Is the Minimum Looks Threshold for Men Higher than Ever Before?

[calvincline47]

What "work" are you referring to? I see a lot of mention around here about all the "work" men are doing in comparison to women and don't understand. Are you talking about the 12 seconds it takes to ask a woman out on a date? Or the 3 seconds it takes to send a text message? Or a five minute phone call? Or the 2 minutes it takes to make a dinner reservation? What is all of this "work"?

 

Effort....like planning the date, talking to them on the phone, going to talk to them, actually talking to them. And that's only if the girl is interested in me at the beginning.

 

If she's not, then I have to put effort into turning her opinion around. I have to be very social to make a good impression. I have to make it look like I'm very positive about everything and have a ton of mainstream interests.

 

I hate dancing. Hate hiking. Hate doing active things. I have to pretend that I like this crap because most women like it.

[calvincline47]

I have a contrary experience with OLD as a male seeking a female, I find that there are plenty of girls looking for someone respectful online. At the very least they'll entertain a conversation with you and from there who knows what will happen. Coffee is just such an easy thing to suggest. The caveat here is that I'm in my 20's and I live in a big city, so YVMV. Also, since it's has been brought up above, I'm not white.

 

How tall are you?

[calvincline47]

Or whine about how haaaarrrrd it is

 

I'm not whining, personally. Just speaking the truth.

 

However, if I wanted to whine, I would have every right to and would do so proudly.

[calvincline47]

If you think talking to women is work, then I can see why those conversations aren't going so well. I enjoy speaking with women, and both of us end up enjoying the conversation.

 

I find most women to be boring.

 

 

 

More mistakes. If she is not interested, that's when you bow out. You aren't going to change her mind, you are just going to waste your time.

 

Nah, you can definitely change their minds. Most women are not attracted to me when they meet me, but actually develop interest when they get to know me (I don't display the feelings that I display on this forum openly very often).

 

I play Dungeons & Dragons every week, listen to music most people have never heard of, and spend too much money collecting things most people don't care about. I am about as far from mainstream as you can get, but I still have a GF.

 

Okay.

 

Another mistake. You should not be pretending anything. Show a woman the real you, and be proud of who you are. If you cannot be proud of the man that you are, then become the sort of man that would make you proud.

 

I am proud of myself, but I have an offensive personality that most women can't tolerate.

 

So I usually just fake it to get in there, then I display my true self slowly after they're already into me (at least, that's how I do it when I'm successful).

[clia]

Effort....like planning the date, talking to them on the phone, going to talk to them, actually talking to them. And that's only if the girl is interested in me at the beginning.

 

She's spending time and effort talking to you too, though, so that's pretty much a wash. As far as planning the date, I just can't see how it takes that long, especially in the early days. You are either picking a restaurant, bar park, coffee shop, museum, beach, ice cream parlor, or wherever you are going to take her. If you are new to your city, okay, you might have to do some research, but otherwise, you should pretty much know your options. I can see that having a creative date might take a little more time, but I doubt we are talking hours and hours of planning.

 

If she's not, then I have to put effort into turning her opinion around. I have to be very social to make a good impression. I have to make it look like I'm very positive about everything and have a ton of mainstream interests.

 

I hate dancing. Hate hiking. Hate doing active things. I have to pretend that I like this crap because most women like it.

 

Do you really think women put in no effort to try to make a man like them? Of course we do. It's the same thing. But you shouldn't pretend to like things that you don't like because she is going to find out eventually and see that you lied and that doesn't get you anywhere. Why don't you just seek out a woman who is not active, like you are? Wouldn't that be easier? I know they are out there.

[calvincline47]

She's spending time and effort talking to you too, though, so that's pretty much a wash. As far as planning the date, I just can't see how it takes that long, especially in the early days. You are either picking a restaurant, bar park, coffee shop, museum, beach, ice cream parlor, or wherever you are going to take her. If you are new to your city, okay, you might have to do some research, but otherwise, you should pretty much know your options. I can see that having a creative date might take a little more time, but I doubt we are talking hours and hours of planning.

 

 

 

Do you really think women put in no effort to try to make a man like them? Of course we do. It's the same thing. But you shouldn't pretend to like things that you don't like because she is going to find out eventually and see that you lied and that doesn't get you anywhere. Why don't you just seek out a woman who is not active, like you are? Wouldn't that be easier? I know they are out there.

 

I'm male so I don't have unlimited options. The only women that are available to me are the ones I meet IRL (and I don't meet many because I'm geographically limited). I don't like bars/clubs and I don't meet the minimum height requirement to get women in my league on OLD.

 

So I only have the few that I meet IRL to choose from. I was not particularly crazy about any of them so I resent any amount of work that I have to put in.

 

Luckily, I'll be out of here soon enough.

[Hawaii51]

Effort.....Boring

 

Correction, Calvin. You're boring, and it's being projected on the woman you take out on those dates you plan- ever so arduously.

 

So. Much. Efffffort!

[clia]

I'm male so I don't have unlimited options. The only women that are available to me are the ones I meet IRL (and I don't meet many because I'm geographically limited). I don't like bars/clubs and I don't meet the minimum height requirement to get women in my league on OLD.

 

So I only have the few that I meet IRL to choose from. I was not particularly crazy about any of them so I resent any amount of work that I have to put in.

 

Luckily, I'll be out of here soon enough.

 

Umm...well obviously it's work and miserable if you aren't into them. Why even bother?

 

Why don't you try meeting women IRL who have interests similar to yours? What are your interests? People here might have some ideas.

[calvincline47]

Correction, Calvin. You're boring, and it's being projected on the woman you take out on those dates you plan- ever so arduously.

 

How could you possibly know if I'm boring or not?

[calvincline47]

Umm...well obviously it's work and miserable if you aren't into them. Why even bother?

 

Why don't you try meeting women IRL who have interests similar to yours? What are your interests? People here might have some ideas.

 

I do meet women IRL (and they seem at least somewhat receptive to me), but I am unable to date them due to the possibility of being arrested.

 

The few that I am able to date, I don't really like (as potential girlfriends or even friends, really).