would you rather live a single life forever or kill yourself?

[fitnessfan365]

Here's the thing though. You keep getting dates.

 

If you'd make some tweaks to your behavior and stop making basic mistakes, things would go much better for you. So why not just keep getting dates like you have been and learn from your mistakes?

[Jonp219]

Here's the thing though. You keep getting dates.

 

If you'd make some tweaks to your behavior and stop making basic mistakes, things would go much better for you. So why not just keep getting dates like you have been and learn from your mistakes?

 

I wonder, how does he get dates?

 

Not saying he shouldn't, but he must be doing SOMETHING right...

[mario_C]

I'll bet you a dollar the OP is barely out of school, or hell, still in school. The desperate horniness and utter confusion about how to talk to girls and entertain them on dates is obvious, and it's super common in here.

Trying sucks, whether you're trying to get a job or a date or fulfill your dream to be a rock star or salsa champion or whatever. Being told NO over and over and over is a part of life and it hurts, it really does - but that one YES makes it all better. Life is all about hearing YES. Hey, I figured out the meaning the life while I'm sitting here free associating with my fingers, high on Nyquil and wine...anyway....

If you want real advice, go to Talkspace. You MUST get some kind of therapy before you make a plan to hurt yourself. That is NOT OPTIONAL. Get help, right now. Use the browser in front of you, go to Talkspace and get help right now.

[darkbloom]

You can get a girlfriend and still be lonely.

 

The girlfriend isn't going to solve the issues that are there.

 

I'm sure my family and friends would be extremely devestated and impacted if I commited suicide instead of living my life single. I cannot even wrap my head around taking my own life and damaging the people that I care about over whether or not I'm in a relationship.

 

Being single is not a terminal illness so I think you should stop treating it like one.

[Gwwm123]

Its a no-contest decision. Living beats everything else.

 

I feel lonely as hell, I am heartbroken and will probably be alone forever.

 

Now, I wont take my life for so so many reasons. Family, friends, the joys I can give to my niece, the things I love to do, the places I can travel, my soccer teams, my guitar, eating things I like, masturbation, all the great music from the 60s and 70s, the sports I love to play, the new car I am taking home in two weeks.

 

Many many many things to live, suicide is never the options.

 

By the way, being in a relationship does not mean eternal bliss, although is it something absolutely lovely to have, you a walking a thin rope, heartbreak is around the corner which is an awful thing to experiment.

 

To sum all, I would prefer living alone forever than killing myself.

[amaysngrace]

+18002738255

^^^

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

 

And if that doesn't help then try getting a puppy or a dog. This place has good ones:

 

36 golden retrievers in need of new homes after Turkey rescue - FOX 29 News Philadelphia | WTXF-TV

[Cupid's Puppet]

I could do a single life forever if I had loving family, friends, and meaning to my life. I honestly hate living like this though and trying to find a reason to live each day. People who have love in their lives don't have to create reasons to live. I'm jealous...

[fireflywy]

I've been to plenty of professionals and although I always make a conscious effort to change it never works. Some people just need that special someone to survive, it's that simple. The alphas can survive on their own, the betas can not. I'm also contemplating suicide because I can't live on without her. I realized that I messed up more than I thought I did. I thought I would eventually feel like I can do just fine without her, but truth of the matter is I can't. Stephan listen these guys, they have a better head on their shoulders than I do. Be happy that you can ATLEAST get dates, I can't get ****. However it doesn't matter because no one will ever be able to replace her.

 

Jon how old are you? Are you in your twenties?

 

I have been on here as long as you have and you have made some significant strides and maybe I haven't read all of your posts to know if you've talked this way before but I'm seeing it now, and honestly, even though I'm a complete stranger, this just downright pisses me off because I share the same road. I care! And this is not just you, but to then original poster and everyone else who comes in here with this type of question.

 

 

This goes to all of you.

 

Okay, you feel like you messed up. Got it. You feel like you will never find another. I understand.

