Top tier men are hoarding all the women

[loveweary11]

The main reason why I am not getting dates and relationships is simply because I rarely find any nearby woman physically attractive. Tattoos is a major turn-off for me and almost every woman I have met got at least 1 tattoo somewhere.

 

This doesn't count smoking, having children out of wedlock, not having a job, drama queen, is friendly, etc etc.

 

So even if I did advance my social circle and my education, if the women is not attractive to me, I am still back to square one.

 

That's my problem and I can't do much to fix that outside of meeting more women and getting lucky.

 

 

 

Where you are from, this is absolutely true. I've been there. You've got to move to find better women. They barely exist at all in Jacksonville.

[Necris]

It's exactly the same for women. We all know Jenna and Lisa that have beautiful faces, flawless skin and hot bodies, AND are bubbly and outgoing on the top of that. They get men pursuing them like crazy anywhere they go.

 

Yet I don't see women posting about this nearly as much as men do? I always wondered why that is.

 

Because women even unattractive ones have guys interested in them since alot of guys just thirsty like that. Now are these guys she's interested in, that's a different story.

 

For example I go to a gaming event, not a popular one its not a con or anything more like a meetup, anyway its full of just guys with very few girls and the girls who were there were obviously with their boyfriends. I spotted a girl who seemed to be single but before I can say anything another guy beats me to her and starts flirting with her. Now she wasn't super attractive (had quite a few rolls coming out of her shirt that was a little tight so she was overweight but she did have a nice smile) but she's still a girl and interested in gaming so can still get interest from men.

 

Women also don't ever have to worry about approaching guys so they don't really get rejected.

 

The main thing women have to watch out for are guys who are just using them so choosing the right man is important, but this also goes for guys as well as women are perfectly capable of using and abusing a guy if she wanted to.

 

EDIT: Also unlike men attractive women don't want to have multiple men, they want the guy, so its not like "Jenna" and "Lisa" have 10 guys a piece they are juggling around...but these days idk. While for the guys you got the "alpha" guys playing many different women at the same time for example you go to a meetup and one guy manages to get five girls interested in him he has their contact info and wants to date/have sex with all of them, what are the other guys going to do? Girls at least to my knowledge even if they are the hottest girl around prefer to have one guy (and its worse for girls if they get caught juggling multiple men as they are seen as promiscuous) but then again...I could be wrong, and Lisa goes to the meetup and leaves with 5 dates planned for herself with 5 different guys leaving Sarah sad.

Edited May 10, 2015 by Necris

[Mr Carson]

 

Again, I never said that I can't get the girl. I said that the girl wants me to put in too much work.

 

I don't even know what to say? Apparently you've never heard the term "the harder I work the luckier I get". I want to know who told you life would be easy? Your thoughts are correct, being alone is easier. If you want easy just give up...it's easy!

[carhill]

Top tier men are hoarding all the women

 

It certainly can feel that way when one experiences women blowing by them to get at these guys but, in reality, those women are a very small subset of the total volume of women and they would go for those men anyway, excluding the guys they blow by simply because, to them, we're invisible. Once I figured that out back in my late 20's, things got a lot easier. Sure, the top tier married guys who had a wife at home and were juggling multiple affairs did stir up some resentment and envy but I learned that they simply were living a different lifestyle and let go of that realm of the relationship milieu and those who inhabited it. I had to examine myself and why I found the women attractive and was bothered by their pursuit of the top tier guys. The answers came from within.

[Phoe]

Well, quite simply, I can firmly say that I have never been hoarded away...

 

I get this vision of a man who locks a harem of women away in a bloody closet. I mean, really....

 

In my opinion, the entire premise of the thread is just very illogical and rarely based in reality.

[Phoe]

You'd be surprised. I have a friend now who hooks up with different women all the time. Some of them know what is going on, and others are in total denial about it. He is living with one girl, but not dating her. She hopes to date him, but he is just looking to be a roommate. He will have sex with her though. He already had one girl over to his new place, and that girl has a boyfriend, but is cheating with my friend. They had a party at their place, and one of the girls there was upset and crying. Another roommate that stays there asked her what was up, and she was angry that the player friend was not talking to her, and that they had "made love" a few nights ago. Evidently, player guy was well on his way to hooking up with a new girl that night, which worked out in his favor.

