Why does it seem like there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers?

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I've noticed this from quite a bit of posts on this forum, I barely joined today but have been browsing this site for a while being unregistered, but I see a lot of threads, posts of guys well into their 20's and some even their 30's who have never had a girlfriend and are still a virgin, and even on forums on other sites as well too, the age I've noticed in which it seems to start becoming the crisis-point for guys that are inexperienced, based on the way the tone of their writing is on forums, is the age of 25, and it seems there are a lot more guys who are virgins, never had a girlfriend that are 25+ years of age than there are girls who are virgins, never had a boyfriend that are 25+ years of age.

 

 

Do you think it is true there are more male FA's(stands for forever alone), late bloomers than female FA's, late bloomers, etc.? or are guys, men just more vocal about it, verbally express it more than girls do? If it is accurate that there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers, i'm guessing it is for 2 reasons, men are still expected to be the initiators(which means shyness, social-awkwardness is going to hurt a guys chances more than a girls chances of getting a date, a relationship) and men typically go after younger women, the man is typically older than the woman in a relationship, the age factor I was using to take into account whenever people say for every girl that has a boyfriend, a guy has a girlfriend.

 

 

Also, do you think this is becoming an epidemic in this generation, as in more and more guys are entering their 20's(since statistics say the average age of virginity loss is 17, but i'm sure many people lie about it) and some even their 30's as still a virgin?

 

 

If it is an epidemic, what do you think is causing many guys in this generation to become a late bloomer in dating, relationships, and sex?

[bebe23]

 

If it is an epidemic, what do you think is causing many guys in this generation to become a late bloomer in dating, relationships, and sex?

 

I'd wager a guess: Because young men today weren't taught how to be men.

 

The destruction of the family unit, single mothers trying to be both Mom and Dad to their sons, lack of male role models. Add the Internet age where a boy barely even gets to learn to TALK to a girl in person.

 

I fear for my son (8 years old) in this society, what will come in the next 20 years. I'm so glad my husband does take the time he can spare to bond with him and teach him ethics, hard work, and how to be sweet to his Mommy.

 

ETA: That doesn't mean I want him to lose his V at 17- heavens no! I just want him to be the kind of guy a girl has respect and liking for. Husband material.

 

My fear is that he ends up 30 and whining here on LS.

Edited May 10, 2015 by bebe23

[123321]

It's been said that women are sex objects, and men are success objects. Peak sexy tends to precede peak success.

[LookAtThisPOst]

There was some article I was reading...forgot where it is now about how the churches were putting on school dances, but the Jr. High aged boys/girls weren't really signing up for them or something and the parents were rather forcing their kids to attend or ask women out to these dances...it was like pulling teeth to do so.

 

There wasn't much focus on proper on events that open up opportunities for interaction between genders when children get around puberty age and that's all gone to the wayside.

[kolleamm]

It's probably not accurate to say there are more male late bloomers. They were probably always at the same percentage or close to it, it's just that the internet has made us more aware of them.

[preraph]

These may be cooked up stats, but it's all over the internet that studies now show men maturing 11 years later than women. When I was young, they thought it was probably more like a couple of years (and yet some people's parents tried to make girls date boys their own age - ewww). These stats

say 43 for men and 32 for women when they're really mature. Like I said, it may be bad stats since the Nickolodean network did the "research" to promote a new show. But as someone who is in her sixties, I do see people staying immature longer in general and trying to hang onto their childhood. Maturity should mostly have to do with brain development, but I have a feeling this is about parenting trends and the internet, like everything else!

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I'd wager a guess: Because young men today weren't taught how to be men.

 

The destruction of the family unit, single mothers trying to be both Mom and Dad to their sons, lack of male role models. Add the Internet age where a boy barely even gets to learn to TALK to a girl in person.

 

I fear for my son (8 years old) in this society, what will come in the next 20 years. I'm so glad my husband does take the time he can spare to bond with him and teach him ethics, hard work, and how to be sweet to his Mommy.

 

ETA: That doesn't mean I want him to lose his V at 17- heavens no! I just want him to be the kind of guy a girl has respect and liking for. Husband material.

 

My fear is that he ends up 30 and whining here on LS.

 

If there is something I've noticed for a while, and its annoying, its that life, society, culture, has rules, expectations that separate boys from men but not for what seperates girls from women, its like guys have to be raised, brought up a certain why by their family, they always say, "boys have to be taught how to be a Man", but they never say girls need to be taught how to be a woman, its like a woman is automatically accepted as a woman just for having a vagina.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Why does it seem like there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers?

 

 

 

That's easy -

 

 

Because you can win the state lottery almost any time.

 

 

The appearance lottery won before you were in diapers pays you with an annuity that runs-out after so long. (and FAR, far too many are left only with the lump sum in the end)

[JuneJulySeptember]

If there is something I've noticed for a while, and its annoying, its that life, society, culture, has rules, expectations that separate boys from men but not for what seperates girls from women, its like guys have to be raised, brought up a certain why by their family, they always say, "boys have to be taught how to be a Man", but they never say girls need to be taught how to be a woman, its like a woman is automatically accepted as a woman just for having a vagina.

