Search4clarity Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 I suffer anxiety. Usually social, but also job interview, dating, being accepted, or knowing the rules of the games we all play. Really I have what amounts to "high school fear of not being cool enough", but it persists through life. I been through it all before. I completed the cycle. I'm on my 3rd go at it, I'm over 40 now. I thought it goes away. It doesn't. It may go away for ten years, but as soon as a layoff or breakup happens and I "slip" and let too much time pass, it's back to square one. Because the pool of people changed. If it were the same pool, they'd just say "welcome back!" but instead it's a brand new batch. So it is "Who are you? I don't know you". They do not realize I was them once and went equally as high. What doesn't help is I look very young. So my flashback to being the freshmen in high school with no friends returns, but more literally, because my looks makes younger people think I'm like them, at their phase in life (fast, edgy, thick skinned) but in reality I feel older, frailer, softer. It's one of the 'curses' of looking so young, despite everyone saying youth is great. It's great only so long as you are "in it". But once outside and having to "get it back" it can be tricky. Especially nowdays, with so many youthful looking adults. I guess this isn't really a question, it's just a thing I wanted to talk about.. but I couldn't talk to therapist cause, well, I had anxiety of them haha. The irony... Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
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