Hopeful714 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 And the beer bellied chip eating dudes expect girls with the abs too. Why cant people understand this has as much to do with compatible lifestyles as it does physical aesthetics and the two rarely mix? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Chip eating.... I've never heard that one lol Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 And the beer bellied chip eating dudes expect girls with the abs too. Why cant people understand this has as much to do with compatible lifestyles as it does physical aesthetics and the two rarely mix? My favorite is when they want a girl who isn't afraid to eat, can put down 10 beers in a night, but they want her to have the abs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 If the Billy's would just lower their standards in their societal order they would get more women and become Chad's in their order. Look at it like boxing where there are many champions in different weight classes. Just know which class you are in and strive to be the best in it. Regards, Top tier champion. I agree with your philosophy. If your hot or bit above average or average or below average, and you you can't move up then accept it and do the best you can in your level. Still its better to get the payday from winning the world heavy weight title then it is for winning the world flyweight title. Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I find the comment about heavier women feeling entitled to washboard abs offensive, personally. Out of shape, unattractive men strive for more attractive women, too. Back when I was a little heavier, it was always the most physically unappealing men who were the most unpleasant toward me, and it's like they assumed that just because I was heavy, I wanted them (when I wasn't even flirting with them). So it goes both ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 It's delusional. Live like a sloth.....and look like a model? It doesn't work that way lol. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) My favorite is when they want a girl who isn't afraid to eat, can put down 10 beers in a night, but they want her to have the abs. I was astonished when I'd go to the gym, and then go to see my ex, and he'd have laid in bed all day eating funyuns and drinking mountain dew by the liter. He did not seem to understand why I did not want to have this same lifestyle as him. Was like "I thought you were the kind of girl who has an appetite" - yeah, for NORMAL food. Give me meats and veggies all day, I definitely eat a lot for being rather small. People don't understand the difference between calorie intake and macronutrient intake, and alternately just plain eating large volumes of empty, crappy foods. Gotta feed the muscles! Edited May 14, 2015 by Phoe 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I find the comment about heavier women feeling entitled to washboard abs offensive, personally. Out of shape, unattractive men strive for more attractive women, too. Back when I was a little heavier, it was always the most physically unappealing men who were the most unpleasant toward me, and it's like they assumed that just because I was heavy, I wanted them (when I wasn't even flirting with them). So it goes both ways. I've never been unpleasant to them, but let me tell you, it's very, very true. I'm like a big girl magnet. Throw my pic on a dating site and watch what happens. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I find the comment about heavier women feeling entitled to washboard abs offensive, personally. Out of shape, unattractive men strive for more attractive women, too. Back when I was a little heavier, it was always the most physically unappealing men who were the most unpleasant toward me, and it's like they assumed that just because I was heavy, I wanted them (when I wasn't even flirting with them). So it goes both ways. Interesting. I wonder if it was a bit because you were friendlier (but not flirty) than the slimmer women they fancied and there was a level of frustration that the friendlier women for them as less attractive guys seemed to only be the less sexier women. As a skinny guy I noticed the average looking thin/petite girls tended to be the least friendly to me (more so then the gorgeous slim girls). Chubby women were definitely more friendly. I do not behave unpleasant to them though as I have experienced being treated differently at different times in my life based on my weight/looks and it shyte me and I am conscious of not doing it myself. Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I've always been very friendly and outgoing, and you're right; some may take that as flirting. But it seems as if men expect that chubbier women are automatically hitting on them just because they're (the women) are less "attractive" by society's standards. I could say something as simple as "Can I borrow this bar stool?" and they'd cop an attitude or make a face. At the same time, let me tell you, I really had no problem finding "attractive" guys when I went out at a larger size. Not that every cute guy flocked to me, but I could get numbers and dates. It was because I was confident in my own skin, wore nice clothes (I didn't feel I had to wear a sweatshirt five sizes too big to hide myself), did my hair and makeup and wasn't too aggressive. My ex, whom I've been without for two weeks now, was in a different "league" than me (higher, IMO), and I've never been a size two and he had noticed me weeks before we met. It's all about your attitude, and some heavier women carry their weight very well. Then there are those who let their breasts and gut hang out who have it a little harder. Maybe heavier women do have to be a little more modest? Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The heavier woman can do well if she is well kept in ALL other areas. It's when one looks sloppy there is problems. Look at kim Kardashian. Not a skinny whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The heavier woman can do well if she is well kept in ALL other areas. It's when one looks sloppy there is problems. Look at kim Kardashian. Not a skinny whatsoever. You're right. I see larger women out at bars (and I'm not usually one to judge other women) wearing shirts and jeans that are way too small and spaghetti strap tank tops and they seem to wonder why no guys want to deal with them. I can't help but wonder if they're aware of how bad they look. It's as if some larger women "give up" on their looks and dress like tomboys and try to fade into the background. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 If the Billy's would just lower their standards in their societal order they would get more women and become Chad's in their order. Look at it like boxing where there are many champions in different weight classes. Just know which class you are in and strive to be the best in it. Regards, Top tier champion. You could argue the same for women too though, probably even more so. I mean, there's been some women I have absolutely been in love with and thought were the most beautiful women on Earth (and knew as persons as well), but they were not interested. They'd rather date men who treat them as a goldfish in a tank a Chinese restaurant, at best. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I mean, there's been some women I have absolutely been in love with and thought were the most beautiful women on Earth (and knew as persons as well), but they were not interested. People like what they like. Just because YOU were in love and thought HER beautiful doesn't equate to HER being in love and finding YOU beautiful. Too many, I feel end up with people who love them, because 1) they do not want to disappoint or upset the besotted souls, 2) they are flattered by the attention, 3) they decide that it is pretty good in a practical capacity to have a partner that loves them wholeheartedly. BUT they do not truly love that person and that often leads to issues. Also to some, loving and caring for a person is far more important than getting that love back in return. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 People like what they like. Just because YOU were in love and thought HER beautiful doesn't equate to HER being in love and finding YOU beautiful. Uh yea. I know that. It was only a response to that poster's assertion that if men went for women who wanted them, then life would be awesome. In a similar vein, women could go for men who are absolutely ga-ga for them (and most women do have multiple men who are absolutely ga-ga). Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Carson Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The more this thread go on the more it bothers me about all this ‘’top tier people’’ talk, If this were true my wife would have left me a long time ago. Last year my wife was getting in her car, I man she said was hansom pulls up in a 250k two seat sports car and says hey! you want to go for a ride? She said sure but where are you going to sit when my husband gets in the car! They both laughed and he drove away, but she has never been the type to fawn over big money or egos.As others have said people are attracted to much more than uber good looks and wealth. Yes if you have bad teeth, breath, hair, dress and smell like a bum, you odds are slim. How about instead of worrying about how Chad and Jake hoard all the women, you just try to be the best person you can be. I don’t know if there is Karma, but if you put out good feelings and vibes, I do believe good things will come to you. No one wants to be with someone who’s down, smile and be nice to people, kind and helpful. To some women a top tier (I hate that term) guy is someone that dedicates their time to other people or a cause they believe in. What my wife finds most attractive about me would surprise you, it has nothing to do with looks or money. Two things stick out in my mind, once we were at the zoo with our kids when they were small, my daughter had an ice cream cone, it was all melty, messy and all over. I took the cone and licked it clean for her and gave it back to my smiling daughter, my wife just looked at me. I thought she was going to say, well that was gross but she said when we get home and put the kids to bed you’re in trouble mister. And just last week we went to dinner, I dropped my wife off at the door and parked. When I was walking in a car was dropping of an elderly woman, she was struggling to get out of the car so I stopped and helped her, then I walked the elderly woman in arm in arm. In the restaurant my wife tells me, no good deed goes unpunished and when we get home you’re gonna get punished! That kind of thing, being nice to people helping, is like female Viagra to her. Live YOUR life and stop worrying about what the other guys have, work on your attitude just as much or more than your looks and body, if you want quality and not some shallow passing fling that is.I know some of you would just like a date, like in real estate it's location,location, location, with most good people it's attitude, attitude, attitude..so good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The more this thread go on the more it bothers me about all this ‘’top tier people’’ talk, ^ Agree, it really is an infantile oversimplification of humanity, reducing us all to sth similar to head of cattle or sth like that. Those sorts of generalizations are almost useless except for use gathering census data or