Do women regret rejecting a guy for another and miss him again?

[y2k]

Simple scenario. Could a woman reject a man for someone else, then regret that decision not too far later and miss the man she rejected, causing her to try to get him back?

 

I was in a friends with benefits thing with a girl for 10 months. Sometimes I acted weak, and she pulled away. But when I acted strong again, she responded positively. She then fell in love, but I told her I wasn't in love so she threw me away. Now I'm in love with her.

 

She then chased me, played hard to get, and tested the hell out of me. Sometimes I looked strong, sometimes I looked weak. I then admitted (my fault) that she hurt me with some things. Then out of no where she then rejected me hard (with respect but it was a real rejection). I found out that she met another guy, and chose him over me (she didn't tell me this, I found out from a third party).

 

Although I'm moving on, I still have the curiosity if women can change their feelings and minds, even after a display of weakness from a guy she once fell in love with? I'm not going to lie, if she contacts me again, I will just invite her out and see what happens (why not?). We do have a history. I'm not just "some guy". But I ask the women who went through something like this, and the guy players out there with such an experience......the question is simple: Could a woman reject a man for someone else, then regret that decision not too far later and miss the man she rejected, causing her to try to get him back?

 

EDIT: I know some people will respond more to my story. I personally want more of a discussion on the question I highlighted. The story is just a background as to why I ask. Please attempt to address the question more than the story. Thank you all.

Edited May 15, 2015 by y2k
I put it there....

[Gloria25]

Every woman is different, but in my case, when I'm done with a guy...I'm done.

 

And trust me, before dude is erased from my thoughts and heart, I've given him more than enough chances to have a comeback before I'm done.

 

And, one sign for me that I'm over a guy is when I'm noticing other guys...worst if I boink someone else. Boinking another guy seals the deal for me and nope, no coming back after that. He can try all he wants...

[h0000]

Again every girl is different but I will not either.

Some girl will start chasing you after she gets dumped by another guy, but I hardly think she has genuine intentions

[La.Primavera]

Unlikely if he was only a FWB.

[elaine567]

YOU started as FWBs, she fell in love with you, you rejected her.

I guess she was very upset at that point and most likely disengaged herself from you.

YOU then decide you do love her, but being a *scorned woman, she toyed with you and played hard to get and hurt you, just like you hurt her.

Eventually she found someone else and she moved on.

 

That initial rejection when she laid her heart on the line and you told her you did not love her, will have coloured her perception of you. She was sleeping with you, developed feelings for you and your rejection made her feel used and maybe a little cheap. (even if she always knew she was just a FWB).

At that point, you went down in her assessment of you, you were then just a "user".

She had over the 10 months, built up this image of you as her lover, someone who she perhaps thought loved her too, to find you thought of her as simply somewhere to park your d*ck. Not a great feeling.

 

I doubt she will want to have much to do with you in the future, but never say never...

 

*Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd,

Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd.

[Saturn1990]

Doesn't sound like people here believe in second chances. Nobody is perfect. How would you feel if you were not given a second chance after you mess up? Restoration and healing of a relationship can happen provided enough time has passed and you work hard to build the trust back. It won't be easy but doesn't mean it is impossible.

 

It is just like having damaged credit score. It takes a long time to recover and to rebuild trust with lenders but credit reports can be redeemed. Having a history of late payments doesn't mark you off with bad credit for life. It takes 7 years provided that one pays their bills on time from now on.

 

Romantic relationships are not much different. It takes time to rebuild damaged trust in relationships whether it is with lenders or lovers or even with the driving record. A reckless driving charge is serious but not a life sentence. One can repair their driving record after good behavior for many years.

 

Those who have truly repented of how they have done their partner wrong will understand and expect that rebuilding the trust will be a long process but they will feel it is worth it if they really love their partner. Problem is many folks expect to see results overnight and that's not how it works. Not seeing results overnight is not the same as never.

Edited May 15, 2015 by Saturn1990

[todreaminblue]

This is what i know to be true...if its real love ......and the person truly does love that person then chances are possible.....but...if its been a long time it was an acrimonious ending with nasty battles.........and she has shut the door then thats it...we as people only have one life to live here on earth......there has to be a moving on eventually there has to be a closure on the chance thing.... so moving on is possible.......some people take longer to move on than others...when it seems completely hopeless......thats when i move on.....and i am a battler...i fight and fight and fight again......but i have to also draw the line....and i think thats what chances are about. lines in the sand.......and also hope is on those lines.... and everything in between has to have progression...everyone has a time period and lines in the sand.......thats just logic...........deb......

[bachdude]

In answer to your question, yes, a woman can reject a guy and later regret it and try to win him back. I've seen it before and I have personally experienced it. Heck, I've seen couples get married with a break up in their past.

 

 

I know you didn't so much want comments on your story, but I have to say that so many guys on this forum act as if a display of weakness is the worst possible thing a guy can do and it must be the reason she rejected him. Now, it might be true in your case, I have no idea, but there are a myriad of reasons women reject guys. I could fill books with how many times a girlfriend became distant and I was convinced in my mind it was "X" when in reality it was "Y". I admit I may be totally off base here in your case.

[Gloria25]

YOU started as FWBs, she fell in love with you, you rejected her.

I guess she was very upset at that point and most likely disengaged herself from you.

YOU then decide you do love her, but being a *scorned woman, she toyed with you and played hard to get and hurt you, just like you hurt her.

Eventually she found someone else and she moved on.

 

That initial rejection when she laid her heart on the line and you told her you did not love her, will have coloured her perception of you. She was sleeping with you, developed feelings for you and your rejection made her feel used and maybe a little cheap. (even if she always knew she was just a FWB).

At that point, you went down in her assessment of you, you were then just a "user".

She had over the 10 months, built up this image of you as her lover, someone who she perhaps thought loved her too, to find you thought of her as simply somewhere to park your d*ck. Not a great feeling.

 

I doubt she will want to have much to do with you in the future, but never say never...

 

*Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd,

Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd.

 

I double "like" ^^

 

I also fixed it with some bolds and strikethroughs

[Gloria25]

Doesn't sound like people here believe in second chances. Nobody is perfect. How would you feel if you were not given a second chance after you mess up? Restoration and healing of a relationship can happen provided enough time has passed and you work hard to build the trust back. It won't be easy but doesn't mean it is impossible.

 

It is just like having damaged credit score. It takes a long time to recover and to rebuild trust with lenders but credit reports can be redeemed. Having a history of late payments doesn't mark you off with bad credit for life. It takes 7 years provided that one pays their bills on time from now on.

 

Romantic relationships are not much different. It takes time to rebuild damaged trust in relationships whether it is with lenders or lovers or even with the driving record. A reckless driving charge is serious but not a life sentence. One can repair their driving record after good behavior for many years.

 

Those who have truly repented of how they have done their partner wrong will understand and expect that rebuilding the trust will be a long process but they will feel it is worth it if they really love their partner. Problem is many folks expect to see results overnight and that's not how it works. Not seeing results overnight is not the same as never.

 

Well, then you better work hard at it...

 

The only way you know for sure is through time, consistency, and effort by the party who did you wrong.

 

But, that's very hard for me to do - to let someone back in. It takes a lot for me to trust someone, to open up to someone cuz all the childhood trauma I had. When someone spits on me opening up to them I take it really hard and to protect myself the iron wall goes up.

 

That's why I say that when I move on, I've moved on...I can't go back to someone who proved that they are capable of hurting me.

[preraph]

Sounds like she gave you a couple of chances. I don't know why you're magically in love with her now when you weren't when you were together, so I'd be examining that and seeing if it isn't just missing regular sex.

[y2k]

Just an update. It's been 12 days we don't communicate when all of the sudden she tries to indirectly flaunt her new boyfriend (who by the way is no where near her real type).

 

I suspect she is intentionally trying to make me jealous. She obviously (at least in my opinion) isn't seeing this guy as a serious option, and this implies that she still has feelings for me.

 

Either way I'm moving along my path. Though again, I wouldn't mind it being with her. I'm taking this as a good sign, and I'm ignoring her indirect attempts to make me jealous (or at least I'm not letting her know I realize what she is doing).

 

Thoughts???

 

Also if anyone else could answer the original question in the original post, that would be great.

[MissBee]

Simple scenario. Could a woman reject a man for someone else, then regret that decision not too far later and miss the man she rejected, causing her to try to get him back?

 

I was in a friends with benefits thing with a girl for 10 months. Sometimes I acted weak, and she pulled away. But when I acted strong again, she responded positively. She then fell in love, but I told her I wasn't in love so she threw me away. Now I'm in love with her.

 

She then chased me, played hard to get, and tested the hell out of me. Sometimes I looked strong, sometimes I looked weak. I then admitted (my fault) that she hurt me with some things. Then out of no where she then rejected me hard (with respect but it was a real rejection). I found out that she met another guy, and chose him over me (she didn't tell me this, I found out from a third party).

 

Although I'm moving on, I still have the curiosity if women can change their feelings and minds, even after a display of weakness from a guy she once fell in love with? I'm not going to lie, if she contacts me again, I will just invite her out and see what happens (why not?). We do have a history. I'm not just "some guy". But I ask the women who went through something like this, and the guy players out there with such an experience......the question is simple: Could a woman reject a man for someone else, then regret that decision not too far later and miss the man she rejected, causing her to try to get him back?

 

EDIT: I know some people will respond more to my story. I personally want more of a discussion on the question I highlighted. The story is just a background as to why I ask. Please attempt to address the question more than the story. Thank you all.

 

Possibility and probability, those are the things to consider. The two are different. Anything is possible technically, but not necessarily highly probable.

 

Given what you've said: back and forth rejections, she says she likes you, you reject her, you go through this whole thing now you're supposedly "in love" (although I'm guessing a lot of this is about wanting what you can't have versus actual love, which often happens when people can no longer have someone they've taken for granted, they may not love them but because they don't have them anymore they start panicking and missing them and saying they love them), then she rejects you respectfully and you find out she has a new man from a third party. In this case it seems very improbable and unlikely she will come back and pursue you.

 

It may be possible in some cases with less back and forth but in your case she seems genuinely done and that's why she respectfully rejected you and didn't even tell you about this other guy 'cause she didn't want to hurt your feelings.

[y2k]

Simple scenario. Could a woman reject a man for someone else, then regret that decision not too far later and miss the man she rejected, causing her to try to get him back?

 

I was in a friends with benefits thing with a girl for 10 months. Sometimes I acted weak, and she pulled away. But when I acted strong again, she responded positively. She then fell in love, but I told her I wasn't in love so she threw me away. Now I'm in love with her.

 

She then chased me, played hard to get, and tested the hell out of me. Sometimes I looked strong, sometimes I looked weak. I then admitted (my fault) that she hurt me with some things. Then out of no where she then rejected me hard (with respect but it was a real rejection). I found out that she met another guy, and chose him over me (she didn't tell me this, I found out from a third party).

 

Although I'm moving on, I still have the curiosity if women can change their feelings and minds, even after a display of weakness from a guy she once fell in love with? I'm not going to lie, if she contacts me again, I will just invite her out and see what happens (why not?). We do have a history. I'm not just "some guy". But I ask the women who went through something like this, and the guy players out there with such an experience......the question is simple: Could a woman reject a man for someone else, then regret that decision not too far later and miss the man she rejected, causing her to try to get him back?

 

EDIT: I know some people will respond more to my story. I personally want more of a discussion on the question I highlighted. The story is just a background as to why I ask. Please attempt to address the question more than the story. Thank you all.

 

Possibility and probability, those are the things to consider. The two are different. Anything is possible technically, but not necessarily highly probable.

 

Given what you've said: back and forth rejections, she says she likes you, you reject her, you go through this whole thing now you're supposedly "in love" (although I'm guessing a lot of this is about wanting what you can't have versus actual love, which often happens when people can no longer have someone they've taken for granted, they may not love them but because they don't have them anymore they start panicking and missing them and saying they love them), then she rejects you respectfully and you find out she has a new man from a third party. In this case it seems very improbable and unlikely she will come back and pursue you.

 

It may be possible in some cases with less back and forth but in your case she seems genuinely done and that's why she respectfully rejected you and didn't even tell you about this other guy 'cause she didn't want to hurt your feelings.

 

She is now trying to make me jealous by hinting to me that there is a guy, but she is still trying her best to hide his identity. So I guess we can eliminate her not wanting to hurt my feelings. She is now trying to make me jealous, and she is trying to get my attention. I'm not initiating any contact with her but she is now doing this on her own.

 

I suspect it's because deep down she still has legit feelings for me, but because she is hurt, she (as many girls do) is filling the void with another guy. That guy is no where near her type.

 

Since we spoke last after her rejection, I basically said that I'm moving on. Her new actions seem to imply that she could be beginning to second guess that decision of hers. I don't know, may others can give me an opinion. A girl who tries to make an ex-bf/or lover jealous is one that still wishes to be with that ex-bf/or lover.

[forumman83]

It sounds like you have a chance if you get your act together. Go NC and get to work on yourself as a man. WHen the time is right, you will know and by then hopefully you have the confidence to handle it accordingly.

 

 

You're right, any "relationship" she is in now is probably a rebound at best. Give her over to it. Let her have her way and she won't want it. Go dark and work on yourself. 30 days minimum.

[y2k]

It sounds like you have a chance if you get your act together. Go NC and get to work on yourself as a man. WHen the time is right, you will know and by then hopefully you have the confidence to handle it accordingly.

 

 

You're right, any "relationship" she is in now is probably a rebound at best. Give her over to it. Let her have her way and she won't want it. Go dark and work on yourself. 30 days minimum.

 

Update. She ended her "rebound relationship". It only lasted a week and a half (LMAO). She is now with her family since her brother just got here from Colombia so I guess she is very busy with that (we are all latinos by the way....our women are tough to keep, difficult to get, lol). Now that she dumped her rebound after ONLY a week and a half, once she is done with her family responsibilities, I suspect she'll contact me, and from there it's up to me. I'll just invite her to go out and I'll have a good time and see what happens.

 

To every guy trying to get his GF back, just walk away with love and respect. VERY few men do it. Women deep down inside respond well to the guy who walks away without begging or being needy.

 

And I guess we learned to NOT get stressed over quick rebounds from women. She just used him.

[calvincline47]

Women have so many options that it's pretty much one and done. You get one chance. No more.

 

Well, that's if you're an average or slightly above average looking guy. If you're good-looking, you'll have a few more chances.

 

But, either way, women can just easily swing to the next guy so I wouldn't hold my breath.

[y2k]

Women have so many options that it's pretty much one and done. You get one chance. No more.

 

Well, that's if you're an average or slightly above average looking guy. If you're good-looking, you'll have a few more chances.

 

But, either way, women can just easily swing to the next guy so I wouldn't hold my breath.

 

Or of course if you've had a significant past history with them, you'll have advantages over others. This is why I let her go without begging, because I had the confidence that my total package plus our history would drive her back to me, and long and behold that's what is happening. For her to dump her rebound after only a week and a half is huge.

 

Women are very complex. They end the majority of relationships. I'd even say that they are a large cause of relationships failing (their irrationality with their mates in certain situations is mind boggling). That's not to say men don't cause things to go sour but women can be unreasonable with these things. It's best to know how to use reverse psychology, and other tactics.