 

Basically, dude is living with one girl, just had sex with 2 different women in the same week, and ignored all other women to hook up with a new girl. Altogether, 3 women in less than 2 weeks. By the way, the other male roommate living in that place, didn't get anywhere with any of the women at their house that weekend, while the player guy slept with 3 of the women out of the 5 there.

 

Well, I know that things like that happen... heck, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING can and will happen out there...

 

but I just don't think it's terribly common. It's more an exceptional circumstance, IMO. The majority of people are living and dating in a normal world.

 

Now maybe I'm biased because my group of friends have never and will never be involved in the hookup scene. Maybe if I had many friends that were into casual dating and hooking up and FWB, I'd hear about these scenarios more often.

 

But I don't. I hear the odd tale or two from time to time, about an unfortunate setup... but it's always a girl who's stringing along multiple men. And always to my frustration it was a girl that I sadly couldn't understand WHY these men were so interested in her. She was an absolute mess.... and publicly humiliated and stomped on the hearts of several men over the last few years. And had sex with way too many of my coworkers.

 

But I cannot think of a single man I know who has hoarded away a bunch of women.... and can think of maybe 3 women I've ever known who've done it.

 

It's just not a common thing IMO.

[Necris]

Well, quite simply, I can firmly say that I have never been hoarded away...

 

I get this vision of a man who locks a harem of women away in a bloody closet. I mean, really....

 

In my opinion, the entire premise of the thread is just very illogical and rarely based in reality.

 

To picture what OP is saying consider this:

 

10 men and 10 women decide to do a meetup no one knows anyone.

 

Overtime 2 of the guys hog all the attention, women just naturally just love them with them putting zero effort in and end up getting dates/planning sex with 5 of the most attractive women between them. the other 5 guys work hard and they end up meeting a girl each. Unfortunately 3 guys luck out completely.

 

And 1 of those 3 guys lucks out literally all the time, never getting a date.

[Phoe]

To picture what OP is saying consider this:

 

10 men and 10 women decide to do a meetup no one knows anyone.

 

Overtime 2 of the guys hog all the attention, women just naturally just love them with them putting zero effort in and end up getting dates/planning sex with 5 of the most attractive women between them. the other 5 guys work hard and they end up meeting a girl each. Unfortunately 3 guys luck out completely.

 

And 1 of those 3 guys lucks out literally all the time, never getting a date.

 

That would assume that all 10 women even get chosen.

 

Perhaps some of the women choose no one. Perhaps some of the women don't get chosen by anyone.

 

Why is the automatic assumption that all 10 women are just going to be snatched up, and that they're all gonna be happy to share those "top men".

 

Doesn't sound pleasant or realistic to me at all.

[calvincline47]

I don't even know what to say? Apparently you've never heard the term "the harder I work the luckier I get". I want to know who told you life would be easy? Your thoughts are correct, being alone is easier. If you want easy just give up...it's easy!

 

I work hard at my job. It's taken a lot of hard work to get to this point. Now, I'd like a woman to just fall into my lap. After all, that's what most women experience.

 

I don't see why I should have to put in so much work when we supposedly have equal rights.

[Necris]

That would assume that all 10 women even get chosen.

 

Perhaps some of the women choose no one. Perhaps some of the women don't get chosen by anyone.

 

Why is the automatic assumption that all 10 women are just going to be snatched up, and that they're all gonna be happy to share those "top men".

 

Doesn't sound pleasant or realistic to me at all.

 

Generally what really happens is the players in a situation like this go through every girl they can one by one and then leave, the girls also get mad that they allowed themselves to be played and leave as well. And some of the girls just leave because they didn't like anybody. The average guys manage to find somebody, and the below average guys just luck out.

 

The most realistic situation is this though 30 guys show up only 10 girls.

8 of the guys get a girl, the rest of the guys are just so unattractive, shy, etc none of the girls want them, and the 2 girls who couldn't find or just never intended to find anyone leave. 5 of the guys become friends with each other and then leave to make a Dungeons and Dragons group. the other 17 guys go find some other group.

 

 

Though really its not players that's causing the below average guys to not find relationships its themselves.

[calvincline47]

 

Most single guys I know that can, do keep a few women around. Before I got with my now GF, I had a few women around. I had one girl who told me I could call her whenever I wanted a BJ, but she knew I wouldn't date her. I had an ex GF from high school come back into the picture, telling me she regrets how things went, and wants to get together. I had another woman in my college who offered to be my GF, then offered a FWB situation when I said I wasn't interested in her as a GF. She was doing my school work for me too. Sweet deal. I had yet another girl that I used to date, who came by for a hook-up a couple times and continued to text me, even after she got a boyfriend. I also met this sexy little girl at my work that I hung out with a few times. All of that took place over the course of about 3 months. There might be someone in there I'm forgetting. Not sure.

 

It's not that they are happy to share those top men, but they definitely don't want any of the others. Not enough chemistry.

 

This is definitely true.

 

I was like this in college. I had tons of women around and, yes, I hoarded them. But I was in the Top 10% of my college in social status (club promoter, bartender, knew about all of the parties, and knew all of the frats). So this definitely does happen.

 

And I agree as well. Women do not want to share these men, but are willing to if that's what it takes to get them.

 

These days, I don't want multiple women. Just one. But now they are all being hoarded by other men.

[Hawaii51]

How much money does he make, and also you said he's the type of guy who travels the world, writes books, and works with the RedCross, if he is successful with women its probably due to these things here.

 

As for being a douchebag, I'm pretty sure that's not the issue, hell the guy you know could be one, but that won't matter much.

 

The guys who can't get a girl in addition to being probably unattractive physically in some way also have other hurdles more often than not.

 

For example some guys just don't have interests that are interesting to most people, for most women programming just isn't as interesting as writing books, if a guy mentions he writes books and is good at it many girls would love to hear what he has to say, but if a guy says oh I was writing some code girls are going to have no interest at all.

 

Also related to interests a lack of certain interests can also be unattractive like a guy who just isn't interested in sports, celebrity news, and things most people are interested in may seem odd.

 

Some interests just are more attractive to women than others. I often find myself trying to talk to girls and we have 0 common interests.

 

Related to interests traveling around the world also is a big boost for a man, not only does he get to meet more women from different cultures, the fact that he has the opportunity or money to travel is also attractive and girls want to hear his stories.

 

Another issue is also the possibility of mental illness. autism, being depressed, having anxiety issues like GAD, social anxiety, and OCD, bipolar, or especially schizophrenia will make it more difficult to find girls because you are dealing with your own problems and then when you do try to date if these issues are detected this will lower your value immensely.

 

Social skills could also be low and with low experience they may make mistakes often diminishing their attractiveness as they don't know what to do.

 

Race could be an issue as well minorities may find it difficult to find other minorities where they live and the people of the majority may not find them attractive which reduces their options.

 

Having a different culture/values than the rest of the people around could also cause issues for instance a hardcore liberal may find it difficult to get dates in a hardcore conservative town and vice versa. Or being hardcore Christian but everybody around including other Christians fall more into the areligious category.

 

And some people are just plain unlucky, they for whatever reason are unable to determine interest in others well at all so they consistently approach women who just aren't interested in them when there are girls that could be interested in them they could be approaching. But they are unable to grasp things like flirting and such as they are unable to read people, so they'll never know unless girls stopped being so passive and actually told him directly she's interested.

 

So we can agree that relationships form on multidimensional levels outside preconditioned norms. Sweet!

[ZA Dater]

What a truly depressing thread! Having said that I too have just given up, realised I don't have dating skills and any qualities the people I like find attractive

[Necris]

So we can agree that relationships form on multidimensional levels outside preconditioned norms. Sweet!

 

How attractive a man is depends largely on how physically attractive he is so probably like 50% at least.

 

Then also things like status, shared interests/beliefs, personality etc are the other 50%.

 

All of these things together is what makes someone attractive.

 

What I was saying is guys who can't get a date are outside of the norm in some way.

Edited May 10, 2015 by Necris

[ZA Dater]

What I was saying is guys who can't get a date are outside of the norm in some way.

 

 

Absolutely 100% true based on my own experience. I don't club, don't drink, don't go to church, do play on a sports team and guess what.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I cant get a date or at least get one with anyone interesting.