 

To the former, if you feel like you messed up, well then that proves you're just damn human son. We HAVE all messed up in our ways. Some of us have messed up things or with others where we NEVER get another word or think we find forgiveness from them and sometimes we dont. But I'll tell you know what, unless you KILLED someone or were just a downright EVIL person in the truest sense of the word, you didn't commit some unspeakable, horrible crime. Sure, you may not have been all sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes sunshine and rainbows just dont damn right mix with cloudy days (aka some people just don't belong together no matter how hard you try.)

 

PLEASE knock off this thought and get square right quick because this kind of talk is b.s. and you know it.

 

You better forgive yourself and get to living and if you're not able to do that forgiving for yourself and you feel like you won't ever hear it from HER or HIM or whoever, then you do what we all do in those situations: find REDEMPTION in just MOVING ON and making yourself a better person.

 

I dont care where you live. I dont care how tough your city or place may be for dating or how much you THINk you just lost. I dont care if they were hot/handsome, sweet as angel and you brought them tears, those tears will NEVER equal YOUR life and all the days of purpose, hard as they are to see right now. NEVER.

 

Please stop thinking that they do.

 

I DO care that you realize these dont define the future or your possibilities.

 

I DO care that you realize we all have a divine spark waiting to blaze with love and compassion outside of just romantic love which makes us worthy of LIFE if we set it ablaze. I do CARE in you finding your redemption, however you define it, IF its needed. [i don't think you did bad. 90% of us on here haven't.)

 

You want to find redemption, you want to find peace? Hell, do you want to open the seemingly impossible, unmovable door to someone else worth having? Then become the best man you can be and I'm not talking about the sweet fluffy stuff posted here about getting a better job, a new wardrobe, or working out, I'm talking about being a better MAN in actions and deed.

 

That in itself, makes life a fantastic journey worth having. That is true wealth and it is worth winning beyond any good looking woman with a great rack (as some mention on here), great curves, a handsome man, or wealth which you cant take with you into the next life.

 

Its what makes you legendary. Thats what echoes in time. Becoming and being a good, decent, loving human being to all you encounter.

 

As for finding another, I get that too. Hell, I even posted something similar today about having someone else makes me feel more validated and complete. I'm not going to say that it doesn't. I'm not going to say that it isnt what I want in life to share my life with. Yes, its important.

 

But you know what, the key word is MORE. It only adds to what I have. The absence of it doesn't TAKE anything AWAY from who I am presently or how I MATTER to other people now or how my simple story or path, might be the ONE story that changes the course for someone else in the future when all other stories, when all other people fail.

 

Its the same thing with you. So many of you are so, so young on here and hearing you all talk like this when there is SO MUCH in front of you in terms of paths and possibilities BREAKS MY HEART MORE THEN MY EX EVER DID OR WILL.

 

Don't let this destroy you. The past SUCKS. Sometimes who we were in certain times of our lives SUCKED because we were young, stupid, selfish, faced an addiction, afflicted, etc, etc but you know what? THE PAST IS GONE. ITS DONE. ITS OVER. That is its greatest quality, that and its lessons.

 

But what is greater is the FUTURE. Why is it great? Because we can make it ANYTHING we want it to be.

 

 

As for living alone, if its my fate at 37 then so friggen be it. I'm a good person. That's what matters and as this song says I'll live this life until THIS LIFE (not MY own hand) says I can't live it anymore.

 

Edited May 14, 2015 by fireflywy

[DannyCA]

Jon how old are you? Are you in your twenties?

 

I have been on here as long as you have and you have made some significant strides and maybe I haven't read all of your posts to know if you've talked this way before but I'm seeing it now, and honestly, even though I'm a complete stranger, this just downright pisses me off because I share the same road. I care! And this is not just you, but to then original poster and everyone else who comes in here with this type of question.

 

 

This goes to all of you.

