Jump to content

Moving to live with boyfriend in his country after a year


Recommended Posts

So,I've been dating a guy for a year and a bit now. It started off not as a long distance relationship , as I was working as an Au Pair in his country. However when I moved to go to university in my country , it became a long distance relationship until now.

I got accepted for an Apprentiship in his country and will be moving to live with him in a month.

Im scared !

I love my family, especially my sister as I'm very close to her. I would only see them twice a year which makes me sad. I love my boyfriend very much and am willing to try and I know the country / language and area very well so that is not a problem . I just don't know how to cope with the nerves. Any ideas ? I hope it is the right decision. I know some people would say after a year is a little early. Would just like to know other peoples opinions. Thanks !

Link to post
Share on other sites

Going from an LDR to living together is a bad idea. It's too intense. Live near him but not with him.

 

Would you have accepted this apprenticeship but for him? If not, you are already going into this for not the best reasons.

 

Keep the lines of communication with your family open.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Foodjunkie79

You will only know when you experience the situation!!! If it aint for you......you have a choice!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't give you any ideas from experience because unfortunately I haven't been in your situation yet (and still have at least 2 more years to go...). But I want to wish you good luck, I hope you guys make it work. I have been told that living with a partner can be quite hard, but I'm sure that with communication and love you will be able to make it through! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
lemoncello
Going from an LDR to living together is a bad idea. It's too intense. Live near him but not with him.

 

Would you have accepted this apprenticeship but for him? If not, you are already going into this for not the best reasons.

 

Keep the lines of communication with your family open.

 

I agree with d0nnivain that jumping right into living with your LDR boyfriend is too much too soon. Too bad you're not going to university there because you could live in a dormitory room for a semester, while you date your boyfriend locally.

 

I think you need to have a Plan B if things don't work out with your boyfriend for you. Plan B could be: live in a dorm, find roommates, find your own place. I think you will feel more relaxed and less scared if you don't move in with your boyfriend so soon like this. Always better to ease into this LDR situations.

Link to post
Share on other sites
justwhoiam
I just don't know how to cope with the nerves. Any ideas ?
Let him hold you... and you should be fine.

 

I know some people would say after a year is a little early. Would just like to know other peoples opinions. Thanks !

You will acquire professional experience that will help your career, right? So that will be positive. Not having friends close by is not good, but I guess you'll make new friends soon. Regarding the relationship, no one can tell if it will develop into something serious or it will fizzle out. Make sure you're safe in his home. Should you feel something's off, move out immediately.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think it's a terrible idea, since you have an apprenticeship lined up that will benefit you in your career, and you like and know the country you are moving to. Worst come to worst you still have a job and have gained some invaluable experience.

 

I won't say that moving in together immediately is necessarily a bad idea either - true it doesn't work for some people, but some have done that and turned out fine. It really depends on the individual. You do need to have a backup plan for the worst case scenario though. If you two break up, will you be able to afford to rent a room to live in without him?

 

Family and friends are always the hardest 'things' to leave behind. I think it really comes down to liking the place you are in and feeling secure there - that helps combat homesickness the most. Your bf should try to introduce you to people so you can make new friends, too.

Edited by Elswyth
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...