[elaine567]

To picture what OP is saying consider this:

 

10 men and 10 women decide to do a meetup no one knows anyone.

 

Overtime 2 of the guys hog all the attention, women just naturally just love them with them putting zero effort in and end up getting dates/planning sex with 5 of the most attractive women between them. the other 5 guys work hard and they end up meeting a girl each. Unfortunately 3 guys luck out completely.

 

And 1 of those 3 guys lucks out literally all the time, never getting a date.

Where do you get those figures from?

[JuneJulySeptember]

That would assume that all 10 women even get chosen.

 

Perhaps some of the women choose no one. Perhaps some of the women don't get chosen by anyone.

 

Why is the automatic assumption that all 10 women are just going to be snatched up, and that they're all gonna be happy to share those "top men".

 

Doesn't sound pleasant or realistic to me at all.

 

It's skewed a bit.

 

A lot of it comes because men must approach so average and below average men very often get rejected by women in their league in favor of better looking men.

 

That happens a lot.

 

Men tend to go for the hot women too, but an average woman can ALWAYS find average men to have sex with and date. An average man will have more trouble. Nobody can argue that.

[ltjg45]

Where you are from, this is absolutely true. I've been there. You've got to move to find better women. They barely exist at all in Jacksonville.

 

Just curious but which cities would you recommend me to move to?

[Negative Nancy]

As much as many of us try to deny it, by and large we have all met Billys and Timmys. They are the acquaintances we know that never seem to have a girlfriend, despite being strictly heterosexual.

 

 

As much as some will try to deny it, In the dating game women are not dating men in an equal 1:1 ratio. More often it's One guy like Chad dating, hooking up with or having a one night stand with 5 or even 10 women. It is an ironic paradox; Women often complain that men are hungry sex hounds, yet will fall straight into the arms of Jakes and Chads, while avoiding Timmy and Billy like the plague.

 

Scientifically, however it makes perfect sense as it falls in line with Darwins theory of natural selection.

 

The reason being:

 

Women will never give a man good advice on how to really improve or become better with other women, because the idea of a man needing help with these things in the first place makes that man detestable. There is a reason why women put all men into either the "resource donor (BB)" group or the "gene donor (AF)" group. They want those good genes, and if you don't have them, you're only good for resources. A man with what they feel are bad genes who tricked them into having sex with them is an insult. Giving a man good advice for him on how to be more successful with women is teaching a man with bad genes on how to trick a girl into letting him be a gene donor by mistake. It ****s their whole system up. You're either a source of quality genetic material for their offspring, or you exist to supply them with resources, and either way you should know your place naturally and never ever try to get out of it if you're the resource donor type. This is why they use the macro-**** test of "just be yourself". It sounds nice and sweet, but what it literally means is "don't camouflage yourself. Either be a natural obvious Alpha or a natural obvious Beta so we know whether or not to have sex with you or use you without having to do any work to see what you're really like underneath".

 

When you consider that time is truly the only resource of value, it becomes much more clear. Men use time to produce, create, and achieve. Women use time to find a mate. Men have most of their lives to use their time to achieve their goals. But women have a much more narrow window to find a mate. They have roughly 10 years, plus or minus 3-5 years, of solid good looks and fertility in which to get their rocks off riding the CC, and then securing the best mate they can before the timer runs out and they hit the wall. They know this. When a fake Alpha tricks them into dating him for any period of time, to the woman he is robbing her of that precious time she could have been using finding a real Alpha or at least having fun. She never gets those years back. When she starts dating the fake Alpha when she's 23 and realizes he was a pussy Beta when she's 27, that's 4 years of prime good looks that are gone forever. She feels robbed of the most precious thing in the world. And because of this, they simply cannot stand the idea of helping a fake Alpha pull off that robbery on them or any other woman. Add in the fact that to them the simple fact of asking for advice puts you squarely in the Beta column already, and as a Beta you don't deserve good advice. You're not really even a person. You're basically an uppity peasant who should know his place and instead you're insulting her with notions of being a real man. If you were capable of being a real man you wouldn't need to ask my advice in the first place. How dare you presume to be anything other than a useful orbiter. Now make sure you're done with my term paper before tomorrow. And be awake later tonight at 3am. I'm gonna need a ride home from Chad's and I'll be too drunk to drive myself.

Edited May 10, 2015 by Negative Nancy

[Negative Nancy]

Men tend to go for the hot women too, but an average woman can ALWAYS find average men to have sex with and date.

 

Yes, but it's not what women ultimately want.

 

Somehow men seem to think that women are "luckier" or on the "bright side of life" simply because men just want to have sex with her and women get more sex offers than men.

 

What men fail to understand is that to a woman, that is the same as telling a man: "hey, at least you got to have a conversation with that beautiful woman and were allowed to be her useful orbiter."

 

What man would be genuinely happy about that?

 

 

A woman that can have sex but doesn't get the commitment feels the same way as a man who is being friendzoned and doesn't get sex.

Edited May 10, 2015 by Negative Nancy

[LookAtThisPOst]

You know, I get a kick out of how analogies are being drawn to the animal kingdom, as if it were an "out" for shallow behavior in desiring someone else.

 

Now, I can understand if a woman is in her early 20s (college-aged), when they are exploring the mistakes they've learned from (some never learning), but as one matures...this is what sets us apart from the animals.

 

As humans, we shouldn't be comparable to the animals.

[ascendotum]

You'd be surprised. I have a friend now who hooks up with different women all the time. Some of them know what is going on, and others are in total denial about it. He is living with one girl, but not dating her. She hopes to date him, but he is just looking to be a roommate. He will have sex with her though. He already had one girl over to his new place, and that girl has a boyfriend, but is cheating with my friend. They had a party at their place, and one of the girls there was upset and crying. Another roommate that stays there asked her what was up, and she was angry that the player friend was not talking to her, and that they had "made love" a few nights ago. Evidently, player guy was well on his way to hooking up with a new girl that night, which worked out in his favor.

 

Basically, dude is living with one girl, just had sex with 2 different women in the same week, and ignored all other women to hook up with a new girl. Altogether, 3 women in less than 2 weeks. By the way, the other male roommate living in that place, didn't get anywhere with any of the women at their house that weekend, while the player guy slept with 3 of the women out of the 5 there.

 

Yes this is how it works for a number of guys. I was in a social group where the two most desirable guys slept with over 2/3 of the women + with good referrals they got to sleep with some of their other friends/co-workers/cousins that had gone out with us on occasions. Even though they saw them score other women for ons (they tended to be more attractive so likely not viewed negatively)

 

The premise of the OP as regards hoarding away women is ridiculous though as they mostly bed them and are on to the next. The women may sit out of the relationship market for awhile though hoping to snag a top shelf guy or keep having fun with them. Even the threads that talk about the top 10% getting most of the women are OTT. There is imbalances in the market though and when it comes to people dismissing how can the top % of men get so many % of women, they view it incorrectly in terms of relationships or view as sequential encounters or with all M&F dating someone always or that women only ever sleep with their comparable men, and no one cheats, etc. I have/had friends who have only slept with 1 or 2 women and a handful of others that are in triple digits, so when you add up all the ladies the friends have slept with the most desirable 30% could very likely have accounted for say 70% of that total, and the vast majority of the women were simply nsa.

[ascendotum]

A woman that can have sex but doesn't get the commitment feels the same way as a man who is being friendzoned and doesn't get sex.

Depends on the woman and depends on the phase in her life. Many are pretty savvy when it comes to hookups with players/hot guys knowing she is not going to be good enough to snag him but its still worthwhile.

[elaine567]

Depends on the woman and depends on the phase in her life. Many are pretty savvy when it comes to hookups with players/hot guys knowing she is not going to be good enough to snag him but its still worthwhile.

 

Yes, there are some girls who see men as notches on the bed post true, but she is also often just an orbiter, just like the friend-zone guy, she is hoping she can snag him, but realises that is a long shot so she takes what she can get.

The friend-zone guy will also just put up with the hugs and the coffees and the shopping realising it is a long shot, but he takes what he can get.

Better a friendly hug than nothing, is equivalent to, better a ONS than nothing.

[elaine567]

Odd genetics making for less than average attractiveness

 

I know nothing about Jacksonville, but I once visited a town which will remain nameless, but I was also amazed at how unattractive the inhabitants were, both men and women. There was a definite "look".

I thought that would be impossible in modern times, but there it was.