I hate her but I love her

[toj128]

A girl who I was best friends with had stopped showing interest In me. When we met last year in March she was really interested in me and I considered her to be a really close friend.

 

We went out a lot and it sort of felt like we were in a relationship, we said we loved each other over the phone, had a special connection on Facebook (with posts, commenting each others Names on photos). We had really good nights together but I started being really clingy and she started being a bitch to me. It was on and off for a while after we started to talk less in September to November. It always seemed that I was coming to her and slowly losing her.

 

When I asked her out to pick her up at her place at Christmas she stood me up and I got the idea that she distant want to be friends anymore. After that I still did't believe that we would stop talking so I kept making small talk that really didn't go anywhere.

 

On the first of March i deleted her number and stopped talking to her and started to move on but i think about her everyday because I love her and I would forgive her even after going through all the **** she has done to me. A couple of weeks ago she liked a post on my Facebook and a week after that i received message from her saying her phone ****ed up and lost her numbers. I told her who it was and she said ah thanks. I liked her display picture she changed to a couple of days later and I am starting to miss her.

 

I don't want to be the one to start making conversation to her again since I always did, although i still love her but I hate what she put me through. I've never felt this way about anyone before but I'm afraid that we (mostly her) will make the same mistakes again. I don't know how we can start talking to each other and being friends again like we once did because I do expect an apology from her but I do want to be friends with her, I just don't know if she has changed.

 

Should I start talking to her in a couple of weeks or should I wait for her? I don't know how to progress from this.

 

Please help!

[texmccormick]

You two never had a defined relationship. Sounds horribly blurry and one-sided. At least, now it is anyway.

 

 

Possibly your clinginess pushed her away. Then again, maybe you never had her the way you thought you did, to begin with. That brings us back to the issue of never having a defined relationship. Clearly you have strong feelings for this girl, but you never sealed the deal even though you acted as if you did.

 

 

It almost sounds like you pulled a 180 on this girl. You love, now you hate her. You delete her number, but now a "like" from her on FB has you feeling butterflies. You want contact, but demand an apology from her for something. What did she do to you? What do you want with her, really?

 

 

No offense, but this sounds like a toxic relationship on the verge of becoming more toxic if you were to pursue it again. Best solution is to drop the emotional attachment to her, give her space, and maybe someday you can start over, CLEARLY DEFINED as "friends". No blurry lines or what-if's to screw with your mind.