 

Okay, you feel like you messed up. Got it. You feel like you will never find another. I understand.

 

To the former, if you feel like you messed up, well then that proves you're just damn human son. We HAVE all messed up in our ways. Some of us have messed up things or with others where we NEVER get another word or think we find forgiveness from them and sometimes we dont. But I'll tell you know what, unless you KILLED someone or were just a downright EVIL person in the truest sense of the word, you didn't commit some unspeakable, horrible crime. Sure, you may not have been all sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes sunshine and rainbows just dont damn right mix with cloudy days (aka some people just don't belong together no matter how hard you try.)

 

PLEASE knock off this thought and get square right quick because this kind of talk is b.s. and you know it.

 

You better forgive yourself and get to living and if you're not able to do that forgiving for yourself and you feel like you won't ever hear it from HER or HIM or whoever, then you do what we all do in those situations: find REDEMPTION in just MOVING ON and making yourself a better person.

 

I dont care where you live. I dont care how tough your city or place may be for dating or how much you THINk you just lost. I dont care if they were hot/handsome, sweet as angel and you brought them tears, those tears will NEVER equal YOUR life and all the days of purpose, hard as they are to see right now. NEVER.

 

Please stop thinking that they do.

 

I DO care that you realize these dont define the future or your possibilities.

 

I DO care that you realize we all have a divine spark waiting to blaze with love and compassion outside of just romantic love which makes us worthy of LIFE if we set it ablaze. I do CARE in you finding your redemption, however you define it, IF its needed. [i don't think you did bad. 90% of us on here haven't.)

 

You want to find redemption, you want to find peace? Hell, do you want to open the seemingly impossible, unmovable door to someone else worth having? Then become the best man you can be and I'm not talking about the sweet fluffy stuff posted here about getting a better job, a new wardrobe, or working out, I'm talking about being a better MAN in actions and deed.

 

That in itself, makes life a fantastic journey worth having. That is true wealth and it is worth winning beyond any good looking woman with a great rack (as some mention on here), great curves, a handsome man, or wealth which you cant take with you into the next life.

 

Its what makes you legendary. Thats what echoes in time. Becoming and being a good, decent, loving human being to all you encounter.

 

As for finding another, I get that too. Hell, I even posted something similar today about having someone else makes me feel more validated and complete. I'm not going to say that it doesn't. I'm not going to say that it isnt what I want in life to share my life with. Yes, its important.

 

But you know what, the key word is MORE. It only adds to what I have. The absence of it doesn't TAKE anything AWAY from who I am presently or how I MATTER to other people now or how my simple story or path, might be the ONE story that changes the course for someone else in the future when all other stories, when all other people fail.

 

Its the same thing with you. So many of you are so, so young on here and hearing you all talk like this when there is SO MUCH in front of you in terms of paths and possibilities BREAKS MY HEART MORE THEN MY EX EVER DID OR WILL.

 

Don't let this destroy you. The past SUCKS. Sometimes who we were in certain times of our lives SUCKED because we were young, stupid, selfish, faced an addiction, afflicted, etc, etc but you know what? THE PAST IS GONE. ITS DONE. ITS OVER. That is its greatest quality, that and its lessons.

 

But what is greater is the FUTURE. Why is it great? Because we can make it ANYTHING we want it to be.

 

 

As for living alone, if its my fate at 37 then so friggen be it. I'm a good person. That's what matters and as this song says I'll live this life until THIS LIFE (not MY own hand) says I can't live it anymore.

 

 

 

Truer words have never been spoken. Seriously, even though I have never met you Stephen or Jon, or anyone on here as a matter of fact that are thinking about suicide or personal harm, I hate to hear people talk about it and I hope you all can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

This sh** talk about suicide is the most ridiculous thing ever. To let an ex have so much power over you that you contemplate taking your life is ridiculous!

 

I know it sounds cheesy and cliched but life is this wonderful and amazing gift and journey that we were incredibly lucky to get. It really pisses me off when so many people f****** take it for granted.

 

Seriously, get your damn heads straight, life really is worth it

[RoseVille]

I would gladly live alone for the rest of my life if I can't find "The One."

 

Life is made more beautiful by relationships, for sure. But they need not be romantic. Friends and family are just as fulfilling.

[Jonp219]

Jon how old are you? Are you in your twenties?

 

I have been on here as long as you have and you have made some significant strides and maybe I haven't read all of your posts to know if you've talked this way before but I'm seeing it now, and honestly, even though I'm a complete stranger, this just downright pisses me off because I share the same road. I care! And this is not just you, but to then original poster and everyone else who comes in here with this type of question.

 

 

This goes to all of you.

 

Okay, you feel like you messed up. Got it. You feel like you will never find another. I understand.

 

To the former, if you feel like you messed up, well then that proves you're just damn human son. We HAVE all messed up in our ways. Some of us have messed up things or with others where we NEVER get another word or think we find forgiveness from them and sometimes we dont. But I'll tell you know what, unless you KILLED someone or were just a downright EVIL person in the truest sense of the word, you didn't commit some unspeakable, horrible crime. Sure, you may not have been all sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes sunshine and rainbows just dont damn right mix with cloudy days (aka some people just don't belong together no matter how hard you try.)

 

PLEASE knock off this thought and get square right quick because this kind of talk is b.s. and you know it.

 

You better forgive yourself and get to living and if you're not able to do that forgiving for yourself and you feel like you won't ever hear it from HER or HIM or whoever, then you do what we all do in those situations: find REDEMPTION in just MOVING ON and making yourself a better person.

 

I dont care where you live. I dont care how tough your city or place may be for dating or how much you THINk you just lost. I dont care if they were hot/handsome, sweet as angel and you brought them tears, those tears will NEVER equal YOUR life and all the days of purpose, hard as they are to see right now. NEVER.

 

Please stop thinking that they do.

 

I DO care that you realize these dont define the future or your possibilities.

 

I DO care that you realize we all have a divine spark waiting to blaze with love and compassion outside of just romantic love which makes us worthy of LIFE if we set it ablaze. I do CARE in you finding your redemption, however you define it, IF its needed. [i don't think you did bad. 90% of us on here haven't.)

 

You want to find redemption, you want to find peace? Hell, do you want to open the seemingly impossible, unmovable door to someone else worth having? Then become the best man you can be and I'm not talking about the sweet fluffy stuff posted here about getting a better job, a new wardrobe, or working out, I'm talking about being a better MAN in actions and deed.

 

That in itself, makes life a fantastic journey worth having. That is true wealth and it is worth winning beyond any good looking woman with a great rack (as some mention on here), great curves, a handsome man, or wealth which you cant take with you into the next life.

 

Its what makes you legendary. Thats what echoes in time. Becoming and being a good, decent, loving human being to all you encounter.

 

As for finding another, I get that too. Hell, I even posted something similar today about having someone else makes me feel more validated and complete. I'm not going to say that it doesn't. I'm not going to say that it isnt what I want in life to share my life with. Yes, its important.

 

But you know what, the key word is MORE. It only adds to what I have. The absence of it doesn't TAKE anything AWAY from who I am presently or how I MATTER to other people now or how my simple story or path, might be the ONE story that changes the course for someone else in the future when all other stories, when all other people fail.

 

Its the same thing with you. So many of you are so, so young on here and hearing you all talk like this when there is SO MUCH in front of you in terms of paths and possibilities BREAKS MY HEART MORE THEN MY EX EVER DID OR WILL.

 

Don't let this destroy you. The past SUCKS. Sometimes who we were in certain times of our lives SUCKED because we were young, stupid, selfish, faced an addiction, afflicted, etc, etc but you know what? THE PAST IS GONE. ITS DONE. ITS OVER. That is its greatest quality, that and its lessons.

 

But what is greater is the FUTURE. Why is it great? Because we can make it ANYTHING we want it to be.

 

 

As for living alone, if its my fate at 37 then so friggen be it. I'm a good person. That's what matters and as this song says I'll live this life until THIS LIFE (not MY own hand) says I can't live it anymore.

 

 

I'm 25 years old

 

I appreciate the fact that you took your time to write that out. I don't know what Stephan's story is, but I've been battling depression since I was 11 years old and I've been suicidal many times in my life. I've never attempted it because i'm too much of a pussy, but nonetheless the thoughts are there from time to time. But you need to understand, that everything that happened to me is my fault. It's my fault I got bullied, it's my fault my father favored me less, it's my fault I screwed it up with my ex due to my past issues and insecurities, it's my fault i'm so paranoid, and it's my fault I never amounted to anything I ever wanted to be.

 

Now tell me, who can forgive themselves after all that? Let's pretend YOU are you're own ex how the hell can you forgive yourself after screwing up so many times? How? I never killed a man, I never physically harmed my ex, I never harmed a puppy, but I just wasn't good enough. And not being GOOD enough, is a whole lot worst than being the BAD guy.

[Jonp219]

Truer words have never been spoken. Seriously, even though I have never met you Stephen or Jon, or anyone on here as a matter of fact that are thinking about suicide or personal harm, I hate to hear people talk about it and I hope you all can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

This sh** talk about suicide is the most ridiculous thing ever. To let an ex have so much power over you that you contemplate taking your life is ridiculous!

 

I know it sounds cheesy and cliched but life is this wonderful and amazing gift and journey that we were incredibly lucky to get. It really pisses me off when so many people f****** take it for granted.

 

Seriously, get your damn heads straight, life really is worth it

 

You're going to have to take the lens from my grey distorted view of the world before you can say something like that. We don't all wake up with the sun shining in our faces with kids laughing in the meadows, some of us wake up cold, miserable, and hurt. We wake up with tears in our eyes looking up to God asking him, "Why another day? Why do you hate me this much?" As ****ed up as it sounds, I think God punishes us by making us live. Some people just tolerate the bull**** better than others. We don't all see life as a privilege, there are plenty of privileges WITHIN life, but life itself is not a privilege. I didn't ask to be here nor did I ask for the hand I was dealt. God gave me a marginal IQ, horrible social skills, codependency issues and told me, "Take your useless out there and go live for no reason just like the billion of other mistakes I made." An optimist sees life as a privilege, a realist see's life and knows it's expendable. I applaud your optimism, I see it has worked wonders for you based on everything you've told me since I started talking to you here.You're a good guy, and I Stephan heeds your advice.

[guest569]

Their actions say it all. If I get a date with a girl she wont even respond to my texts/calls after. Shes basically saying "sorry you're boring and I would never want to be with you" or "you're too ugly for me". Its quite apparent.

 

If they went on a date with you, I doubt they found you ugly. Sometimes they just don't feel it. There are lots of women who will find you interesting and attractive, so forget about the rest.

 

Being alone is not bad, I've spent nearly my entire life alone and would rather spend the remainder alone than be with someone for the sake of it. If you work on your self esteem, then at least you will love yourself and pick yourself up. Don't ever rely on others to do that.

[Satu]

*I just wasn't good enough. And not being GOOD enough, is a whole lot worst than being the BAD guy.

 

If you don't like being who you are you can change.

 

People do it all the time.

[Satu]

 

Being alone is not bad, I've spent nearly my entire life alone and would rather spend the remainder alone than be with someone for the sake of it. If you work on your self esteem, then at least you will love yourself and pick yourself up. Don't ever rely on others to do that.

 

Spending time alone was the best thing I ever did, because I actually learned to love myself.

[guest569]

I'm 25 years old

 

it's my fault I never amounted to anything I ever wanted to be.

 

You are so young, too young to be saying that.

 

I'm nearly 30, I am going to amount to something. There's a lot that I could have done in the past. It's never too late to try again.

[Satu]

No offence intended, but I'm starting to wonder if there's a kind of reverse Narcissism at play here.

 

"If I can't be the best and most loveable person in the world, I'll be the worst and least loveable, because I sure as hell won't be ordinary."

[TrevorDia]

I'll be more honest here than I've been with anyone but my former therapist - there have been days when I've woken up prepared to end my life. But there was never any rational thinking behind it, I was just being selfish in not being able to get past the fact that my ex didn't want me.

 

But being in a relationship isn't what life is all about - there are so many awesome things in the world to see and do, and I'm not going to rob myself of those things because I don't have someone to see and do them with. Don't forget that there are a lot of relationships out there that are toxic.

 

Personally, I enjoy time to myself, and in that time I've done a lot of things that I wouldn't have been able to if I had been in a relationship at the time. For my profession, I am a member of the self-employed Bar (barrister), and because of that I can essentially work when I want to - if I want to go do something else for a while, I can close up shop for a while and go away. For instance, a few months ago I needed a break after an intense case so I went working on a farm in Cuba for a month. But if I had a wife and kids and wanted to do that, presumably the wife would need to take time off work, the kids would need permission to leave school, there'd be so many things to take care of just before we could get away. So for now, I'm quite happy to have my freedom.

 

That isn't to say that I would want to be single forever - I mean, with the ex I'm currently getting over (24 days NC), I really thought I'd eventually end up spending my life with her. We'd planned out our whole life - marriage, kids, holidays, picnics, locations - everything! I don't care what anyone else says, she was my soulmate. It just wasn't meant to be though. We have to accept our lots in life, and sometimes that means things don't work out the way we wanted them. But just because the life we have isn't the best life we could possibly have, it doesn't stop it from being something special.

 

So your question was whether I'd rather live a single life forever or kill myself? I would always choose a single life forever. What I do in my "single life", it's good. I put away bad guys and I'm good at what I do. My relationship status has no impact on my work. What I do away from home, when I do my volunteer work - that's good too. After that, my home life would factor in. Yeah, I might regret having missed the chance to have the whole family life experience, but I personally think there's a whole lot more to life than your relationship status.

[loveweary11]

Wtf? Marginal IQ???

 

Your analysis of your own mental state and writing skill leads me to believe you have a much higher than normal IQ.

 

My ex did also, but because she had to battle her own mind 24/7, it left her less able to put brain power to use on other things.

 

Depression is real. It's not good and I can definitely hear it now in your posts.

 

A lot of people are going to give me a hard time on this, but have you considered various antidepressants, including things like St John's Wort (probably too weak for you), regular meds or even smoking weed to pop yourself out of the deepest valleys?

 

Depression is really a imbalance where emotions and negative thoughts spiral out of control. I've felt tiny bouts of it myelf. Situational depression. Mine is brought on whenever i feel like i failed, usually at a business setback.

 

There is no way out of it for me except going to sleep and waking up fine, or st johns wort. It's only situational depression for me if it happens, so it's easy to restore the balance and a pothead convinced me to try that for a bout of it I wss having a few months back. That worked very well to immediately lift me out.

 

If there was a way for you to skip the deepest valleys that would help a lot, I'm thinking.

 

Despite what you think of yourself, you're a normal looking, obviously intelligent guy.

 

 

 

 

You're going to have to take the lens from my grey distorted view of the world before you can say something like that. We don't all wake up with the sun shining in our faces with kids laughing in the meadows, some of us wake up cold, miserable, and hurt. We wake up with tears in our eyes looking up to God asking him, "Why another day? Why do you hate me this much?" As ****ed up as it sounds, I think God punishes us by making us live. Some people just tolerate the bull**** better than others. We don't all see life as a privilege, there are plenty of privileges WITHIN life, but life itself is not a privilege. I didn't ask to be here nor did I ask for the hand I was dealt. God gave me a marginal IQ, horrible social skills, codependency issues and told me, "Take your useless out there and go live for no reason just like the billion of other mistakes I made." An optimist sees life as a privilege, a realist see's life and knows it's expendable. I applaud your optimism, I see it has worked wonders for you based on everything you've told me since I started talking to you here.You're a good guy, and I Stephan heeds your advice.

