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old man/new man


Newgirl

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Dear Everyone,

 

I am in love with my boyfriend of three years, and we live together. Yet there are some serious things amiss with our relationship. I feel that he views women as objects (not me personally, but as a general category) since he has over 500 porn images secretly stored on his computer,and other reasons. He says he doesn't view me as an object, but some of his actions tell me otherwise. In many ways, he is VERY good to me. He is loving and caring, shares stuff with me, yet he is not the thoughtful and supportive man I wish he could be. I know it is bad to try to change people, and I find myself wanting to change him frequently. He feels that I am not experimental enough in bed and that I expect too much from him. We have some seriously opposing viewpoints on issues such as viewing the world in a positive or negative way, religion, etc. I have a feeling that these things wouldn't work out if we were ever to get married. (No, we don't want kids). But now into my life comes a guy in one of my classes who seems really great. Of course since bf and I have fallen on hard times, anyone would seem great. But this guy likes Tori, the X- Files, music, art, and he's sooo handsome. A gentleman, the complete opposite of my boyfriend, who just wasn't brought up to be chivalrous. I DO love my bf, but when I see this new guy, all my bf's faults become apparent. I am working on getting to know the new guy better so I can use better judgment, but I am finding myself liking him more and more the more I learn about him. This is getting dangerous! I don't want to cheat on my bf, but I definitely like this guy. What should I do?

 

Conflicted

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Go for the new guy...and if that doesn't work, keep on looking. It just doesn't seem like you are entirely pleased with the guy you're seeing now. You actually seem quite eager for something new and more to your liking.

 

If you're going to be in a relationship, you should be very happy in it. You wouldn't be so interested in this other guy if you were satisfied with your boyfriend. Find a guy you don't want to change so much.

 

It's time for a change. Go for it!!!

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