RoseVille Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 I have another MM story that y'all might find both appalling and hilarious. I did not get involved with him, but figured it would be interesting to post here to the OWs. This is about another guy at work, I'll call him... Howard. We became friends 4 years ago, and our friendship deepened over the second half of that time. He is objectively attractive, smart, kind, thoughtful, smart, a great dad - and very married, with three children, one who is special needs. He is married to a lovely woman who works from home. During our friendship, he was my confidant. He gave me advice in all areas of my life, and I returned the favor. He knew some of my deepest, most painful experiences. In turn, he shared some deep stuff as well, often verging on violating his wife's privacy. I wouldn't call it an EA at all, even on his side, as there was no verbal affection or whatever. It was just over-sharing. I never thought of him as anything but a friend, almost like a brother. So, I was quite surprised when one day on the way to lunch, he reached for my hand to hold it. "WTF are you doing?!" I shrieked. Across from him at the lunch table, he proceeded to tell me he'd fallen in love with me, he was miserable in his marriage, his wife was cold and heartless (but they were having sex 1-2x a day), he loved how warm I was and "could tell" that I was affectionate (despite never being affectionate with him). I recall drawing my fingers back and forth across the table as if to draw a line, telling him there was a line in the sand that would not be crossed, so long as he was married. In all honesty, his marital status was the easy way out of rejecting him, as even if he wasn't married, I just didn't feel that way about him at all. He said he understood, but that he wanted to be with me. I remember laughing at him, and feeling bad about that, but it was just so... BIZARRE. Out of nowhere, awkward... I couldn't understand how this MARRIED guy was able to feel such chemistry with me like this! For the next few months, he continued to send me little notes and texts that were crazy affectionate. In turn, I'd remind him he was married. Crazily, I actually believed him to be sincere in his feelings for me! Haha!! I also felt heartbroken, because he had been somewhat of the model of the type of man I wanted for myself. Until his confession, he was a man of integrity, a committed husband, a devoted dad. A really, really good dude. But his behavior just made me lose all sorts of respect for him. I remember thinking, "It's true. All the good ones are gone. Because even the good ones aren't really good ones." And his reasons for being unhappy were just complete and utter bull**** LIES, the biggest was that she was a "cold mother, the kids are even scared of her, that's why I can't leave, I can't leave them alone with her." Ummmm, she's alone with them 40+ hours a week at home, and I've met her, with the kids, and she radiates warmth and those kids adore her. She's an unloving mother and they're scared of her, my arse! Anyway, he continued with little notes, cards, texts, even selfies of himself in random places - like the grocery store, or outside a building - letting me know he was thinking of me. I can't tell you how many times I was like, "Um, this can't happen. Talk to your wife." After a couple months of this, I'd had enough, and I basically bit his head off one day around Christmas over this whole thing, after which we basically never spoke again. We cross paths at work, and we acknowledge each other with a polite, "Hi," but that's it. So, fast forward to this past week. A coworker in a different job classification and I were talking about how rampant rumors are of various types in our office, especially about relationships. She said, "Yeah, there are all these rumors that I'm screwing around with Robert, but that's not true, just like the rumors that you and Howard are screwing aren't true." Wait, what? Rumors? Of me and Howard, who I've been rejecting for months?! Ohhh nooo... I ask her to explain what she means. She says that everyone thought something was going on because we were always talking and going to lunch together, but she knows it's not true because, well, he's in love with her. Howard, who's been professing love to me - and not getting it returned - is in love with her, too! Who would have thought! Long story short, I react to her confession that he's in love with her with an "Ohhh reeealllyyyy," which leads us ultimately to exchange stories, and whaddyaknow, ... same story. Same lead up. Same texts. Same cards. Same notes. Same selfies even! All sent at the same time! Damn, he must have had trouble balancing the two contemporaneous efforts! Our offices are 20 feet apart! But then there was an interesting, hurtful twist. See, he'd tell her he was in love with her, and she'd say, "But you spend soooo much time with Rose... how can you love me when you spend so much time with her?" To which he'd respond: "Ewwww. No. No. We're JUST friends. She's pathetic, it's actually sad. I feel bad for her, really. I mean, ...." and then he'd share the personal, deep stuff that I'd previously shared with him in confidence to explain why he'd never be interested in me (and of course he twisted it to make me sound worse than it was). JERK! So, we took a selfie together and sent it to him with the caption, "Thought you'd like a selfie." He went into panic mode, texting and calling. He's afraid that she's going to out him to the office and to his wife. And in the 48 hours that followed, we learned of two other women he'd made advances on and made uncomfortable, very similar. 4 attempted OWs in the same office, within a year. Sociopath, or what? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Good job escaping that trap. Thanks for sharing. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 He's already "outted" to the office. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 I love that you sent him a selfie of you both...hysterical! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 hahaha, you are awesome Rose! luv it! Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Rose, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseVille Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 Rose, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Why does it matter here? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Adoraxx Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 What an idiot he is!!!! And I love the selfie of the two of you that you sent to him!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Why does it matter here? lol. It doesn't. Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseVille Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 lol. It doesn't. Just curious. Here, jerk dude is 41. The four women he propositioned are 30-38. Three of them carry guns as part of their job. There's usually camaraderie of a very special sort, but the shop is going downhill fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Ok, well there are a bunch of things that stand out to me in your story. You're not going to like it though, so do you want me to tell you or keep it to myself? Would want you biting my head off or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseVille Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) I'm not sure I follow. I wasn't looking for advice, just to share another instance of a lying cake eating MM. Edited May 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) I have not read thorough but why I have impression that you do not think high enough for yourself, and somehow you crave and are desperate for any tiny bit attention for those men, and does not matter who they are. Let us put this way, even being OWs, there have different kind of OWs, some of them, MMs do try to leave marriage, family, and everything behind and devote all the MM's time and money for OWs, does not matter what end result turns out. But for some OWs, MMs just threw them a bit piece of crap (such as tiny bit of spare time, phone call, text) to satisfy OWs and those women will be happy. Why I feel you are the kind of OWs do not want more for yourself. Edited May 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
HtotheN Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) This actually sounds very similar to my exwh. He was sending the SAME EXACT email messages to a handful of women on a very regular basis, and had each one convinced that she was the only one. Seriously; the only thing that he would change would be the email address. lol Edited May 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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