 

As a general rule of thumb, as long as you're not hurting somebody else, and you don't hate yourself, you're good.

 

There's lots of talk about wanting men with chivalry but also men who have manners and are sweet to women. I was telling a story the other day of a guy who gave away his furniture to his female classmates, and those females proceeded to call him a doormat.

 

Just forget it. Just be good and kind to people and find things to enjoy. If that doesn't bring you women, forget em.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

It's probably not accurate to say there are more male late bloomers. They were probably always at the same percentage or close to it, it's just that the internet has made us more aware of them.

Well Susan Boyle was an example

[LookAtThisPOst]

If there is something I've noticed for a while, and its annoying, its that life, society, culture, has rules, expectations that separate boys from men but not for what seperates girls from women, its like guys have to be raised, brought up a certain why by their family, they always say, "boys have to be taught how to be a Man", but they never say girls need to be taught how to be a woman, its like a woman is automatically accepted as a woman just for having a vagina.

 

Right, apparently that pleasure the vagina gives to a man's ...well..you know, is over rated...and thus the only expectation of the woman is to merely show up.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I was telling a story the other day of a guy who gave away his furniture to his female classmates, and those females proceeded to call him a doormat.

 

Apparently, their parents didn't teach these females how to simply say "Thank you" but instead, "What a door mat!"

 

I come from an upbringing where the paddles were used on classmates, perhaps they should bring this corporal punishment back into the schools.

[SJC2008]

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure this out, men are the pursuers. You don't fish you don't catch. Sure, shyness will hamper a woman's dating success but the "damage" it does to their chances is not even close to what it does to a shy man.

Edited May 11, 2015 by SJC2008

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

This. No disrespect to women, especially today of all days, but I believe boys need a good male role model to learn how to be a man. My dad was hard as h*ll on me growing up, and that helped shape me into the man I am. I love my mother, and she taught me many things, but how to be a man was not among them.

 

 

 

Why do you care what society and culture think? It takes a lot more than the required physical parts to make a real woman in my eyes. You can set the bar as high as you like.

 

Basically, you even said so yourself, you said boys need a good male role model, your dad was hard as hell on you growing up, that proves my point exactly, guys, men, need to be raised, brought up the right way or a certain way, socially conditioned by their family, relatives, it generally never matters how a girl is raised brought up, her social behaviors generally never have an impact on how her dating life is gonna turn out, yes I know I shouldn't be discussing women because I'm a guy, but it gives me an ego, pride boost if I'm able to win an argument, debate.

[preraph]

This. No disrespect to women, especially today of all days, but I believe boys need a good male role model to learn how to be a man. My dad was hard as h*ll on me growing up, and that helped shape me into the man I am. I love my mother, and she taught me many things, but how to be a man was not among them.

 

Absolutely! Everyone needs a male and a female role model. And not just any old role model, but a good one. Bad ones do more harm than good. You can't learn to be a man if you don't at least have an example to follow.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Absolutely! Everyone needs a male and a female role model. And not just any old role model, but a good one. Bad ones do more harm than good. You can't learn to be a man if you don't at least have an example to follow.

 

I'm guessing its easier to raise sons than it is to raise daughters

[Weezy1973]

I'd wager a guess: Because young men today weren't taught how to be men.

 

This. No disrespect to women, especially today of all days, but I believe boys need a good male role model to learn how to be a man.

 

I don't think this is the problem at all. I think the problem today is that the definition of a man is in flux at the moment. Feminism has done a lot of wonderful things to the world, but one of the forgotten things was how to redefine a man's role in the post feminism era.

 

How would a parent teach a boy to be a man exactly? Specifically, how would a parent teaching a boy to be a man differ from teaching a girl to be a woman?

 

From what I can see, girls are taught to be whatever they want. To reach for the stars - nothing can hold them back anymore. And young women are taking advantage of this - it wasn't very long ago that they wouldn't have these opportunities and I think that has created a sense of urgency in many women. And now, a woman can have pretty much any life she wants - she can be a traditional stay at home mom; she can go out and have a career; she can be a starving artist; she can be an academic; she can travel the world. Or any combination of the above...and in all these cases - she would be considered a success.

 

What makes for a successful man post feminism? Can a man now be a stay at home dad and still be admired as a man? It doesn't appear to be the case - less than 1% of men are stay at home dads.

 

Girls can have traditionally masculine interests, clothing and attributes and are endearingly called "tomboys" (some women continue to call themselves tomboys). They are thought of as strong. Can boys play with dolls, wear dresses, and be quick to cry without being ridiculed or feeling shame? Apparently not, according to most research.

 

Where the world has opened up to women, no such advantage has happened for men. And now young men don't know their place or value. So a lot of men don't do much of anything. They remain in perpetual boyhood. They have no direction.

 

If you read through enough threads on LS, you see that pattern over and over again. Men questioning their worth. If I'm short, does that make me less worthy as a man? If I don't make a lot of money, does that make me less worthy as a man? If I still live at my parents' as an adult, does that make me less worthy as a man?

