bastard. I remember seeing this beautiful ring for my birthday... and what did I do? I put half the money myself! Imagine that! Well, it's not really a reminder of him. Not like he came home with it and I found it in a little red box and "Surprise"!!! I chose it, I paid half the damn money... he paid the other half. Paradoxally, that ring does not make me remember my ex, but what jerks men can be if you let them . I wear that ring a lot, it's really beautiful! And it's MINE! Ok, nerve fist over! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 To me it doesn't have any meaning anymore since we are no longer together. Exactly. To me, when a relationship is over, it's over. I suppose if you've been ditched by somebody you really didn't want to lose, that's one matter but I do not mourn any of my past relationships one bit. What was good was good, what was bad was bad, and now it's over, it's over. I still wear my engagement ring. It doesn't look like a typical engagement ring but it's a gorgeous ring. It has absolutely zero sentimental value to me. Now here's another question. Would you get mad/jealous if your partner is still wearing the jewelry? Would you think that they are still trying to hold on to their ex Nope. I guess part of the healing process means putting away anything and everything that elicits painful memories until you are strong enough to look at them again. IF you have things that elicit painful memories. My breakups were either mutual or initiated by me and, again, I don't long for them or miss them in any way. In fact, I'd question what anybody is doing in a new relationship if any item they own triggers longings for an old relationship! How fair is it to take up with someone new when you're still not completely over someone else? women will say when it is them wearing old sentimental jewelry that it is OK but when their man wears something an ex gave then they go ballistic. Another hoary old ridiculous generalization. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts