Morro72 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) For a while now my wife and I have been seeing the same internist. He was mine first. She went through a succession of unsatisfactory docs, finally gave mine a try, and likes him for basically the same reasons I do - he's smart and he listens to her. So far things have worked out well for her. OK, as far as it goes. Now she needs some surgery. It's nothing major and the details aren't interesting, but what is somewhat entertaining is that she's having it done by a surgeon who did some work on me not too long ago. So now we're sharing two doctors. My question is whether this is the sort of thing that long-time couples find themselves doing or if it's pretty rare. Also, are there any potential pitfalls that we should watch out for? Neither of us is concerned about either physician sharing medical information with the other spouse. We both have fairly broad healthcare POAs allowing full access anyway, and full access to our online health records, so when I say this is not a concern I mean it is really not a concern. However, there may be issues that other people have encountered that we have just plain overlooked. Edited May 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 My parents had the same doctors. I have used them because they were good. I tried DH's doctor. I hated him because he was stupid. If you like the doctor use the doctor. Eventually you & your spouse will end up being each other's medical powers of attorney so there won't be many secrets anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Are you more concerned about impacts to your marriage or impacts to professional advice and treatment? Doctors have comprehensive rules regarding patient confidentiality that they adhere to and IMO if the doc is OK with treating both spouses, then it should be a non-issue. In today's climate of increasing assembly-line medicine and generally not establishing any sort of personal rapport with patients beyond their immediate medical needs, I can see traction for spouses seeing the same doctor to be a complete non-issue, as it's entirely possible that the doctor, if seeing them separately and not knowing them away from the practice, to not even be aware they're married. Most docs I know blaze through treatment rooms like a hurricane. For a brief period of a couple years, due to logistics, my exW, myself and my mom (whom I was caregiving for) saw the same GP. No issues at all, for me anyway. The price was right and the treatment professional. That's all I needed to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Morro72 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 Are you more concerned about impacts to your marriage or impacts to professional advice and treatment? We're mainly concerned about impacts to professional advice and treatment if either of us ever gets into a more complicated medical situation. We don't have any concerns about the quality or professional integrity of any of our physicians; we're just trying to see if there is anything farther down the road that we can't see from where we are now. The only adverse impact to our marriage that I could see is if, say, I recommended someone to her who then doesn't take good care of her, I would be wracked by guilt pretty much forever. That's balanced by the fact that, if I test-drive the doc and find him satisfactory, I've saved her a lot of hassle. I realize I'm just providing her with information, not making a decision for her, but if something goes wrong that's not much comfort to either of us. Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 My husband and I have the same primary care physician. We haven't had the opportunity to share a surgeon yet, but we would if we needed to since we've both had good experiences with a couple of surgeons. It's just me, but I see no problem with it. In fact, I would rather have a doc recommended to me by someone I trust absolutely (my spouse) than someone who wasn't recommended to me. That's just my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Would having the same physician be weird to you since eventually both of you will get a full physical exam from the same doctor? My wife and I don't share a doctor so it isn't my issue, but thought that might be something else to think about if it bothers someone. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 The only adverse impact to our marriage that I could see is if, say, I recommended someone to her who then doesn't take good care of her, I would be wracked by guilt pretty much forever. That's balanced by the fact that, if I test-drive the doc and find him satisfactory, I've saved her a lot of hassle. I realize I'm just providing her with information, not making a decision for her, but if something goes wrong that's not much comfort to either of us. Having two people evaluate the doctor, rather than one, is reducing risk. Risk still exists, yes. That's just part of life. We often use the same doctor if we both like the provider. It's never been a problem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Morro72 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Share Posted May 14, 2015 Would having the same physician be weird to you since eventually both of you will get a full physical exam from the same doctor? As long as he changes gloves I'm pretty sure we would be OK with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 As long as he changes gloves I'm pretty sure we would be OK with it. Or she. Actually it is very common. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Morro72 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Share Posted May 14, 2015 Or she. Actually it is very common. In this case they're both "he" but we both have (unshared) women docs and plenty of female family members who are physicians. In any case I'm getting the impression from this and other comments that this is not at all a rare thing. We're a little surprised since it's definitely rare among our friends. It's good to have places like LS which get you outside of your own narrow slice of the universe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Morro72 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 In case anyone's wondering, the surgery and post-op recovery are now done and everything went smoothly. As a plus, I got to look at naked pictures of my wife, taken from all the way in there via the surgical navel-cam. A whole 'nother way of admiring your spouse. Thanks to all for sharing your thoughts on the matter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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