Antidepressants?

[Ironpyrites]

My GP did a test on me some weeks back then offered me antidepressants at the time I refused but I'm wondering if they would help? Has anyone been down this route with AD and did it help you after D-day?

[velvette]

My GP did a test on me some weeks back then offered me antidepressants at the time I refused but I'm wondering if they would help? Has anyone been down this route with AD and did it help you after D-day?

 

Do you mind if I ask what kind of test? Physical or just questions about how you were feeling?

 

 

I didn't take AD after a D-day, but I have taken them many years ago.

 

 

They work for some people. The down side is most of them take a few weeks to work and finding the one that works for you can take a while. As well as many of them have unpleasant side effects that some people cant ride out while waiting for them to work.

 

 

Quite often anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Unless, I was feeling totally unable to function or heading towards that, I would probably ask the doctor about anti-anxiety meds to take the edge off first. In my experience, they are less problematic and can frequently be enough to help you help yourself improve your mood.

[Ironpyrites]

Do you mind if I ask what kind of test? Physical or just questions about how you were feeling?

 

 

I didn't take AD after a D-day, but I have taken them many years ago.

 

 

They work for some people. The down side is most of them take a few weeks to work and finding the one that works for you can take a while. As well as many of them have unpleasant side effects that some people cant ride out while waiting for them to work.

 

 

Quite often anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Unless, I was feeling totally unable to function or heading towards that, I would probably ask the doctor about anti-anxiety meds to take the edge off first. In my experience, they are less problematic and can frequently be enough to help you help yourself improve your mood.

 

Thanks for that velvette, about 3 weeks after D-day I had to get signed off work by my doctor, as I was having some pretty dark thoughts, I knew they were irrational but they were persistent. I did a questionnaire with the doctor and when she offered them to me I was pretty shocked. I'm not sure I want to go down the AD path, I fear I might become dependant. I have to admit some days I sit doing nothing without realising, I dont eat or move even , I dont even seem to think about anything, its been 5 months now since D-day though.

[velvette]

Thanks for that velvette, about 3 weeks after D-day I had to get signed off work by my doctor, as I was having some pretty dark thoughts, I knew they were irrational but they were persistent. I did a questionnaire with the doctor and when she offered them to me I was pretty shocked. I'm not sure I want to go down the AD path, I fear I might become dependant. I have to admit some days I sit doing nothing without realising, I dont eat or move even , I dont even seem to think about anything, its been 5 months now since D-day though.

 

 

Irrational thinking is one of the hallmarks of depression. Also, inability or lack of desire to take care of yourself....like eating, etc.

 

 

There are online assessments if you google that will be similar to the questionnaire your doctor gave you. You can take the tests and get an assessment of whether or not you are experiencing normal ups/downs, mildly depressed, moderately depressed, clinically/severly depressed.

 

 

I am not a fan of GP's handing out AD's for all the reasons I mentioned previously. Getting dependent/addicted is not usually an issue with these drugs, but you do need to be seeing someone probably weekly who is expert on them and can assess how they are working/not working.

 

 

Given what you're saying about your thoughts and difficulty carrying out daily tasks, you need to do something because once a depression becomes severe enough it can take on a life of its on and be very difficult to recover from.

 

 

Have you seen a therapist. That seems like the best choice and someone who can both prescribe drugs while talking through your feelings with you will likely give you the most relief. You may find that talking alone will be enough.

[Ironpyrites]

Irrational thinking is one of the hallmarks of depression. Also, inability or lack of desire to take care of yourself....like eating, etc.

 

 

There are online assessments if you google that will be similar to the questionnaire your doctor gave you. You can take the tests and get an assessment of whether or not you are experiencing normal ups/downs, mildly depressed, moderately depressed, clinically/severly depressed.

 

 

I am not a fan of GP's handing out AD's for all the reasons I mentioned previously. Getting dependent/addicted is not usually an issue with these drugs, but you do need to be seeing someone probably weekly who is expert on them and can assess how they are working/not working.

 

 

Given what you're saying about your thoughts and difficulty carrying out daily tasks, you need to do something because once a depression becomes severe enough it can take on a life of its on and be very difficult to recover from.

 

 

Have you seen a therapist. That seems like the best choice and someone who can both prescribe drugs while talking through your feelings with you will likely give you the most relief. You may find that talking alone will be enough.

 

Thanks, we are seeing a therapist and sometimes it helps. Maybe I should wait another month or so before making that decision. Thing is I struggle to make decisions at the moment. I'm on auto pilot at work but feel like I'm just making it through the days until I get home and have nothing left.

[Hope Shimmers]

I have to admit some days I sit doing nothing without realising, I dont eat or move even , I dont even seem to think about anything, its been 5 months now since D-day though.

 

Given this, and given that your GP felt you might benefit, I would suggest giving antidepressants a try. They made huge difference for me.

 

Most antidepressants will also treat anxiety disorder. And you cannot become 'addicted' to them. However, antianxiety agents like benzodiazepines (think Valium) are controlled substances and are addicting, so I would not go that route.

 

In my experience most people see an effect from antidepressants after 2-3 weeks with full effect in 4-6. Good luck!

[VeryBrokenMan]

I've never taken AD's but my sister and brother in law have after losing a child and it made a huge difference in their outlook. They never talked about how long they were on these pills but the change was remarkable and long lasting so I think it might have been months or years.

[nightmare01]

I was on them for years, but eventually got myself off them. AD's can be like having a band aide on a wound - it helps it heal initially, but you need to take it off after awhile.

 

For me - AD's kinda delayed or evened out my feelings. Initially the pain and depression was just too much and the AD's pushed that wave back a bit until I was stronger to face it and deal with it. For me, they allowed me to gain some footing and some strength, but I had to get off them to actually do the hard work at recovering myself.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I'm not sure why people are so reluctant about taking AD.

 

I don't have a world of experience apart from my own and that of people I know intimately who've taken AD and all I can say is that it can definitely help lift the fog.

 

Having said that, not all AD are created equally and sometimes it takes a few trials until you find the right brand and the right dosage.

 

Given what you've posted on here already I would say that it's worth a shot. I mean, what do you have to lose?

 

Do your research and talk more with your GP. Sometimes AD make all the difference between just existing and truly living.

 

Good luck.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I was on them for years, but eventually got myself off them. AD's can be like having a band aide on a wound - it helps it heal initially, but you need to take it off after awhile.

 

For me - AD's kinda delayed or evened out my feelings. Initially the pain and depression was just too much and the AD's pushed that wave back a bit until I was stronger to face it and deal with it. For me, they allowed me to gain some footing and some strength, but I had to get off them to actually do the hard work at recovering myself.

 

Absolutely!

 

As I just said in my posting, AD can lift the fog but at the end of the day YOU still have to do the work to get better, healthier and happier.

 

Unfortunately there aren't any pills out there that can remedy this all on their own...at least not legal ones

[velvette]

Thanks, we are seeing a therapist and sometimes it helps. Maybe I should wait another month or so before making that decision. Thing is I struggle to make decisions at the moment. I'm on auto pilot at work but feel like I'm just making it through the days until I get home and have nothing left.

 

If I understand you correctly that means you are seeing a therapist together.

 

 

Sometimes, each individual persons needs do not get enough attention in that setting either because the marital issues seem more pressing or its the focus of the therapist at the expense of the individuals or simply not enough time per session.

 

 

You still might benefit from you own therapist. Because you mentioned difficulty with your thoughts, I would recommend checking out Cognitive Therapy. It is specifically based on the premise that our feelings follow our thoughts and that talking back to those thoughts and testing the underlying assumptions can improve our mood.

 

 

There's also a newer therapy EMDR that some say helps with obsessive or persistent unwanted thoughts.

[spanz1]

are you hitting the gym every day, getting at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise? that is the number 1 fix for depression. Pills come AFTER trying that.

 

 

and for gawd's sake, research the antidepressant type to make sure there are not bad sexual side effects!

[GoldieLox]

If you're not in individual therapy, you may want to try that first before going the AD route. AD's are not bad things, but IMHO they should be used after trying therapy, because more things can be worked out with a good therapist than people initially think. The thing with AD's is sometimes it can take a bit to find the right one, then they have some yucky side effects, and the biggest thing is I find that they seem to dull a person's affect. Sure, it's wonderful to wake up feeling like you don't want to jump off a bridge, but on the flip side, you're now walking around like a zombie.

 

Again, I'm not totally anti-AD here. I just think the therapy route should be exhausted before automatically jumping to pills.

[Ironpyrites]

are you hitting the gym every day, getting at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise? that is the number 1 fix for depression. Pills come AFTER trying that.

 

 

and for gawd's sake, research the antidepressant type to make sure there are not bad sexual side effects!

 

Used to train 5 days a week, Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Lau Gar Kung Fu, Muay Thai, HIIT, free weights, 5 mile run etc. But since this I'm struggling to get out of the hole. But yeah your right I suppose I should try get back into training of some type. AD should really be the last port of call, just had some really bad days lately.

[Spark1111]

Used to train 5 days a week, Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Lau Gar Kung Fu, Muay Thai, HIIT, free weights, 5 mile run etc. But since this I'm struggling to get out of the hole. But yeah your right I suppose I should try get back into training of some type. AD should really be the last port of call, just had some really bad days lately.

 

 

Oh, just get some if if helps.

 

Post affair mimics PTSD, although Psychs and Counsellors can be slow on the uptake. It's new in the field of infidelity.....

 

However, newly back from Iran or Afghanistan you'd get some.

 

I HIT the gym like it was my job...felt better..BUT if I didn't, I would have been swallowing ADs like vitamins.

 

Get through the worst of the pain and, IF, still crazy, DO whatever it takes to.get to whole and sane.

[velvette]

Used to train 5 days a week, Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Lau Gar Kung Fu, Muay Thai, HIIT, free weights, 5 mile run etc. But since this I'm struggling to get out of the hole. But yeah your right I suppose I should try get back into training of some type. AD should really be the last port of call, just had some really bad days lately.

 

 

 

Going back to your previous activities would do you a world of good.

 

 

But, I also understand how difficult it can be to do that when you are feeling depressed.

 

 

Its not all or nothing which is btw characteristic thinking when you are depressed. Any exercise will help. Run in place at home or something similar. Take a brisk walk or run around your neighborhood or at lunch time. Baby steps. String enough of them together and you will start to feel better.

 

 

Enlist your partner in helping/holding you accountable for exercising. Do something together. It will make you feel better and improve your connection/relationship.

[spanz1]

don't take my word for it. listen to Harvard medical:

Exercise and Depression - Harvard Health

[Ironpyrites]

Thank you for all your advice I do appreciate it, I'm having a few better days this week. I was suffering with depression before my wife's affair (which my wife took as me rejecting her) So it has sort of stuck the boot in when I'm down. Exercise has been part of my life pretty much all my life but I get to that "what's the point of anything?" stage which kills my motivation.