Edited May 14, 2015 by loveweary11

[ASV]

Had I the certainty I'll spend the rest of my life alone, I'd kill myself with no hesitation.

 

And I'll tell you why:

 

I, as Jon, am suffering from depression since childhood - a real hard one, if you ask me. Meds haven't done no good to me and doing and kinda believing the typical things everyone comments to improve oneself don't seem to work for me. That's why I opened my thread on working to find a better self, before it turned out to be a discussion on whether I'm a shallow dude or not because of the remembrance of my ex's boobs.

 

I can give you some proof: since my BU I've been travelling, I've been museums I've spent years wanting to visit, I've been to different places and met different people. And with EVERYTHING I've done I had the inherent impulse to text HER or enclose HER a picture. And she wouldn't care less, even when we were together, for museums or that different places. But the sole thought that she would have laughed at my overreactions and overexcitements made me the happiest man alive, for I am one dude that hasn't ever found balance between extreme happiness and suicidal state of being (my normal state, if you ask me, but as Jon stated I may be too pussy to commit it).

 

I know some people cannot make it at all, and finding different interests may work to them. I still feel I'm unable to find a greater impulse than a woman I can be attached to and, okay, can ENHANCE my happiness instead of providing it. It's inherent to my cyclothymia that either I have it all or lose it all. I can have projects, goals, things to look forward to..., but I need a feminine figure, or HER at this given moment, backing up. I've felt different kinds of serotonine fixes during my personal endeavors, but none came close to the feeling of waking up next to her. And "if life is not fair to everyone at all" and I shall be content without having it again, well, I can state openly I'm better off dead.

 

In other words: to some it may sound cool to just keep on trying and failing, and trying better and finally getting something, even though if that means that they will spend their life alone. In my case, in which finding a significant other is the main goal, conforming to this would mean just that, conforming. And that provides me of some extra depression I don't really know how to manage properly.

 

Sorry if that sounded too wimpy to some, but felt like I needed to vent and justify my response.

[NoLeafClover]

I was in a relationship for 7 years and when that ended I dated around here and there...now I have been single for about a year and I am extremely happy.

Why would anyone not want to live because of an ex its very sad to me.

[RoseHeart]

Suicide is never the option. Tomorrow could have been a better day. Plus there's a lot to live for. Whenever I feel like I want to give up I go for a walk somewhere in nature (beach, forest) and just look at everything around me and see the wonders that still exist in the world. I also just have to take a look at the tragedies that some people have to face every day and then I realize how lucky I am to still be living as a healthy being with lots of potential and opportunities. Yeah so I might be alone and not have a companion in my life right now but I am alive and healthy! I can do a lot of things despite not having a boyfriend. It doesn't make me disadvantaged or unable to enjoy anything in life. It just makes me more determined to find happiness by myself and to work on myself so that when I do meet someone I can be the best version of me.

[Jonp219]

If you don't like being who you are you can change.

 

People do it all the time.

 

My problem is that I had SO MANY opportunities to change in my relationship and I away swept it under the rug. She supported me thought my bouts of depression and when I decided to go back to therapy. I made valid efforts but I would eventually relapse back to my old ways until she got fed up with my bull****. I took her kindness for granted and she finally decided she didn't want to deal with my ass anymore. My thing is why didn't I change in my relationship? Why did I let the argument go from yelling to tears? How could I be so dumb, selfish and stupid? It took the break-up to make me realize I REALLY needed to change but now it doesn't matter, because in my head it's too late. It will always be too late.

