Does anyone have this constant feeling of not having achieved enough

[Krieger]

It like hey I am 31 and have nothing to show for it it suck big time and feel like a bum. I have no GF no career and work a dead end job that does not pay that great at all well you cant feed a family on $19.85 an hour .

 

It not all about the money but money is important. My dad worked retail and I am stuck doing it right now . Even though I am going back to college and paying out of pocket I cant help but worry what if I do not make it? What if I fail to get into nursing school and now stuck for life at a dead end retail job?

 

I always told myself if i cant have a career I am not going to help bring kids into this world if i cant give them every thing I did not have. That being said if I get stuck working retail.

 

The big issue I have with retail it the way they dangling carrot in front of you like donkey and tell you the have big plains for you but have zero intention of actually following through. That is what is happening with my dad and he been there 30 years of giving up everything and working 6 days a week 12/14+ hour days for most of the 30 years.

 

If that was me I would of told them to go F them self years ago it is now or never .

 

That being said we hardly took any family trips or did anything as a family and he did not have time for me . It suck when all I wanted to do is spend time with my dad but get pushed away growing up.

 

I do not want that life If ever meet a girl and we have kids . I want to have a well paying job and have the time to go do things as a family and be more involved in my kids life.

 

I do not have any friends I had to get rid of them all because they had became a cancer and I never reach my goals of going back to college and going all in on school.

 

I am motivated by the fear of hating myself. Emotionally I dwell on things forever. I'm an obsessive thinker. I obsess on things I've done wrong. Even worse than mistakes, I'll dwell on what I'm not doing at the moment.

 

Also add to the fact I worry a girl will never fall in love with a guy like me. Even though people seem to like me and have noting but good things to say.

 

The reason i am going into nursing is not for the money . It is more I have a way with people that some do not. I understand where people are coming from and always think about other people before myself.

 

I am an introvert and proud of it. I have been called an old soul since my 20s. Introverts observe and take in a lot of information, and they think before they speak. I ammore likely to listen to and carefully process the ideas and feelings of others.

 

Also I sometimes know what people are thinking and can pick up on things most people miss .

 

I can be out going I feel like it but I do like trying new things and taking risk.

[loveweary11]

You're just feeling nervous and impatient.

 

Getting into nursing is a long road and you're only doing 30mph because you're working and going to school. Yours is one of the cases where maybe taking on debt to quickly get through school without working makes sense.

 

What's the lowest nurse pay where you are? How does it compare to $20/hr you make right now? If it's a lot more and you could finish in a year or so full time school, I'd jump right in head first with loans and get where you want to be. Seems like you just feel stuck.

 

And your whole post is about hating retail, feeling stuck.

 

You could be out in a very short time if you're sure of employment after school and are willing to pay interest on the same tuition you have to pay working retail or working nursing.

[NGC1300]

Don't fall for the society trap.

 

Careers and family may be used as indicators of "achievement", but you'll still be in a monotonous rat race just the same.

[d0nnivain]

I have felt like I haven't lived up to my potential at times. It's not a constant feeling but at low points it was a consistent feeling (I felt that way for extended periods -- weeks / months -- during the lowest points of my depression)

 

What helps me are the small goals. Yesterday I managed to clear off my desk. In my profession, that is very rare. Some thing else always comes up. However that simple victory gave me a sense of accomplishment.

 

Do something in life that feeds your soul: volunteer, study hard & get an A in a subject you struggle with, manage to save $100 this month. Once you have a small success the bigger ones will follow.

[Krieger]

Don't fall for the society trap.

 

Careers and family may be used as indicators of "achievement", but you'll still be in a monotonous rat race just the same.

 

Oh I know it a rat race out there and all.

 

It I'd also the fact I want a woman that has a career not a dead end job so I better have a career too.

 

Also my 1/2 sister is a nurse and I would not mind her schedule at all . She works 4 days each day being 14 hours long than gets 7 day off in a row.

 

That would give me the best of both world when I find a wife and have kids. I can watch my kids all week and get to have a career I love.

[ltjg45]

Compared to what I am capable of, my whole life up to this point has been nothing more than a big fat failure.

 

I am sure when I hit 60, I will still feel like I failed. I will have to make 6 figures a year to feel like I got somewhere....and since I am starting late, I doubt I will get that far.

 

But I will try and see what happens. It takes time and I feel I let too much time get away from me.

[Hawaii51]

It's amazing how seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years add up to a life, huh? It's also amazing that you can stop mid-stream and look back like you're doing now and realize that at any moment you can be someone different. You decide if you breathe fresh air or a cigarette, a cookie or an apple, learn a new skill/hobby or continue playing video games. Every single second is littered with options, opportunity and trade-offs on the next second-day-week etc..

 

Personally, you have no excuses. So what are you going to do with the rest of your day, Sir?

 

"We're all self-made but only the successful will admit it." -Earl Nightengale

 

If that resonates...

 

Watch this video, the title is cheesy but It's rather timeless. (it's about 50yrs old if i'm not mistaken)

 

[Hawaii51]

I was about 22 and coming to age in Honolulu and about a year away from exiting the US ARMY. I had some leave that wouldn't roll over to the next year and decided to just burn it on the island, relaxing. Randomly, I had a local buddy that had to get rid of a nice bag of mushrooms- I obliged. I ended up having an amazing week, and tripped just about every night.

 

Anyways... I went into that week with the heartful goal of figuring a little bit about myself and what I'd like to do with my life ( I was getting out of the military in about a year). In the end, I determined that I didn't want to be anything. Anything conventional,, that is. I wanted to be a Father, a husband, a brother, a gardener, a garage tinkering physicist, an author? Basically I knew- sure as poop- that I didn't want to work for a living. That I wanted my time and I need as many options for my future as possible. I didn't want to be a doctor or lawyer, a mechanic or accountant. I just wanted my time to decide how I spend my day. Do I wake up and go to work on a project for fun, money, or necessity? Or do I roll over and **** my hot hypothetical wife? Play with my hypothetical kids? Go fishing, play in the garden, or just do nothing at all. MaiTai anyone?

 

So I have this heartful goal in mind and no way to get there. I realized I'd have to work smarter. I traded-off a large portion of my life ( I'd say 25-30) and am just beginning to enjoy only some of the fruits of my labor.

 

 

I still haven't pulled this trick completely out of my bum, but I'm well on my way and collecting residual monthly. Basically, I'm happy to have shot for the stars- and landed in a small vacation home half a stones throw away from the ocean.

 

But it's something I worked a solid 6 years for. Life didn't stop, but I had to trade-off a lot, and you will too.

 

Maybe take some mushrooms? lmao.