 

In a world where men are no longer the primary income earners and violence is at an all time low, being provider and protector is no longer needed. What now does it mean to be a man? As a parent, how would you teach your boy to be a man where the role is undefined?

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I don't think this is the problem at all. I think the problem today is that the definition of a man is in flux at the moment. Feminism has done a lot of wonderful things to the world, but one of the forgotten things was how to redefine a man's role in the post feminism era.

 

How would a parent teach a boy to be a man exactly? Specifically, how would a parent teaching a boy to be a man differ from teaching a girl to be a woman?

 

From what I can see, girls are taught to be whatever they want. To reach for the stars - nothing can hold them back anymore. And young women are taking advantage of this - it wasn't very long ago that they wouldn't have these opportunities and I think that has created a sense of urgency in many women. And now, a woman can have pretty much any life she wants - she can be a traditional stay at home mom; she can go out and have a career; she can be a starving artist; she can be an academic; she can travel the world. Or any combination of the above...and in all these cases - she would be considered a success.

 

What makes for a successful man post feminism? Can a man now be a stay at home dad and still be admired as a man? It doesn't appear to be the case - less than 1% of men are stay at home dads.

 

Girls can have traditionally masculine interests, clothing and attributes and are endearingly called "tomboys" (some women continue to call themselves tomboys). They are thought of as strong. Can boys play with dolls, wear dresses, and be quick to cry without being ridiculed or feeling shame? Apparently not, according to most research.

 

Where the world has opened up to women, no such advantage has happened for men. And now young men don't know their place or value. So a lot of men don't do much of anything. They remain in perpetual boyhood. They have no direction.

 

If you read through enough threads on LS, you see that pattern over and over again. Men questioning their worth. If I'm short, does that make me less worthy as a man? If I don't make a lot of money, does that make me less worthy as a man? If I still live at my parents' as an adult, does that make me less worthy as a man?

 

In a world where men are no longer the primary income earners and violence is at an all time low, being provider and protector is no longer needed. What now does it mean to be a man? As a parent, how would you teach your boy to be a man where the role is undefined?

Why do you think feminism, despite how modern society has become, the onus is still placed on men to be the primary initiators?

[123321]

Why do you think feminism, despite how modern society has become, the onus is still placed on men to be the primary initiators?

 

Because ivory tower theories can't change biological realities.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Because ivory tower theories can't change biological realities.

 

Why do you think its natural for the man to be the initiator?

[EngnimaticResponse]

Why do you think its natural for the man to be the initiator?

 

The hunt is ingraned. Only part of it is learned. And the women arn't being taught. "You can do anything a man can do. Oh, except that."

 

I've seen a few pee standing up, so that one doesn't count anymore.

[EngnimaticResponse]

Why do you think feminism, despite how modern society has become, the onus is still placed on men to be the primary initiators?

 

Only the alpha women, those who have found "empowerment", have what it takes to be the agressor. Many don't want to risk the rejection. They want equality, but only where it is beneficial. Gotta take the bad with the good ladies.

 

 

Also, do you think this is becoming an epidemic in this generation, as in more and more guys are entering their 20's(since statistics say the average age of virginity loss is 17, but i'm sure many people lie about it) and some even their 30's as still a virgin?

 

 

If it is an epidemic, what do you think is causing many guys in this generation to become a late bloomer in dating, relationships, and sex?

Women in teen's - 20's tend to be just as visual as men. They go for the hot guy who makes their panties wet. So, as far as sex and the V-card, it's not 1-to-1, one charismatic gent can get half a dozen (or more) ladies. Edited May 12, 2015 by EngnimaticResponse

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I know I have sounded bitter and resentful in many of my posts, i would say the deep root of my bitterness, resentment, frustration, is for not taking the gender role of being the initiator, pursuer, more seriously earlier, I feel I'm very behind, I wish knowing how to approach and talking to women, flirting with them, attracting them, leading them, was natural, instinctive, innate common sense for me in my late teens and early 20's

[dgf]

It's not your imagination and it's getting worse.

[dgf]

I'd wager a guess: Because young men today weren't taught how to be men.

 

The destruction of the family unit, single mothers trying to be both Mom and Dad to their sons, lack of male role models. Add the Internet age where a boy barely even gets to learn to TALK to a girl in person.

 

I fear for my son (8 years old) in this society, what will come in the next 20 years. I'm so glad my husband does take the time he can spare to bond with him and teach him ethics, hard work, and how to be sweet to his Mommy.

 

ETA: That doesn't mean I want him to lose his V at 17- heavens no! I just want him to be the kind of guy a girl has respect and liking for. Husband material.

 

My fear is that he ends up 30 and whining here on LS.

 

Yeah right.

 

It's girls by the truckload are mesmerized by hot great looking guys with swagger and these girls will hold out forever just to be in rotation with a dozen other girls with one guy. Then some of these girls will settle for an average guy and some will hold out forever. When one percent of guys are sleeping with a quarter of the ladies, the guys on the bottom get nothing.

 

And the guys on the bottom aren't always lowlifes. A lot of good careers, homes, cars, are responsible, but aren't sexy enough and obviously aren't good in bed because they are still virgins.