Asking out your best friend. Share your experience!

[LarryW125]

I asked out one of my really close friends. I'd go as far to say that she is my best friend right now. We've known each other for our first year at community college and over time our friendship just grew into something more for me. I asked our out a couple of days ago with a very cute sign saying "Will you go out with me?" with pictures of our inside jokes through our friendship. She was definitely emotional about it. She didn't give me a yes or a no, she sort of just stuttered and turned her back to me and teared up a little. She's currently in Iran for the next 3 weeks and I need help. Should I talk to her about this 3 weeks from now? I have no clue.

[preraph]

I think that's a no. I think she was shocked. If she had romantic interest, I think she'd have bent over backwards to make sure you knew it before she left for Iran.

[LarryW125]

Aw, man. What should I do?

[La.Primavera]

It was a very sweet thing to do but it sounds like it caught her completely off guard, she couldn't handle it.

 

If you value your friendship don't bring it up again unless she does.

[PaperCrane]

My reason for joining came from asking my friend out and being succinctly rejected; although given all the signs otherwise.

 

We spent some time apart even though we live together and she found herself with someone. Strangely we've gotten closer on all fronts during this.

 

As I say in many threads like this; this is a very unique experience for each person who finds themselves there. For you it changes the foundation you two started upon.

 

The only thing you can do is to keep on going. When she gets back you'll probably have your concrete answer and you're going to need to prepare for the "I don't see you that way" or the "I prefer our friendship" or even a "Goodbye." You'll also have to be willing to walk away if necessary.

 

Then there is the situation where you stay friends as you still harbor feelings. You'll have three options there;

1) Kill the feelings

2) Hide them

3) Continue pursuit

 

The first is hard while staying close, the second is harder still and usually coincides with the first while the last may or may not be plausible.

 

I chose option 3 because staying just friends isn't an option and that means I'd have to leave. I'd rather leave her life by trying my best rather than living with a lifetime of regret. It's up to you though on how you want to take your poison; because it is going to hurt like hell on whatever path you take.

[jen1447]

Not a best friend, but I asked out a pretty good friend once. She was a fairly recent friend so I'm sure it wasn't as awkward as a longterm friend status shift could be. It worked out well tho I'm happy to say.

 

What does "pictures of our inside jokes through our friendship" mean?

[LarryW125]

I like to draw cats all over the place and she never figured out who kept drawing them. One day, she found out it was me and she flipped out because it drove her crazy. So I just drew kittens on the little poster!

[jen1447]

Hmm ....so maybe she sort of likes you and was sort of flattered but also sort of irritated that you punctuated a moment like that with sth you know irritates her?

[LarryW125]

oh no, it doesn't irritate her! haha, its just something we tease each other about.