confused why are we kissy and grappy if she broke up with me

[dsm7401]

heres my story

im 22 shes 20

 

2 months me and my lady broke up so here i go

weeks before we broke up she was bining cranky and pissy, i belive its cause she is takeing police academy sat and sun and works m-f, and its been like that for 8 months now. like i was saying iw as going to propose to her on valintines day thouse two weeks i was trying to make her happy so when that day came she would be even more.during our brake up we had our exchage gifts for valentines day, and i dident know weather to pop the question or not, her last night there she said if i still wanted to exchage gifts and i told her that i did'nt know.on the day of valentines day i decided pop the question any ways cause she been wanting me to propose to here for a long time know and i wanted here to be my wife, i did and she began to cry i told here that to keep it just in case she changes her mind and wants to come back so she did, so was so happy we kisses and everyting. 2 days later she said that she coudent but she still keeped the ring. days later she moved out to her sisters house and i stayed at home. about 1 week later she called and said if i wanted to go out on a date so i said yes. we went out we held hands we kissed she held my face and gave me affection and all that like if we went broken up. she said that she dident want to see me for a while that she needed TIME and SPACE. I tryed to give her time and space but i could help it i called her abd called her and made attempts to see her and ended off pissing her off,i also got pissed off cause i was trying to make all these attemps of sending her flowers to work sending her poems and other romantics stuff and i saw nothing out of her, so i told her to f#$% off! and all these othe bad things and she told me the same, she told me not to speek or call her! so i was like fine!2 weeks later she calles me and says when are WE going to the appartment to clean it up so we can turn it in? i said on monday would be fine.on that monday we meet and i told her that i was sorry and that i dident mean what i said she said that she was sorry too. so we talked and agine, affection came to play baby talk and even sex on tuesday the same thing but no sex, i told here what do u tink or feel when u do this she says that she knows that she is not suppose to do it but she wants to, im confused i told her but she said the same thing,also that she loves me and cares alot for me but she dosent fell it the same way i told her that she was confused and dident know what she wanted( her cusin told my sister her the same thing that my lady told her cusin that she was afraid and confued about coming back) but she dined it on thursday (the last day of our clean up at the appartmen)we also talked, and kids came up we were talking about having a family and the names of our children kissy kissy grappy grappy and agine sex came. i told herthat i was confued and what was she getting out of this i know were broken up so why do u do this? she said that she dident know and every other question that i told her was an i dont know se said that she needs TIME, but i think what time dose she need? you guys i need help will she come back? at times she is pissy and at times shes happy she tells me to move on. i in my half have been paying attention to my self like dressing better and being a total new preson, but im confused if were doing all those things and were giving each other affection having sex and other things and were broken up why dose she need TIME? the last words i told her were to come back to me and make the right dissision she said will se o.k so i gave her a kiss on her head and one in here mouth. im still confuesd why is this happenig i need help do i have another chance and what is in her head when she dose these thing i understand that we had argument and we broke up ahhhhhhhhhhh im con fused HELP! what do you recomed i do should i move on or shouldi keep hope like i tell her isshe confused ? pepole tell me thats thats not fair to me that she want to be single and have the 2 sides of the deck and even her cusin told me to move on i i think my lady hasent told her everthing yet please help!!!!!!!!!!!

[LucreziaBorgia]

She wants all the benefits she can get from you without actually having to go through the hassle of having to make a relationship out of it. "Time" and "Space" are excuses she gives you to avoid the 'hassle' parts.

 

Are you happy with this one sided arrangement? She is. It works 100% for her. She gets to have you when she wants you, and gets to push you away when she doesn't want you. Will she have any motivation to change? Why would she want to change what works so well for her, especially if you are condoning it by allowing her to do this to you?

 

Any changes that are going to be made will have to come from you. Give her that "time" and "space" she needs by initiating a firm, rock-solid, 'no contact'. Zero. No contact in any way, shape or form. Cut her off cold. It is hard to do this when you want her back, but as long as you allow yourself to be used this way - she will not see any reason to mess up her 'good thing' by going back to a relationship that she needed 'time' and 'space' from. She won't come back to you in the way that you want her to, as long as you keep providing her with the perfect opportunity to use you.

 

I expect after about a month or so of cutting her off ice cold, she'll likely have changed her story about needing 'time' and 'space', but hopefully by that time, after you've reflected on your pain and given yourself some time to work her out of your system, you won't be as inclined to give a damn.

[dsm7401]

but i know her very well for 4 years know and i know she wouldent do somthing like that do u rally think shes using me then why dose she say "if i dident lie to you when we were together why should i lie to you now" do u honestly think shes useing me?