privategal Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Not sure if sometimes you're referring to the ex GF, or the ex wife..... But as for the ex GF, I don't know her whereabouts, have no clue what she's doing, who she's with or what her plans are. We don't talk, email or write and we certainly don't see each other. The only thing I know is when she will be where I "might" be and I simply avoid that. As for being friends with an ex. I strongly believe it's not only possible, but preferable, however, there's an argument to get over the emotional ties, first. I have numerous friends that have great relationships with their ex that they are good friends with. I'm friends with every GF and wife I've had (but only one wife). The current GF, it's too soon to tell just yet. I'll bet someday we will be friend, perhaps not really good friends, but will talk about the past without emotion and anger. That will certainly take time. I'm sure we will both survive. The path I've started down is working. I would like things to go faster, but there is progress and I know what I want, and I have always known what I want, and headed in that direction. Of course, things do change, and we make changes accordingly.... people, jobs, relationships, opportunity, etc. I'm not sure where you say I'm in an unhealthy limbo, or contradicting. And there is no game playing... that's clearly over. And see no action that say we are not adults. If you would explain, I'd appreciate it. I apologize, to be clear I thought I had read you were communicating...ie. Letting the other know you would or wouldn't be frequenting a place and also that constitutes being in contact. If I didn't want a guy to forget me, Id keep going to that place just so I could text I was going. Not being able to provide or recieve closure is not adult like. Texting the other you are going somewhere so they can avoid you seems a contact game. Plain and simple agree to talk and agree to check emotion at the door in order to get that closure so you can stop waiting until it can happen hence keeping u stuck. Kudos for all your progress thus far! Link to post Share on other sites
Author OldRover Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 I apologize, to be clear I thought I had read you were communicating...ie. Letting the other know you would or wouldn't be frequenting a place and also that constitutes being in contact. If I didn't want a guy to forget me, Id keep going to that place just so I could text I was going. Not being able to provide or recieve closure is not adult like. Texting the other you are going somewhere so they can avoid you seems a contact game. Plain and simple agree to talk and agree to check emotion at the door in order to get that closure so you can stop waiting until it can happen hence keeping u stuck. Kudos for all your progress thus far! Thx for the update.... and yes, we are still in contact, but only when she will be there acknowledged with a "K", nothing else. I can live with that and doesn't bother me since she stopped telling me what she was doing or her dates, which stopped pretty quick. There is no way we will talk, and I'm not going to try. She goes from love to hate in an instant (which I don't believe..... we are both grieving) but certainly cuts of all contact except to avoid me. She has already gotten through all the hate texts and nasty comments. I have a much harder time when I remember the good times, perhaps when I'm a bit down and something triggers it.... In a perfect world, I'd cut ALL communication and move to a different area. That's just not realistic. However, like some, I'm glad we don't share work together, or have a lot of really close mutual friends or family. Right now, I'm doing the best I can. Have great support, and it's only a matter of time.... going a bit slow, but a bit of progress every day. Today was a bit of a downer until I got with my friends later on, but the weekend was absolutely great with the ex wife, kid and her husband. They are all very supportive. The ex has been outstanding, putting all the major issues we had behind us and hopefully we are looking to rekindle things for a long time.... taking our time, but making very positive moves. We had never hated each other and have always cared, regardless. I'm really glad I can spend time with her again and she feels the same. Again, thx for the comments. And I wish things would go faster, but must be patient and positive. Link to post Share on other sites
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