Moose Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 On how to be a man.......easy, FIRST, don't listen to Alpha's advice unless you want to be alone the rest of your life.......second.......[color=red]BE YOURSELF!![/color]If you take Alpha's advice and change who you truly are.....you'll never be happy. You'll never have a healthy, happy relationship unless you find a woman who loves you for you and allows you to be you.As a man you must be dominant and strong. Giving too much of yourself too often makes a man into a mouse and most women don't like that Bull.My advice in a nutshell is to always make yourself #1 and don't listen to most of what women sayBullWomen cannot respect a man who has no needs or wants or desires.Bull You're getting and believing the wrong advice. I can't tell you who or what to follow......most of what I read, and actually saw you agreeing to is Bull. Be your friggin self.....who cares what other people think. If you want true happiness, this is ALL you have to do! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Ok, so in a few weeks I'll just drop her a note, but maybe the day AFTER her birthday. If I send it ON her birthday then she'll know I was thinking about it. I hate playing games, but maybe this is the time I need to. no, do not play games. you either send the note or not. so send it on her b-day, or not at all. otherwise she will know you ae playing and will continue to play you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita how can she have the chance to miss you if you are there. you need to stop speaking with her all together though, if not forever, then for a few weeks. remember practice. when what you have been doing is not working....do the opposite. i have had the "opposite trail" work for me.........still going! I know she needs time to miss me. She always does when I am gone for any length of time. I TOTALLY agree. What I have been doing isn't working. I need to try something esle. And if it doesn't work, well damn, I've done all I can and not all relationships are meant to be. Man, I really need to get my nads back. I can tell you, the guy she dated before me treated her like a second class citizen and she feel in love with him immediately. He had an 'air' about him that attracted women easily. His attitude and they feel all over him. The minute she told him she loved him, he dumped her. And here I come, Mr. Opposite. I'm such a dork. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by Moose On how to be a man.......easy, FIRST, don't listen to Alpha's advice unless you want to be alone the rest of your life.......second.......[color=red]BE YOURSELF!![/color]If you take Alpha's advice and change who you truly are.....you'll never be happy. You'll never have a healthy, happy relationship unless you find a woman who loves you for you and allows you to be you.Bull.BullBull You're getting and believing the wrong advice. I can't tell you who or what to follow......most of what I read, and actually saw you agreeing to is Bull. Be your friggin self.....who cares what other people think. If you want true happiness, this is ALL you have to do! what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander...................... i am not saying my advice is right or wrong, or ALPHA's, or moose's.... But, your thing ain't working, at least not with this chic, and that is who you care for. i agree, youi should be with someone who loves you as you are, but if the person you are is not the healthiest person..why not help assist the person you love in becoming a better, healthier, happy person? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by Moose On how to be a man.......easy, FIRST, don't listen to Alpha's advice unless you want to be alone the rest of your life.......second.......[color=red]BE YOURSELF!![/color]If you take Alpha's advice and change who you truly are.....you'll never be happy. You'll never have a healthy, happy relationship unless you find a woman who loves you for you and allows you to be you.Bull.BullBull You're getting and believing the wrong advice. I can't tell you who or what to follow......most of what I read, and actually saw you agreeing to is Bull. Be your friggin self.....who cares what other people think. If you want true happiness, this is ALL you have to do! Well I changed who I was to make her happy. I lost my edge as a man and I need to get that edge back, that confidence and swagger I used to have. But if you read the last post I made, that's the kind of guy she falls for, the one that Alphamale described. I don't want to play games. I want to be me and that's the me she liked. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Well I changed who I was to make her happy.That was your first mistake.But if you read the last post I made, that's the kind of guy she falls for, the one that Alphamale described.As tough as it may be, let her have it then. You don't need to be someone you're not. You can't play out the rest of your life conforming to what she wants......you'll never be happy.......ever.I don't want to play games. I want to be me and that's the me she likedThen stop playing games. If she stays, great, if not, you've done nothing wrong, heal and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita i agree, youi should be with someone who loves you as you are, but if the person you are is not the healthiest person..why not help assist the person you love in becoming a better, healthier, happy person? I've so tried this!!! She doesn't like to talk. She doesn't like to discuss controversial issues. She isn't open. She's a terrible communicator. I told her last night that she needed to work on these things. That the only way to be healthy mentally is to talk to people, to bond with them and to air your differences. People can't read minds. She heard me, but whether she listened to me or not, we'll that's to be determined. But how do you help someone who doesn't think normally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by Moose That was your first mistake.As tough as it may be, let her have it then. You don't need to be someone you're not. You can't play out the rest of your life conforming to what she wants......you'll never be happy.......ever.Then stop playing games. If she stays, great, if not, you've done nothing wrong, heal and move on. Definitely agree. I'll be me. I just don't want to be a wussy, pushover anymore. I want my nads back! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I've so tried this!!! She doesn't like to talk. She doesn't like to discuss controversial issues. She isn't open. She's a terrible communicator. I told her last night that she needed to work on these things. That the only way to be healthy mentally is to talk to people, to bond with them and to air your differences. People can't read minds. She heard me, but whether she listened to me or not, we'll that's to be determined. But how do you help someone who doesn't think normally. i was kinda talking about your ways of thinking too........ and it not that the way you think is necessarily wrong or bad, but it could be better.....more condusive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Definitley agree. The wheel isn't broken in my case, it just needs a little repair here and there and I'll be fine. Like I said, I need my nads back, lol! Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 For her birthday you should continue the no contact. No card, definitely no camera, not even an email. Nothing. I guarantee that if you have no contact with her on, or around, her birthday, she'll spend a good portion of the day spinning her little wheels as to why. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Definitely agree. I'll be me. Just being "YOU" and being "YOURSELF" is a cop out. And anyone who gives u this advice totally lacks imagination and creativity. What exactly is "YOU" anyways? You can change "YOU" and transmogrify into something a bit different. Telling someone to "just be yourself" is great advice for someone who has their act together and does not need to change much. But.....when someone comes and asks for advice on how to change their life and themselves telling them to "just be yourself" is totally lame. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 For her birthday you should continue the no contact. No card, definitely no camera, not even an email. Nothing. I guarantee that if you have no contact with her on, or around, her birthday, she'll spend a good portion of the day spinning her little wheels as to why. Bullseye! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Just being "YOU" and being "YOURSELF" is a cop out. And anyone who gives u this advice totally lacks imagination and creativity. What exactly is "YOU" anyways? You can change "YOU" and transmogrify into something a bit different. Telling someone to "just be yourself" is great advice for someone who has their act together and does not need to change much. But.....when someone comes and asks for advice on how to change their life and themselves telling them to "just be yourself" is totally lame. AGREED! Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Anybody heard of Leykis 101? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Anybody heard of Leykis 101? It's been a while since I've listened to him but that guy is hardcore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 For her birthday you should continue the no contact. No card, definitely no camera, not even an email. Nothing. I guarantee that if you have no contact with her on, or around, her birthday, she'll spend a good portion of the day spinning her little wheels as to why. Well, we talked last night and agreed to maintain our friendship. Why do I need to do NC. I am not trying to punish her and I think that NC is unnecessary if we've decided to leave it at friends for now. I think if I do nothing for her birthday, she'll wonder for about 2 seconds.... Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I agree the original question was in fact, "good, tangible information I can use to make a better man of myself." But.....when someone comes and asks for advice on how to change their life and themselves telling them to "just be yourself" is totally lame.So, telling them to act like somebody or something else is the best recourse? How long can a person keep this act up and expect happiness as a result?Just being "YOU" and being "YOURSELF" is a cop out. And anyone who gives u this advice totally lacks imagination and creativity.Oh give me a break! Anyone who gives this advice is doing so out of an honest heart. It comes from someone who doesn't lie, doesn't like to play games, and doesn't pretend to be someone he isn't. Anything else is just fake. .......the only way to make yourself a better man is to NOT listen to anyone else, and be yourself. If people can't accept you for who you are, they don't deserve to be in your presence...... Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Well, we talked last night and agreed to maintain our friendship. Why do I need to do NC. I am not trying to punish her and I think that NC is unnecessary if we've decided to leave it at friends for now. I think if I do nothing for her birthday, she'll wonder for about 2 seconds.... why do you need to maintain a friendship with her? Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by Moose .......the only way to make yourself a better man is to NOT listen to anyone else, and be yourself. If people can't accept you for who you are, they don't deserve to be in your presence...... i think many many counselors would disagree with you there. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 It's been a while since I've listened to him but that guy is hardcore. Confused's situation reminds me of everything Leykis talks about on his show... I used to listen a long time ago, then started up again last year. I don't follow everything, but it's definitely an eye-opener as how not to mess up. He entertains me more than anything, since he's based out of L.A. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Isn't the whole point of this thread to get lessons? You can't learn if you don't listen, man. Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Why do I need to do NC. I am not trying to punish her... NC isn't supposed to be a punishment. It's a method by which you heal yourself and regain some dignity. Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I think if I do nothing for her birthday, she'll wonder for about 2 seconds.... I wish you realized how incorrect that statement was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Just being "YOU" and being "YOURSELF" is a cop out. And anyone who gives u this advice totally lacks imagination and creativity. What exactly is "YOU" anyways? You can change "YOU" and transmogrify into something a bit different. Telling someone to "just be yourself" is great advice for someone who has their act together and does not need to change much. But.....when someone comes and asks for advice on how to change their life and themselves telling them to "just be yourself" is totally lame. I am happy with myself overall. I just need lessons on how to keep women interested in me and not fall overmyself like a stupid, mushy wimpy boy whenever I fall in love. Like, if I meet a totally awesome girl (both in looks and personality), how the HECK do I maintain my cool. How do other men do it?! I fully admit I am not cool when it comes to relationships and learning to be so is my utmost priority right now. I need lessons! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Isn't the whole point of this thread to get lessons? You can't learn if you don't listen, man. NC isn't supposed to be a punishment. It's a method by which you heal yourself and regain some dignity. I wish you realized how incorrect that statement was. Hmm. Well while I am upset over the relationship, I am not devastated over it. So, the healing process has already started. I am going to hang with friends this weekned. I need to learn to be cool with women. To me someone worth their time chasing. And to not fall overmyself to please someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita why do you need to maintain a friendship with her? Because life with her in it is whole-heartedly better than without. Hard to explain, but she's my friend too.... Link to post Share on other sites
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