[fireflywy]

I'm 25 years old

 

I appreciate the fact that you took your time to write that out. I don't know what Stephan's story is, but I've been battling depression since I was 11 years old and I've been suicidal many times in my life. I've never attempted it because i'm too much of a pussy, but nonetheless the thoughts are there from time to time. But you need to understand, that everything that happened to me is my fault. It's my fault I got bullied, it's my fault my father favored me less, it's my fault I screwed it up with my ex due to my past issues and insecurities, it's my fault i'm so paranoid, and it's my fault I never amounted to anything I ever wanted to be.

 

Now tell me, who can forgive themselves after all that? Let's pretend YOU are you're own ex how the hell can you forgive yourself after screwing up so many times? How? I never killed a man, I never physically harmed my ex, I never harmed a puppy, but I just wasn't good enough. And not being GOOD enough, is a whole lot worst than being the BAD guy.

 

None of these things are YOUR fault. You said you've been battling depression for a very long time. This is a CONDITION, so there is NOTHING that you did that needs to be forgiven and even if there WERE things in the past which impacted how you treated someone, you simply realize that it is IN YOUR PAST and because you are no longer in those moments, realize it impacts your psyche yes, but also realize you don't have to LIVE there anymore. That exact moment, that EXACT time is nothing more then a shadow, and all that remains is your MEMORY of it, which, in all honesty, are ALWAYS skewed because they are limited to our OWN five senses.

 

You just keep moving on. You tell yourself, "I don't know when my day in the sun is coming. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow. Hell, I KNOW there will ALWAYS he storms, but that day, many of those days are coming."

 

That will never happen if people end it.

 

All of these people on here saying "I would end it if I was going to be single" are crazy. It's not good to even mention that. Why? Because there are so many people on here who are facing deep depression and incorrectly STUCK in the mindset that they WILL be alone and so certain of it that they are contemplating erasing themselves from existence because of a TEMPORARY condition.

 

To all of you readers out there contemplating this because you absolutely KNOW you won't find anyone else, please send me a private message because I REALLY want you to divine how the stock market will rally tommorrow, what I should invest in, and while you're at it, what the upcoming Powerball numbers are going to be.

 

The truth is YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL BE SO DON'T CUT YOURSELF OFF FROM IT BEFORE YOU GET TO SEE WHAT IS IN STORE.

 

And to Jon, who CARES if she forgives you. She isn't some kind of GOD. She isn't the arbiter of or weigher of YOUR value. If you sent her an apology of your remorse and she didn't accept it then that's HER own stupid sel and she can F off already. If you didn't because she has you blocked, well then F her there too. I'm going to start bashing this woman if it makes you final knock her off this golden pedestal you have her on.

 

F her and what she thinks NOW. All that matters now is how YOU live and how YOU change. LIVE YOUR LIFE MAN.

Edited May 14, 2015 by fireflywy

[Jonp219]

And to Jon, who CARES if she forgives you. She isn't some kind of GOD. She isn't the arbiter of or weigher of YOUR value. If you sent her an apology of your remorse and she didn't except it then that's HER own stupid sel and she can F off already. If you didn't because she has you blocked, well then F her there too. I'm going to start bashing this woman if it makes you final knock her off this golden pedestal you have her on.

 

F her and what she thinks NOW. All that matters now is how YOU live and how YOU change. LIVE YOUR LIFE MAN.

 

She blocked everything but my number, that bitch.

 

I'm mad I messed it up with such a good girl. Even my mom looked a little disappointed in me. She didn't say these exact words but the look on her face just said, "How could you mess it up with such a nice girl". But she did say, "You need to learn my son, you need to learn to be patient and keep your composure with others." All I could do is look in the mirror and tell myself, "You, have you done this time? You really did it this time..." I took her for granted just like my dad took my mom for granted. Now we're both just two losers that lost the best women in our lives.