Is this a good thing to do?

[Lizrd3000]

So, I'm a person who never really went out and party, drink alcohol and stuff. I'm ALMOST 20 YEARS OLD (30th of may). I decided I need to forget my ex, and in order to do that, I really want to strengthen my social life, meet girls and stuff. I never really get attention from girls, because I don't really put myself out there, but I think I'm a OK-looking guy with a great and fun personality when I don't feel like ****.

 

 

My question here is, would going out and partying and drinking be good for my self-esteem, and help me forget about my ex? Even when I never really went out to clubs etc?

 

 

My biggest worry as to why I never went out, was because I was afraid of dancing, I can't dance, and I'd Always be insecure when I went out that people would look at me wieird. But at this point, I don't even really care anymore. I just want to feel good and meet people, get over my ex etc.

 

 

Would drinking be bad for me, if it helps me open up and have a fun time?

Is this a good way to find my identity and help me regain myself again?

This is by no means a way to ''make my ex jealous'', as I won't be posting ANYTHING on my fb, and my friends don't hang with her friends. this would all be for my sake.

 

 

Thanks guys, cheers! :-)

[d0nnivain]

Anything in moderation can be OK.

 

To go out with a plan to get drunk especially for the 1st time to forget is not going to turn out well. You don't know your own tolerance & will probably get yourself into some dangerous situations.

 

Do socialize more but do things you enjoy. You don't have to be drunk to do that.

[Jonp219]

So, I'm a person who never really went out and party, drink alcohol and stuff. I'm ALMOST 20 YEARS OLD (30th of may). I decided I need to forget my ex, and in order to do that, I really want to strengthen my social life, meet girls and stuff. I never really get attention from girls, because I don't really put myself out there, but I think I'm a OK-looking guy with a great and fun personality when I don't feel like ****.

 

 

My question here is, would going out and partying and drinking be good for my self-esteem, and help me forget about my ex? Even when I never really went out to clubs etc?

 

 

My biggest worry as to why I never went out, was because I was afraid of dancing, I can't dance, and I'd Always be insecure when I went out that people would look at me wieird. But at this point, I don't even really care anymore. I just want to feel good and meet people, get over my ex etc.

 

 

Would drinking be bad for me, if it helps me open up and have a fun time?

Is this a good way to find my identity and help me regain myself again?

This is by no means a way to ''make my ex jealous'', as I won't be posting ANYTHING on my fb, and my friends don't hang with her friends. this would all be for my sake.

 

 

Thanks guys, cheers! :-)

 

Talking from experience. If you're still grieving the lost of an ex then drinking is no good. You will forget about her in thr meantime but when you wake up in the morning your thoughts are going to be scrabbled. And then you might start drinking to self medicate your pain. Do socialize more but leave the drinking for sometime later down the road.

[OldRover]

Anything in moderation can be OK.

 

To go out with a plan to get drunk especially for the 1st time to forget is not going to turn out well. You don't know your own tolerance & will probably get yourself into some dangerous situations.

 

Do socialize more but do things you enjoy. You don't have to be drunk to do that.

 

Good post... agreed getting drunk is not a good option.... I'd also say to try the dancing, it's a good way to meet ladies. I bet you'd find one that will help you learn and would be fun. Don't worry about what people think, there's plenty of lousy dancers out there and soon you'll feel pretty good about it.

 

Don't forget about just getting active in things other that drinking and bars. The best women are not found in bars. Are you in school... if not, take a class, attend social functions there..... great way to meet women.

[SLee]

I'm just a year or so older than you. I partied a tiny bit my freshman year of college (only with friends, nothing too wild, etc.) and got it out of my system pretty quickly. Now that I'm in my twenties, going out does help me get over my ex. Not in the sense of meeting other guys or something, but that being where other people are in general helps me remember there's more to the world than the ex.

 

Drinking is okay but be careful and don't make it a habit. I drank heavily a couple times when I was dumped, and usually I was fine if I just came home and went to bed right away, but one night things got really bad for me emotionally and it was a mess. Also, as stated above, the morning after will make you feel like crap. It's your call, but do what's best for you and is healthy for you. Drinking when you're in a lot of emotional pain is generally a bad idea.

 

Not knowing how to dance isn't a big deal at all. A lot of people don't and it's not the only "go out and party" activity. If you go out, be yourself and have fun.

 

As far as finding yourself and your identity, it may help in the sense that building upon your social life will help. However, the party scene tends to be a really empty and superficial one, so I wouldn't advise getting too absorbed in it. You won't find yourself or love at the bottom of a bottle.

 

Like D0nnivain said, everything in moderation.

[Jimmyjackson]

Go out and get drunk but try go with a friend or two to look after you. Maybe leave your phone at home too or hand it to one of your friends in case you drunk dial.

 

Going out and socializing is good yeah, even if you kissed a girl in a club, you'd probably feel confident about yourself, especially if you've never experienced it before.

 

Dude, most people can't dance, when they're drunk they don't care though, if you go out sober you realise how different it looks to when you're drunk.

 

Just go out yeah, you don't even have to drink if you don't want to. Meeting new people and talking to others whether drunk/sober will take your mind off things, even if only temporary.

[Lizrd3000]

Thanks guys, all of the posts were helpful.

It's not that I've never drank, it's just that whenever I go out not drunk, I feel like I'm in a place where I don't belong. only when Im REALLY drunk I can get loose and have ALOT of fun. I do go to school yeah, but generally I can get close to someone, until I push them away somehow, because I'm afraid they'll find out there's nothing to me. So anything superficial like a party and getting drunk, kissing other people than my ex would be a great way to ''unlock'' myself, that's what I think.