branded as a cheater

[tastypumpkins]

My boyfriend thinks the absolute worst of me when I didn't do anything he accuses me of. I do admit that I did some untrustworthy things...like I told him that one night I spent a few hours looking for a place to live for us when instead I did some work on the radio show I work for, he said I was focusing on other men (meaning the guys from the show) instead of him. I've also fibbed about when I have had casual conversations with platonic male friends, which he found out about. One in particular he told me not to speak to, and I didn't except when he texted me "happy birthday" I said "thanks." Bf later broke into my phone and saw that, broke up with me again. I have never cheated on him, or anybody for that matter, and I have tried so hard to mend things for my dishonesties...but he seems like he doesnt have the desire to want any kind of positive trust gaining back. Whenever we get in a spat over something random he will bring up how I "carried on with other men" and how I'm a liar and he doesnt trust me at all. He never has said he forgives me. In situations where he doesn't treat me the best, he will justify them because I was a cheater. I haven't cheated on him, or anybody for that matter. I can't and the thought of me being with another guy disgusts me...and he won't believe that when I say it, and when he says talk is cheap, I ask what I can DO to help, but he says "don't carry on with other men" and I haven't, but I'm still accused of it.

 

When he finds something "off" that seems mundane...I am interrogated for hours. One time I had a bottle of perfume moved from one end of the car to the other and he told me he "knew I had cheated" because of that. This has all gotten so ridiculous that I have to make sure things are in place as to "not look suspicious" or making sure I have a set record of where I have gone during the day so he believes me. The other day I had it, as he accused me of cheating because I got lost going to meet him somewhere, and that I was off doing something else. I have always offered to give him access to my texts, my email, social media accounts, anything, but he says he's not interested in it. Today I told him I had deleted all my texts because I was pretty certain that he would go into my phone, look at my texts and twist something that meant nothing into "proof" that I had gone behind his back. Wasnt the smartest idea but now he doesnt trust me even more. But how can I deal with someone who refuses to forgive me?

[123321]

I'd drop him; he's invading your privacy and you're lying to him. Even if you deserve each other I don't see happiness for anyone.

[compulsivedancer]

If you feel the need to lie to a guy about little tiny things, it's a huge red flag on the relationship. The fact that he feels the need to berate you over this proves the point. I doubt it's going to get any better, as he's not going to trust you, and you will never be able to tell him the truth because he would never accept it.

[GemmaUK]

The Jealousy Game: When Jealous Relationships Become Dangerous - Kindle edition by Mandy White. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

 

Download a free kindle app if you don't have a kindle and read the above book. It's cheap, only a couple of hours to read and it will let you know how this relationship could progress if you stick around.

 

Your guy is in there, as was my last ex. They sound quite similar in fact.

Read it, get your wits about you and get away from this guy.

He is toxic.

[No Limit]

Soundslike a control freak. Get out of this relationship, what's the point since he obviously doesn't trust you anyway?

Also keep in mind that there are many cheaters who start accusing their partners after having cheated themselves.

[CaliGypsy]

Why would you want to live that way?