nat1838 Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 There is this guy at work who I have known for a while, we work for a very large corporation and he works in a different dept. He has always been very nice to me and always has to get my attention when he sees me just to say hello. Very innocent. However, I don't really know him very well. Well a couple of weeks ago he started flirting with me big time. I knew that he was married, so I just ignored it. Well a couple of days ago I run into him and he asks if I have a boyfriend and when I say no, he asks for my phone number. I told him that he was crazy that I knew he was married. He said that he is now separated. (Which may be why he never flirted before now). He told me to think about it and I said I would, but I just am not sure what to do. On one hand, he could be lying to me. I have no way to really know for sure. On the other hand, I am looking for a relationship and he seems to be a really nice guy. I am kinda scared to get involved with someone who is separated (if he really is), because I don't want to get pulled into a mess. However, guy don't come along too often for me, and I'd hate to pass up a chance. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.......thank you Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 My advice: NO! Two very bad signs here: #1: You work together. #2: He's married. You could lose your job. He might be making the separation up. If I were you, I'd politely turn him down and resist the advances. If he keeps it up after you decline, well, let's just say that wouldn't be smart on his part. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Don't do it. Don't trust him. He's not separated, he just wants some poon on the side. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 I wouldn't trust him. Tell him when he gets divorced and shows you the papers then you might think about it. He probably just wants some on the side... Link to post Share on other sites
Natural9 Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Ask yourself this, Do I want to be his rebound poon? Then apply the answer to your original qeustion. Link to post Share on other sites
Three of Swords Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Take it from me, dating a co-worker is NOT the best idea in the world. I posted on here about it - asked advice - was told co-worker bad idea. Didn't listen cause I thought, it was OK - he is in a different department. It didn't work out, I still see him in the hallways, in the coffee room, on the way out from work - and it basically sucks. And it sounds like you are having doubts as to whether or not he really is separated. So I am with the others on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 IF he was single? Yup. I would have said, go for it...But...He's not #2: He's married. So my response to you is a definate No. Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 I would give him my number, and just talk. Don't go out on a date, don't lead him on, just make simple/nice conversation with him and get to know him. He just got out of "marriage", don't be a rebound be more like a new friend. Once you've talked to him and really gotten to know him, you'll know what he's all about and you can then maybe go on a date if you feel the attraction build. Just keep in mind, he just got out of a marriage, he may not be wanting anything serious. He probably just wants to enjoy some time with someone and you seemed very nice to him. Take things slow theirs no need to rush. Plus, you need to really know if he's separated, and the way you know is the times he calls you. Late at night or anytime he feels like...get me I would consider the fact he's a coworker...Don't mix business with pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever Take things slow theirs no need to rush. I cannot believe you have said the above NSN . You could write the book on "how to rush". Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 1) Light a candle 2) Put your hand over the flame 3) Remove when burnt to a crisp Romance, anybody? Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 1.Well I would consider bad to be romantically involved with someone who has just come out of a relation. When a person comes out of a relationships he/she by default likes the company and not cause the person being dated now is great. There is lot of mess also, would you like to be a person who always talks about the failed relationship earlier huge turnoff. How do you know for sure that he wants to date you cause he likes you ?? The fact is that since you are also looking for someone does suggests that you would develop strong feelings for him in the first few weeks, so that is another danger. 2.Well dating a co-worker was never supposed to be a good idea and I know in many firms HR has strict rules for it or else they ask you to do it at you own risk.There are several potential issues in it and the thing which TOS said about is valid.It will suck big time to work in the same office, if something goes wrong. If he is not that good then he might vitiate the work atmosphere of yours, you know like spreading words to your colleagues. IMHO, you should avoid dating him in the present context. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nat1838 Posted April 23, 2005 Author Share Posted April 23, 2005 The fact that he is a "coworker" is not a big issue to me. I have dated someone I worked in the same "room" with and that is something I would never do again, but this guy works in a completely different building. I only see him every couple of days, and unless he makes it a point to stop in and talk to me, or run into him I don't talk to him. (He just started stopping in to talk to me a couple of weeks ago, or excuse me, stopping in to flirt with me) Usually he is just riding by and he waves. Also its not like our jobs effect each other in any possible way either. I mean I work in IT and he is a Master Fork Truck Mechanic. Unless I go out with him an he turns out to be psycho, I don't think the fact that we work and the same company will be a problem. My main concern is whether he is or isn't separated, and if he is do I want anything to do with that. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to him some and get to know him before I really start stressing over whether I should go out with him. He hasn't "asked me out" yet, but the kind of flirting he is doing isn't a "I wanna be your friend" kinda flirting. The only catch is that I would have to tell him flat out when I start talking to him what my concern are. If he doesn't understand that then the issue is solved. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 24, 2005 Share Posted April 24, 2005 He's married. Link to post Share on other sites
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