 

I've learned the following about women:

 

1) Don't be too emotional. Show as little as possible (not a dead fish either). Women see this as weakness (it makes no sense......emotions don't always indicate strength/weakness....but that's women logic). Only show emotions at appropriate times. And DO NOT allow your display of emotions to be a greater level (or even too close) than hers ever. If your mother dies, yes, it is okay to cry in front of her. If her mother dies, don't you dare shed a tear. Just be there to receive her hug (note the word "receive" her hug, NOT go over and hug her).

 

2) Don't be needy. You must be willing to let her go at any moment, and she must sense that you are more than willing to let her go. This makes women feel safer with you, because they'll subconsciously know that they can enter and leave your life without any problems. How many men go crazy (and display it) when their girl leaves them??? When my girl texted me, "it's best we don't speak to each other anymore...good luck with your life", I just responded "ok" and nothing else. This drove her mad, and it increased her attraction to me. Women always test men (whether they know it or not). Even in breaking up with a man, they are testing to see his reaction. The response by the man will indicate the probability that man gets back his woman in the future.

 

3) Don't chase a woman. Let her text/call you the majority of the times. Chasing a women = doom.

 

4) Call her out on her BS. Many women (especially the drop dead gorgeous ones) will act or talk nonsense just to see how their man reacts. When she does stupid stuff, call her out on it. They love it.

 

There are probably more things I can come up with but for now that's it.

[carhill]

Could a woman reject a man for someone else, then regret that decision not too far later and miss the man she rejected, causing her to try to get him back?

 

Anything is possible. IME, it's never happened, whether from the dozens to hundreds of rejections or any breakups or my divorce. I always instinctively accepted that, when a woman's words and actions indicated she wasn't interested or was done, that was the final decision. So far, not wrong.

[calvincline47]

Or of course if you've had a significant past history with them, you'll have advantages over others. This is why I let her go without begging, because I had the confidence that my total package plus our history would drive her back to me, and long and behold that's what is happening. For her to dump her rebound after only a week and a half is huge.

 

Women are very complex. They end the majority of relationships. I'd even say that they are a large cause of relationships failing (their irrationality with their mates in certain situations is mind boggling). That's not to say men don't cause things to go sour but women can be unreasonable with these things. It's best to know how to use reverse psychology, and other tactics.

 

I've learned the following about women:

 

1) Don't be too emotional. Show as little as possible (not a dead fish either). Women see this as weakness (it makes no sense......emotions don't always indicate strength/weakness....but that's women logic). Only show emotions at appropriate times. And DO NOT allow your display of emotions to be a greater level (or even too close) than hers ever. If your mother dies, yes, it is okay to cry in front of her. If her mother dies, don't you dare shed a tear. Just be there to receive her hug (note the word "receive" her hug, NOT go over and hug her).

 

2) Don't be needy. You must be willing to let her go at any moment, and she must sense that you are more than willing to let her go. This makes women feel safer with you, because they'll subconsciously know that they can enter and leave your life without any problems. How many men go crazy (and display it) when their girl leaves them??? When my girl texted me, "it's best we don't speak to each other anymore...good luck with your life", I just responded "ok" and nothing else. This drove her mad, and it increased her attraction to me. Women always test men (whether they know it or not). Even in breaking up with a man, they are testing to see his reaction. The response by the man will indicate the probability that man gets back his woman in the future.

 

3) Don't chase a woman. Let her text/call you the majority of the times. Chasing a women = doom.

 

4) Call her out on her BS. Many women (especially the drop dead gorgeous ones) will act or talk nonsense just to see how their man reacts. When she does stupid stuff, call her out on it. They love it.

 

There are probably more things I can come up with but for now that's it.

 

This is pure genius. I would like it a million times if I could!

 

I'm not sure how old you are, but you will likely to the point where you get tired of dealing with the BS. I'm at that point now. After a particular number of FWB/girlfriends/hookups etc., it becomes boring and repetitive. Even more so if you start to travel a lot (foreign women have their own issues, but there is less nonsense than American women). Most men don't understand what I'm saying until they try it.

[sandylee1]

The simple answer is yes, sometimes they may reject and regret.