the like - 'women aged 40-50,' 'top tier men,' etc. LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Uh yea. I know that. It was only a response to that poster's assertion that if men went for women who wanted them, then life would be awesome. In a similar vein, women could go for men who are absolutely ga-ga for them (and most women do have multiple men who are absolutely ga-ga). Women do go for men who want them. Ultimately, we are looking for someone who wants us as much as we want them. It's hard to find that match. But no, just wanting us doesn't make us want them. It's two separate factors: Do I want him? (yes/no) If no, move on. If yes, then, does he want me? (yes/no) If no, move on. If yes, :bunny::love: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Women do go for men who want them. Ultimately, we are looking for someone who wants us as much as we want them. It's hard to find that match. But no, just wanting us doesn't make us want them. It's two separate factors: Do I want him? (yes/no) If no, move on. If yes, then, does he want me? (yes/no) If no, move on. If yes, :bunny::love: It was not the point I was trying to make in this thread, but somebody wanting me a lot would be a major factor in me liking them. And since it's not black and white in terms of whom I am attracted to but varying degrees, the chances are really high that if a woman wanted me and she was cool and nice enough, I'd at least date her. But I understand. You won't let a guy touch you unless you want to tear his shirt and underwear off with your teeth. And most women are like that. I understand. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 It was not the point I was trying to make in this thread, but somebody wanting me a lot would be a major factor in me liking them. And since it's not black and white in terms of whom I am attracted to but varying degrees, the chances are really high that if a woman wanted me and she was cool and nice enough, I'd at least date her. But I understand. You won't let a guy touch you unless you want to tear his shirt and underwear off with your teeth. And most women are like that. I understand. Most men are like that, too. People want to feel strong feelings, passion, and attraction for their partner. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Most men are like that, too. People want to feel strong feelings, passion, and attraction for their partner. I may or may not welcome that. Based on past experiences of those feelings, I probably do not. But my mind might change. But let's just say I might get a hit by a bus in 2016. I'm sure as hell not holding out until I find somebody who I have that passion with and who has that with me when I have a perfectly fun woman who can go drinking, jogging and kayaking with me. But I see your side. It doesn't surprise me either. Didn't you say your daughter is like 12 and already has dozens of boys who like her? Love is different for everybody. There is no 'right' way to do love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I may or may not welcome that. Based on past experiences of those feelings, I probably do not. But my mind might change. But let's just say I might get a hit by a bus in 2016. I'm sure as hell not holding out until I find somebody who I have that passion with and who has that with me when I have a perfectly fun woman who can go drinking, jogging and kayaking with me. But I see your side. It doesn't surprise me either. Didn't you say your daughter is like 12 and already has dozens of boys who like her? Love is different for everybody. There is no 'right' way to do love. I agree there is no one right way. I'm just pointing out that the desire to feel strongly attraction and passion is not a woman thing. It is typical for both men and women. For most, compelling attraction is the difference between friends and lovers. YMMV, of course. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 You know what's interested about psychology, and about this thread in general? Every single person, no matter age, lifestyle, or social status, has what they would consider "a stable of problems". The thing is, 'first world problems' is cliché, but it is a real philosophy. If you're poor and on the street, your problems are people abusing you and getting fed. If you're a middle class white guy, you worry about your height, weight, bald spots, etc. If you're a perceived 'Chad', you worry about all the shallow relationships you've built. You worry about keeping up perceptions. No matter how vain the problem...your worst problems always seem really, really significant. That's why this whole conversation is inane. There is no 'Chad'. There is no 'top tier'. There's just a bunch of people playing their hands and hoping to get a full house on the river once in a while. Next time you think you have problems. Take a look at your life and think, "is this really worth being upset about?" Unless you are worrying about staying warm, getting clean water, a terrible illness, or finding food...then chill out. And seeing how we're talking on an internet forum about dating...the very definition of 'first world', I doubt those are your issues. tl;dr: Make the most of yourself. That's all you can do. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The heavier woman can do well if she is well kept in ALL other areas. It's when one looks sloppy there is problems. Look at kim Kardashian. Not a skinny whatsoever. I don't think the guys are talkin' bout the Kim K type. I sure as hell wasn't referring to that when I said chubby. lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Well in many animals, only a few males get to mate with all the females, so I'm not surprised Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts