Caffeine_Addict Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 My parents went through a divorce six months ago, but there is still drama. My sister and I are both over the age of eighteen, but our brother is not. We live in Washington state. Our brother wants to go to our grandma's for three weeks over the summer, but our dad will not let him because it would be during "his time" with him as well. I guess what I'm wondering is how I can alleviate the situation. I have been told by numerous friends that since he is over the age of thirteen he has the final say on what he does and where he spends his time. Is this true? If so, where can I find legal paperwork stating this? Thanks for your help! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Law is not a self help process. To correctly interpret law you usually need a lawyer. That said, your state's statues & case law are most likely on line. The law rarely spells out the kids' rights other than child support. You will have to research the case law the written decisions by the judges. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 If you contact legal aid in your area, they may be able to tell you what rights, if any, your brother has in the situation. I don't know whether they help with matters like this, but a phone call can't hurt anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Honestly, you are all too young to realize how difficult and stressful divorce is and how hard it is for both parents to follow the court's rules even when they are not getting resistance from the kids. I would beg you and your siblings to stop being uncooperative and to simply go along with the schedule your parents are legally bound by. Each time you try to get your way about this petty stuff, you are causing both your parents unnecessary anguish. They've been through enough. Stop making their lives harder at an already very difficult time. Your grandparents need to keep their noses out of it too. If they are encouraging this, they are only creating problems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Unless its written in the decree, the minor doesn't get such a choice. The guardian and adults make those decisions. They pay the support, they get privileges in how to best manage the allotted time rendered. an emancipated teens are exceptions, yet based on the scenario , the decree trumps the teens desires. Luckily you reside in a grandparent friendly state where they have rights to petition the courts for visitation time. Which should have been addressed during the parents dissolution. rule:26.09.240. Are your parents playing "keep away"? its sadly manipulative , yet maybe you can suggest that the grandparents consult an attorney if they sincerely wish to have him visit for the summer..., Link to post Share on other sites
Col1 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I am a child of divorce myself. Except my parents divorced decades ago. Even though they live in different cities and have not spoken to each other since the divorce... unfortunately the indirect drama continues to this day. There is only one real Thanksgiving dinner, one Christmas morning, one fourth of July firework celebration, one birthday dinner, etc. Except as an adult there is no court order telling me what I have to do. I went far away to escape those situations. Then I just stayed away. For good. That's awesome you are supporting the little sibling in this difficult situation! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 My parents went through a divorce six months ago, but there is still drama. My sister and I are both over the age of eighteen, but our brother is not. We live in Washington state. Our brother wants to go to our grandma's for three weeks over the summer, but our dad will not let him because it would be during "his time" with him as well. I guess what I'm wondering is how I can alleviate the situation. I have been told by numerous friends that since he is over the age of thirteen he has the final say on what he does and where he spends his time. Is this true? If so, where can I find legal paperwork stating this? Thanks for your help! I could be wrong but I believe the over 13 thing is in regards to custody. In other words if the child is over the age of 13 the courts will take the child's wishes into consideration when deciding on custody and visitation schedules. Once that is done, and it sounds like this has all been decided and taken care off in your brother's case, then the child has no more rights then any other 13yr old and 13yr olds do not get final say in what they do or where they go. They are minors and they are expected to abide by what their parents say. Do not use this to cause more strife in your family or to distance your brother from his father. Try to find out if your dad will compromise. Perhaps he would agree to a 1 week or 10 day visit with the grandparents. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) Honestly, you are all too young to realize how difficult and stressful divorce is and how hard it is for both parents to follow the court's rules even when they are not getting resistance from the kids. I would beg you and your siblings to stop being uncooperative and to simply go along with the schedule your parents are legally bound by. Each time you try to get your way about this petty stuff, you are causing both your parents unnecessary anguish. They've been through enough. Stop making their lives harder at an already very difficult time. Your grandparents need to keep their noses out of it too. If they are encouraging this, they are only creating problems. Imo, The children are usually in the middle and the victims in a divorce. OP, Your brother should tell your father one more time, that he wishes to spend the three weeks at grandmother's. I'm not sure if the father will honor his son's wishes, but at least he will know. Too often, children are treated like property or used as control or even for vengeance in these situations. To love a child is to give of them, and not put them in the middle. Edited May 16, 2015 by UpwardForward Link to post Share on other sites
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